senryu secrets
My granddaughter28 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Oh this is lovely. When a granddaughter tells Grandma secrets it does make us feel young again - one of mine wanted me to go clubbing with her and her friends. Complimentary but not very realistic. Great write. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
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Oh this is lovely. When a granddaughter tells Grandma secrets it does make us feel young again - one of mine wanted me to go clubbing with her and her friends. Complimentary but not very realistic. Great write. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
you have the three lines 5-7-5 syllable count
your few words allow the reader to see and feel the images of yourself as your granddaughter tells you secret this make you feel young again
cheers Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest
you have the three lines 5-7-5 syllable count
your few words allow the reader to see and feel the images of yourself as your granddaughter tells you secret this make you feel young again
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
Comment from MarjorieAnne
These lines succinctly celebrate a vibrant loving bond between author and granddaughter. Use of slang and alliteration add to the appeal. I wonder if it would be possible to reword so as to omit the personal pronoun in one line and/ or do without "she".
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These lines succinctly celebrate a vibrant loving bond between author and granddaughter. Use of slang and alliteration add to the appeal. I wonder if it would be possible to reword so as to omit the personal pronoun in one line and/ or do without "she".
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
Comment from honeytree
I love the art work here
The words are really interesting.
It is good when the young ones today
Share their thoughts with us.
honey tree
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I love the art work here
The words are really interesting.
It is good when the young ones today
Share their thoughts with us.
honey tree
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
Comment from rouskin
my granddaughter rocks she tells me things in secret I am young again Lucky you This is what we are dreaming for!
Best of luck in the contest.
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my granddaughter rocks she tells me things in secret I am young again Lucky you This is what we are dreaming for!
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
Comment from Acquired Taste
To have a teenager share anything - let alone a secret - is cause for major celebration.
I guess I would feel the same way - young again. That they love you enough or rather that they trust you enough to share something is fabulous.
You should be exceedingly happy!
Best of luck. AT=/
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To have a teenager share anything - let alone a secret - is cause for major celebration.
I guess I would feel the same way - young again. That they love you enough or rather that they trust you enough to share something is fabulous.
You should be exceedingly happy!
Best of luck. AT=/
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
Comment from in777wr#
This was a humorous senryu poem. Your 5-7-5 syllable count is in good order. The message is clear, and there are no forcing of words. The last line sums up this poem well. Nice job.
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This was a humorous senryu poem. Your 5-7-5 syllable count is in good order. The message is clear, and there are no forcing of words. The last line sums up this poem well. Nice job.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
Comment from Dirus
Hi there,
nice job on this one. Short and sweet with good meaning. All grammar looks good. Nice choice of words on this poem keep up the good work. Thank you for the good read. Also I liked the picture. :)
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Hi there,
nice job on this one. Short and sweet with good meaning. All grammar looks good. Nice choice of words on this poem keep up the good work. Thank you for the good read. Also I liked the picture. :)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The poem flowed and connected well! The author words are clear, creative and strong. The last line puts the poem all together.
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Excellent Poem! The poem flowed and connected well! The author words are clear, creative and strong. The last line puts the poem all together.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
Comment from skye
my granddaughter rocks
she tells me things in secret
I am young again
They truly bring youth and vitality back into our lives. I love the picture, the imagery, and the idea of youth, both ends of two lives.
Excellent.
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my granddaughter rocks
she tells me things in secret
I am young again
They truly bring youth and vitality back into our lives. I love the picture, the imagery, and the idea of youth, both ends of two lives.
Excellent.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014