Writing Prompt Entries 2014
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "He Loves Her Not"The clue is in the title!
12 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent rondeau entry, mystery writer.
It's a treat (sadly too rare on here) to read perfect rhyme and meter in structured poetry. You're obviously an accomplished poet, and your entry is so good, I've decided to save $5 by not entering. :-)
From your artwork, I see I double-meaning in 'she now can fly' - either she's free from him, OR she jumps off a cliff. If the latter, I hope she has a parachute in her bra. :-)
TOP writing, and good luck, Ted
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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Excellent rondeau entry, mystery writer.
It's a treat (sadly too rare on here) to read perfect rhyme and meter in structured poetry. You're obviously an accomplished poet, and your entry is so good, I've decided to save $5 by not entering. :-)
From your artwork, I see I double-meaning in 'she now can fly' - either she's free from him, OR she jumps off a cliff. If the latter, I hope she has a parachute in her bra. :-)
TOP writing, and good luck, Ted
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much Ted for your very lovely review - I appreciate your great comments and good luck wishes. Kindest regards as always... :)
ps. She didn't jump, she got a 2nd chance to be happy! (and she is!)
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Thank goodness for a happy ending. :-) Ted x
Comment from Pilot2Pen
An excellent poem for the prompt. The rhyming is smooth and seems effortless. With the exception of the repeating title lines at the en of the second and third stanzas, adherence to iambic tetrameter is excellent. If you wished to make those two repeating lines fit the meter, you could add the question, "He loves her yes?" before the "He loves her not."
It is a great poem either way and the poem is an easy read. It's an interesting look at two sides of the break up.
Great choice of artwork!
Great job and good luck with the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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An excellent poem for the prompt. The rhyming is smooth and seems effortless. With the exception of the repeating title lines at the en of the second and third stanzas, adherence to iambic tetrameter is excellent. If you wished to make those two repeating lines fit the meter, you could add the question, "He loves her yes?" before the "He loves her not."
It is a great poem either way and the poem is an easy read. It's an interesting look at two sides of the break up.
Great choice of artwork!
Great job and good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Hi Pilot2Pen :) Thank you for your wonderful review and suggestions, also your good luck wishes are appreciated! Kindest regards...:)