The Eighth Day
Short Story-Horror Contest Entry21 total reviews
Comment from nor84
Well now I know there's no need for ME to enter this contest. It will be between you and Dean, if he's entering. Great job. I only have one comment, and that is that you're tending to explain the dialog. Don't. The reader gets it. For example:
"Get them!" is adamant without adding 'she seemed adamant.
"Pull over. NOW!" is clearly Loretta 'indicating that she wished Diode to pull off the road'.
Still, great little horror tale.
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Well now I know there's no need for ME to enter this contest. It will be between you and Dean, if he's entering. Great job. I only have one comment, and that is that you're tending to explain the dialog. Don't. The reader gets it. For example:
"Get them!" is adamant without adding 'she seemed adamant.
"Pull over. NOW!" is clearly Loretta 'indicating that she wished Diode to pull off the road'.
Still, great little horror tale.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
"Not tooooo scary, but I was told that this is a "horror" story.". We shall see, Mikey. We shall see...
Of course, the very definition of the word horror is subjective to the one who's being horrified, is it not; the one who's actually doing the reading? Something may terrify one person with an extreme sensitivity to all things...well, horrific, while those who are used to the genre and all the dark, creepy-crawly things that dwell within may not feel so inclined.
Well, since men as well as women can give birth to these uniscorns, one could certainly see how mankind could conceivably be eradicated from the planet quite easily, efficiently and completely. And we thought cockroaches were bad!
Very interesting terror tale, Mikey. I liked the originality and uniqueness of it. Sort of War of the Worlds meets the Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Good luck to you in the contest.
~5 out of 5 skulls~
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"Not tooooo scary, but I was told that this is a "horror" story.". We shall see, Mikey. We shall see...
Of course, the very definition of the word horror is subjective to the one who's being horrified, is it not; the one who's actually doing the reading? Something may terrify one person with an extreme sensitivity to all things...well, horrific, while those who are used to the genre and all the dark, creepy-crawly things that dwell within may not feel so inclined.
Well, since men as well as women can give birth to these uniscorns, one could certainly see how mankind could conceivably be eradicated from the planet quite easily, efficiently and completely. And we thought cockroaches were bad!
Very interesting terror tale, Mikey. I liked the originality and uniqueness of it. Sort of War of the Worlds meets the Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Good luck to you in the contest.
~5 out of 5 skulls~
Comment Written 23-May-2014
Comment from Sankey
Was this a horror story or a comedy? haha!
Not sure about the UNicorn or uniscorn hm!!
Some Spags or? The creature already named a Uniscorned?? is it a Unicorn or what?
A couple (of) cars
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Was this a horror story or a comedy? haha!
Not sure about the UNicorn or uniscorn hm!!
Some Spags or? The creature already named a Uniscorned?? is it a Unicorn or what?
A couple (of) cars
Comment Written 23-May-2014
Comment from country ranch writer
okay now you have to come hold back the chills of the night so they do not come to frighten us poor old souls here in the warmth of the Fla shores.
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okay now you have to come hold back the chills of the night so they do not come to frighten us poor old souls here in the warmth of the Fla shores.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
Comment from CR Delport
Whenever there is humans involved, it might as well be a horror story. What we do to this planet is a horror story. This is well written. Good luck.
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Whenever there is humans involved, it might as well be a horror story. What we do to this planet is a horror story. This is well written. Good luck.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is one crazy story and would make a fun Hitchcock film. This surely followed a night of drinking. That being said, it is creative and suggests to me with the ignorance of humans, this may be the only way the planet might me healed.
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This is one crazy story and would make a fun Hitchcock film. This surely followed a night of drinking. That being said, it is creative and suggests to me with the ignorance of humans, this may be the only way the planet might me healed.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Oh my this is so original and good. It takes us self important humans and makes after thoughts out of us!!! YES! Ooops. Lets eliminate that little error and carry on. Love the tone of this. Very chilling in its disregard for our own omportance. Well done. NG
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Oh my this is so original and good. It takes us self important humans and makes after thoughts out of us!!! YES! Ooops. Lets eliminate that little error and carry on. Love the tone of this. Very chilling in its disregard for our own omportance. Well done. NG
Comment Written 22-May-2014
Comment from SLHarper
Wonderful, Mikey! I am so amazed by how much writing you are able to pump out! The "horror" part of this story comes in the form of the unsettling mixture of cuteness and sheer insanity leading to the demise of humanity. No gore. No suffering on a global scale. Just "sayonara..." Blue planet flourishes... Best of luck in the contest! Steph
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Wonderful, Mikey! I am so amazed by how much writing you are able to pump out! The "horror" part of this story comes in the form of the unsettling mixture of cuteness and sheer insanity leading to the demise of humanity. No gore. No suffering on a global scale. Just "sayonara..." Blue planet flourishes... Best of luck in the contest! Steph
Comment Written 22-May-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. It is almost biblical. It as a wise title. The Eighth day. I believe mankind will be responsible for its own destruction long before they can destroy earth.
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I love the story. It is almost biblical. It as a wise title. The Eighth day. I believe mankind will be responsible for its own destruction long before they can destroy earth.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Michael, you've done it! You've combined humor and horror, adorableness, the love of a mamma for her "children" and later the love of a pappa for his own birthed children; finally it was the love of the planet for all their birthed children.
I think you truly have a winner here, Michael.
Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Michael, you've done it! You've combined humor and horror, adorableness, the love of a mamma for her "children" and later the love of a pappa for his own birthed children; finally it was the love of the planet for all their birthed children.
I think you truly have a winner here, Michael.
Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2014