Short Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Forest"A Collection Of Short Form Poetry
24 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This is an excellent Tanka and a powerful message for us to wake up and stop the destruction of our forests. Marvelous entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
  |
This is an excellent Tanka and a powerful message for us to wake up and stop the destruction of our forests. Marvelous entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Yes, I agree, it is shameful that countries are allowing the Rainforests to be deforested. Your words are effective and powerful to promote the message of the poem. Apt illustration, good luck in the contest. Faye
|
Yes, I agree, it is shameful that countries are allowing the Rainforests to be deforested. Your words are effective and powerful to promote the message of the poem. Apt illustration, good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from krys123
Mikey, a prominent and powerful picture of a force and heirs according to your authors notes a force that once was a desert. Yet choking in the desolate air provided by man's consistent and irreparable damage to the air the four strains breathing it. Your poem portrays, as in using imagery, The product of man's destruction of the atmosphere. Very inventive and creative this illuminative type of poetry shows to strengthen your writing. Thank you for sharing of posting this for others and may the sun always shine on your shoulders.
Alex
|
Mikey, a prominent and powerful picture of a force and heirs according to your authors notes a force that once was a desert. Yet choking in the desolate air provided by man's consistent and irreparable damage to the air the four strains breathing it. Your poem portrays, as in using imagery, The product of man's destruction of the atmosphere. Very inventive and creative this illuminative type of poetry shows to strengthen your writing. Thank you for sharing of posting this for others and may the sun always shine on your shoulders.
Alex
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from pattipac
Mike, you make a powerful statement in this poem about what may soon happen if our world does not wake-up and do something about cleaning up the atmosphere. The good old U.S.A, is in a race with China when it comes to pollution.
|
Mike, you make a powerful statement in this poem about what may soon happen if our world does not wake-up and do something about cleaning up the atmosphere. The good old U.S.A, is in a race with China when it comes to pollution.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I'm not too sure what traditional tanka style is, so maybe I shouldn't review this. I did think it evoked the feeling of the forest in words, in a very unique, perhaps "experimental" format.
|
I'm not too sure what traditional tanka style is, so maybe I shouldn't review this. I did think it evoked the feeling of the forest in words, in a very unique, perhaps "experimental" format.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from Hadria
It's traditional Mikey Tanka style! I like the words, I totally agree with the sentiment but in all honesty I find the formatting detracts from the effect of the words. It is all too fiddly and fussy, and does not coordinate with the picture, which is clear and strong. Try sticking with the Forest green and font size of the first line - maybe in italic.......see what you think? Hadria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
 |
It's traditional Mikey Tanka style! I like the words, I totally agree with the sentiment but in all honesty I find the formatting detracts from the effect of the words. It is all too fiddly and fussy, and does not coordinate with the picture, which is clear and strong. Try sticking with the Forest green and font size of the first line - maybe in italic.......see what you think? Hadria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
-
Hi. I did start off with it that way. I just like to experiment with the fonts and colors for visual effect. So, far your the only 4!! People seem to like it like this. Maybe if I get another four, I'll change it. Hahaha. Fiddly and fussy is a great description. I know exactly what you mean! mikey
Comment from catch22
Hi Mikey, I like the message of stewardship in this poem. I'm not crazy about the pivot line which I don't feel holds the poem together enough. The poem's presentation is excellent and you use lots if alliteration to give the poem rhythm. Overall, it's pretty good. I would just reconsider the pivot.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
|
Hi Mikey, I like the message of stewardship in this poem. I'm not crazy about the pivot line which I don't feel holds the poem together enough. The poem's presentation is excellent and you use lots if alliteration to give the poem rhythm. Overall, it's pretty good. I would just reconsider the pivot.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
-
Hi. I looked at it and agreed. I changed it somewhat. Thanks for the tip! mikey
-
I like it better now but I think you're a syllable short...thanks for considering my suggestion:)
-
Thank you! Changed to "breezes". I'm glad you told me, I wasn't even thinking about it. Hahaha
Comment from nelliesellie
II love the picture. I love the poem. We are destroying mile after mile of woo Animals are not the only ones that need the forests. The woods create clean air for human beings. Great work.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
|
II love the picture. I love the poem. We are destroying mile after mile of woo Animals are not the only ones that need the forests. The woods create clean air for human beings. Great work.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
-
Glad you liked this and received the intended message. Yes, for us too. I am afraid that once we are gone then the earth will do fine! mikey
Comment from Green Lake Girl
As always, I thoroughly enjoy your poetry, Mikey. You sum up a dire situation very well in an economy of words. I'd like to think we're making progress. Young kids are learning much more about the environment in school. But those in the here and now need to make some radical changes.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
|
As always, I thoroughly enjoy your poetry, Mikey. You sum up a dire situation very well in an economy of words. I'd like to think we're making progress. Young kids are learning much more about the environment in school. But those in the here and now need to make some radical changes.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
-
So true. I don't understand why everyone sits by and watches. But, I guess humans as a group don't do well. Hopefully, it will sink in before it's too late. mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
This is in very good form. The haiku is an excellent stand alone piece. The pivot is perfect. The forest dies and turns into a desert strewn with dead trees. Great use of color to visually represent the images. NG
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
|
This is in very good form. The haiku is an excellent stand alone piece. The pivot is perfect. The forest dies and turns into a desert strewn with dead trees. Great use of color to visually represent the images. NG
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
-
So pleased you enjoyed the presentation. Always trying to push the rules!!