The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Observations and Introductions"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
17 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
I like your story, guess murder stories are always popular. This detective seems to be on the ball and the Bard is an interesting character, too. Good narrative and dialogue and enjoyable read. Faye
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I like your story, guess murder stories are always popular. This detective seems to be on the ball and the Bard is an interesting character, too. Good narrative and dialogue and enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from Michaelk
A good chapter. Nice pacing. I'm curious if the bard is about to show the detective a revelation, or a red herring. I liked your Bruce Willis cameo, very nice. As for moby dick, quequag would be displeased with you. :) Good job, looking forward to the next chapter.
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A good chapter. Nice pacing. I'm curious if the bard is about to show the detective a revelation, or a red herring. I liked your Bruce Willis cameo, very nice. As for moby dick, quequag would be displeased with you. :) Good job, looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
The funeral is a good place to start. First, keep a record of who is at the funeral Then mingle and listen. Ask a few innocent questions. The guilty are usually smart enough to attend. The work begins. Great work.
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The funeral is a good place to start. First, keep a record of who is at the funeral Then mingle and listen. Ask a few innocent questions. The guilty are usually smart enough to attend. The work begins. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from Millibrad
Love the poem. Good alliteration with "pretty pistol packing, Harpster's Harp, doctor draped."
I like how this is shaping up and suspect it won't be long before Detective Adrian begins getting pressured to back off.
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Love the poem. Good alliteration with "pretty pistol packing, Harpster's Harp, doctor draped."
I like how this is shaping up and suspect it won't be long before Detective Adrian begins getting pressured to back off.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Don't be in any hurry. Write this at your pace and not to satisfy the site. You are developing the characters perfectly and the story has a good pace. This isn't the end of the world like your last piece. No hurry. So far so good. Lovethe two main characters. Give each new charcter the same attention. NG
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Don't be in any hurry. Write this at your pace and not to satisfy the site. You are developing the characters perfectly and the story has a good pace. This isn't the end of the world like your last piece. No hurry. So far so good. Lovethe two main characters. Give each new charcter the same attention. NG
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is a very good use of opportunity to further understanding of these two characters. Explaining mental illness also good strategy.For those who are unenlightened, it will help them understand Bard and for those who are enlightened, recognition of some of the survival ploys of this population will validate. I'm sucked in, perhaps because of years of working with mental illness. or maybe due to being a bit off center me-self.
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This is a very good use of opportunity to further understanding of these two characters. Explaining mental illness also good strategy.For those who are unenlightened, it will help them understand Bard and for those who are enlightened, recognition of some of the survival ploys of this population will validate. I'm sucked in, perhaps because of years of working with mental illness. or maybe due to being a bit off center me-self.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
He looked out of place in more ways than one. He looked human for one thing. << Excellent!
I already love the Bard, as you want us too. Good character work on him. I can't wait to hear what he has to say. And I love the fact he's mentally ill.
Bruce Willis is one of my favorite actors... good choice. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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He looked out of place in more ways than one. He looked human for one thing. << Excellent!
I already love the Bard, as you want us too. Good character work on him. I can't wait to hear what he has to say. And I love the fact he's mentally ill.
Bruce Willis is one of my favorite actors... good choice. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014