Tall Tales and Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "A camel named Clara #2"Personal growth stories for children
23 total reviews
Comment from Sylvia Page
This is a delightful story with a lesson in it. You put it across so tactfully in an easy manner, the child does not realise he or she is learning something new.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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This is a delightful story with a lesson in it. You put it across so tactfully in an easy manner, the child does not realise he or she is learning something new.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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What a wonderful review you have given on this one Sylvia, and the six star is such an added bonus. I am delighted you enjoyed this story. Love, have a great day. Carolyn
Comment from jmdg1954
Enjoy? What are you kidding, Carolyn? This is a great series. I'm reading this and besides envisioning the story in my head, the half of my Bryson is turning this into a picture book, with colorful artwork.
You're an amazing, gifted writer. I'm glad to be reading your work.
John
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Enjoy? What are you kidding, Carolyn? This is a great series. I'm reading this and besides envisioning the story in my head, the half of my Bryson is turning this into a picture book, with colorful artwork.
You're an amazing, gifted writer. I'm glad to be reading your work.
John
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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I still need an agent. Are you open? I love your comments John and hope to 'someday' live up to your expectations. I'm so glad you liked this one. Love, Carolyn
Comment from misscookie
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
I love how your story moved.
there was never a dull moment.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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You had my attention from the first line to the last.
I love how your story moved.
there was never a dull moment.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Thanks misscookie, I am happy you liked this one. :-) Carolyn
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Until next time.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting story from the author in this piece of writing. I was on a camel in Egypt. We took them back from seeing the pyramids. It was a fantastic experience to be riding a camel and looking over at these wonderful ancient monuments. Thanks for the memories.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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This is an interesting story from the author in this piece of writing. I was on a camel in Egypt. We took them back from seeing the pyramids. It was a fantastic experience to be riding a camel and looking over at these wonderful ancient monuments. Thanks for the memories.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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And what a memory you have. I am happy you enjoyed the story.
:-) Carolyn
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I did indeed.
Take care,
Tom.
Comment from royowen
I must admit, I enjoyed it immensely. I didn't know anything about a Bactrain camel, I now know a lot more! I loved this tale of Clara, and her friend Aabeed? An exciting time in the sandy desert. I enjoyed it so much. I prefer kid's stories so much! Well done, blessing, Roy.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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I must admit, I enjoyed it immensely. I didn't know anything about a Bactrain camel, I now know a lot more! I loved this tale of Clara, and her friend Aabeed? An exciting time in the sandy desert. I enjoyed it so much. I prefer kid's stories so much! Well done, blessing, Roy.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Roy, your comments are so warm and from your heart. I am delighted you enjoyed this story. (I will always be a kid at heart) I have a feeling you will be too. Love, Carolyn
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You're right about that, Carolyn. God told us, unless we believe like one, we'll have trouble seeing and trusting! Bless you, Roy.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, notesandmore, you did an excellent job writing this short story aobut the friendship between a boy and his camel and mnade the camel protect the boy in the sand storm. i enjoyed reading it..
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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this is very well written, notesandmore, you did an excellent job writing this short story aobut the friendship between a boy and his camel and mnade the camel protect the boy in the sand storm. i enjoyed reading it..
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Thank you for these wonderful and kind comments. I am delighted you enjoyed 'Clara'.:-) Carolyn
Comment from GracieAnn
Carolyn, this is a wonderful story in that it enlightens many who do not know about the desert's ways and the creatures special accommodations. The story held my interest and I did enjoy it. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Carolyn, this is a wonderful story in that it enlightens many who do not know about the desert's ways and the creatures special accommodations. The story held my interest and I did enjoy it. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Thanks GracieAnn, I can always count on your encouragement and wonderful support. :-) Carolyn
Comment from Cajungirl
Carolyn, I will read both these stories at my granddaughter's birthday sleep over on Saturday. I am sure they will enjoy the stories. I hope you consider continuing to write about Clara and her adventures. Excellent job.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Carolyn, I will read both these stories at my granddaughter's birthday sleep over on Saturday. I am sure they will enjoy the stories. I hope you consider continuing to write about Clara and her adventures. Excellent job.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the wonderful review and for enjoying Clara. Hope you have a great party. Two of our grandchildren are coming to spend Friday night so I will read to them as well. :-) Carolyn
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You are very welcome. My granddaughter will be turning 7 on Saturday the other one is 5 and I will have six other little girls here. :0
Comment from manicblue
This was a nice adventure story, leaving the reader wanting to know more. I noted some SPAG (spelling, grammar and punctuation) to fix. It reads well and I'm so glad Abbeed had his father's compass to find his way to Saheed's home. Once it's polished a bit, please let me know and I'll change the rating to five.
mb
"Mama and Papa was" = Mama and Papa were
" (I was taking ...)" = don't need the parenthesis; it reads well as part of the story line
"I commanded ,in ..."= no comma
"It held all my belongings, including my sleeping mat and cover, with ease."
