Bewitched
A child's worst nightmare, is not to be believed15 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
spooky description of the picture and how it transforms
You also depict well Tyra's terror during this situation
are you sure you're ex - your
Ghost busters, do your stuff - add comma for direct address
heart felt moments - heartfelt
a most dramatic story with excellent dialogue
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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spooky description of the picture and how it transforms
You also depict well Tyra's terror during this situation
are you sure you're ex - your
Ghost busters, do your stuff - add comma for direct address
heart felt moments - heartfelt
a most dramatic story with excellent dialogue
Brooke
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Brooke, I'll go back and make those changes. I'm glad you liked the dialogue.
Comment from akulkumol
Nice narrative style, loved reading the story..... The description was so beautiful everything seemed so real..... After long period enjoyed a beautiful story..... Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Nice narrative style, loved reading the story..... The description was so beautiful everything seemed so real..... After long period enjoyed a beautiful story..... Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Thank you akulkumpl.
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece reminds me of when I was little, I used to be afraid of the dark and my brother Daryle told me to say there is no such thing a ghosts five times and an invisible force-field would protect me from everything. I think back to then and I just laugh. This piece has clear dialogue, strong emotion and good transition. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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This piece reminds me of when I was little, I used to be afraid of the dark and my brother Daryle told me to say there is no such thing a ghosts five times and an invisible force-field would protect me from everything. I think back to then and I just laugh. This piece has clear dialogue, strong emotion and good transition. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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That's funny Riter. Thanks for reading me.
Comment from Jason75S
Best story I've read in days. Worthy of Steven King. The fear of the little girl was very effectively conveyed and the dismay of the mother suddenly realizing she blew her daugher off, the guilt and panick made it seem very real. I can't put my finger on it but some of the dialogue in the middle seemed a little flat but overall great story!
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Best story I've read in days. Worthy of Steven King. The fear of the little girl was very effectively conveyed and the dismay of the mother suddenly realizing she blew her daugher off, the guilt and panick made it seem very real. I can't put my finger on it but some of the dialogue in the middle seemed a little flat but overall great story!
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Thank you Scott. I really appreciate you reading me and this review. I don't know how to correct the dialogue since you were not specific but I'll read it again. Thanks for the high rating.
Comment from Sam Mendonca
A very well written entry for th "Ther's No Such Things as Ghosts" contest.
You did a very nice write using very good descriptive and emotional writing.
Good luck in the contest. (Smiles)
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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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A very well written entry for th "Ther's No Such Things as Ghosts" contest.
You did a very nice write using very good descriptive and emotional writing.
Good luck in the contest. (Smiles)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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thank you,