Love
How would you define it?16 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
An interesting form and well handled by you. A worthy contender for the contest, both in terms of content and of layout. Your second triplet is lovely:
"Holding her soft hands
Trembling from our first kiss
Passion that consumes my soul"
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An interesting form and well handled by you. A worthy contender for the contest, both in terms of content and of layout. Your second triplet is lovely:
"Holding her soft hands
Trembling from our first kiss
Passion that consumes my soul"
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from simonbagh
Passion that consumes my soul
we are created in a sort that the whole we do seek love or making love, so it is inevitable to miss or enjoy not the heavenly beauty, a very delicate and soul stroking piece
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Passion that consumes my soul
we are created in a sort that the whole we do seek love or making love, so it is inevitable to miss or enjoy not the heavenly beauty, a very delicate and soul stroking piece
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from akulkumol
Nice description of first discovery of love. First totally lost in midst of magical moments than stabilizing as being found. Lovely poem loved reading it.
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Nice description of first discovery of love. First totally lost in midst of magical moments than stabilizing as being found. Lovely poem loved reading it.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from Jackarrie
A very nice Clarity Pyramid about love, it covers all the prompt perfectly.
"I was lost, but now I am found"
this line sums up the whole poem.
Well done good luck in the contest. Mary
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A very nice Clarity Pyramid about love, it covers all the prompt perfectly.
"I was lost, but now I am found"
this line sums up the whole poem.
Well done good luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
I feel that you can develop your theme more effectively by developing the three words in the first stanza. Alone they do very little and your restrictiveness is not the word count, but the lines. Sorry, but I just feel you can do so much more with this.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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I feel that you can develop your theme more effectively by developing the three words in the first stanza. Alone they do very little and your restrictiveness is not the word count, but the lines. Sorry, but I just feel you can do so much more with this.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Jay. I am a little confused though. This is my first attempt at a Clarity Pyramid poem. I don't usually write poetry, and I tried to follow the directions and examples in the prompt.
How can I do as you suggest within the rules given in the contest?
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I'm not a poet either, so in a way it's the blind leading the blind. What I meant was since you can have as many words as you want in the first three lines, why limit yourself to one word for each of the first three lines?
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Oh, I see. No, you can't have as many words as you want. The first three lines have to be: 1 syllable, 2 syllables and then 3 syllables only.
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Oh-oh! Sorry!
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
Someone else in our lives makes us complete. Its simple, its pure if its meant to be and with happiness you most defiantly found yourself the peaceful person not filled with insecurities. God Bless Terrie.
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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Someone else in our lives makes us complete. Its simple, its pure if its meant to be and with happiness you most defiantly found yourself the peaceful person not filled with insecurities. God Bless Terrie.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I completely agree.