= It held all my belongings with ease, including ..."
(move "with ease")
"I then realized we were" = I suddenly realized we were
"Then she shook her self..." = herself (one word)
"The wind was loud and fierce, sand blew and blew, at"
The wind was loud and fierce. Sand blew ferociously. At times... (break up into sentences)
Good girl Clara, thank you = Good girl, Clara. Thank you
move the comma, make into two sentences
"I looked around, the" = I looked around. The
Could you put in your author's notes about a Bactrian camel?
Please take care.
mb
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
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This was a nice adventure story, leaving the reader wanting to know more. I noted some SPAG (spelling, grammar and punctuation) to fix. It reads well and I'm so glad Abbeed had his father's compass to find his way to Saheed's home. Once it's polished a bit, please let me know and I'll change the rating to five.
mb
"Mama and Papa was" = Mama and Papa were
" (I was taking ...)" = don't need the parenthesis; it reads well as part of the story line
"I commanded ,in ..."= no comma
"It held all my belongings, including my sleeping mat and cover, with ease."
= It held all my belongings with ease, including ..."
(move "with ease")
"I then realized we were" = I suddenly realized we were
"Then she shook her self..." = herself (one word)
"The wind was loud and fierce, sand blew and blew, at"
The wind was loud and fierce. Sand blew ferociously. At times... (break up into sentences)
Good girl Clara, thank you = Good girl, Clara. Thank you
move the comma, make into two sentences
"I looked around, the" = I looked around. The
Could you put in your author's notes about a Bactrian camel?
Please take care.
mb
Comment Written 13-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the great comments and edits. I had fixed most of them by the time I read your review. I will also add some additional info about the Bactrain camel. You might enjoy the first story of Clara as well. (A camel named Clara) I appreciate your thoroughness and will make additional changes per your notes. :-)Carolyn
Comment from manicblue
This was a nice adventure story, leaving the reader wanting to know more. I noted some SPAG (spelling, grammar and punctuation) to fix. It reads well and I'm so glad Abbeed had his father's compass to find his way to Saheed's home. Once it's polished a bit, please let me know and I'll change the rating to five.
mb
"Mama and Papa was" = Mama and Papa were
" (I was taking ...)" = don't need the parenthesis; it reads well as part of the story line
"I commanded ,in ..."= no comma
"It held all my belongings, including my sleeping mat and cover, with ease."
= It held all my belongings with ease, including ..."
(move "with ease")
"I then realized we were" = I suddenly realized we were
"Then she shook her self..." = herself (one word)
"The wind was loud and fierce, sand blew and blew, at"
The wind was loud and fierce. Sand blew ferociously. At times... (break up into sentences)
Good girl Clara, thank you = Good girl, Clara. Thank you
move the comma, make into two sentences
"I looked around, the" = I looked around. The
Could you put in your author's notes about a Bactrian camel?
Please take care.
mb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
|
This was a nice adventure story, leaving the reader wanting to know more. I noted some SPAG (spelling, grammar and punctuation) to fix. It reads well and I'm so glad Abbeed had his father's compass to find his way to Saheed's home. Once it's polished a bit, please let me know and I'll change the rating to five.
mb
"Mama and Papa was" = Mama and Papa were
" (I was taking ...)" = don't need the parenthesis; it reads well as part of the story line
"I commanded ,in ..."= no comma
"It held all my belongings, including my sleeping mat and cover, with ease."
= It held all my belongings with ease, including ..."
(move "with ease")
"I then realized we were" = I suddenly realized we were
"Then she shook her self..." = herself (one word)
"The wind was loud and fierce, sand blew and blew, at"
The wind was loud and fierce. Sand blew ferociously. At times... (break up into sentences)
Good girl Clara, thank you = Good girl, Clara. Thank you
move the comma, make into two sentences
"I looked around, the" = I looked around. The
Could you put in your author's notes about a Bactrian camel?
Please take care.
mb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
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Thanks, I received two reviews. :-) Carolyn
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FS is playing head games with me. I went to your page to try and post it there - oops - no dice. lol I'm sorry!