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The Trining

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "REHEARSING THE LIE"
A man must discover his identity and destiny.

15 total reviews 
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Jay,
Now your story is moving on very well Glad that Doctrex met his brother.

Now I wonder if Doctrex is going to get involved with the council and as you said--
I was sure he wondered where in the world I was going with all this. I wasn't sure myself--yet.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
    Oh, you won't guess, Gert. Thanks so much for your 6 Star tribute. I honor it.
reply by Gert sherwood on 01-Jun-2014
    Hi Jay
    Question what do you think (I won't guess)
    sounds like you think I should know?

    You are welcome for the 6 rating.

    Gert
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
    Oh, no, Gert! I don't think you or any one else, who has offered guesses as what will happen, knows. I ain't a tellin, neither... LOL. All I can say is there are a lot more twists and turns before the entire story (three book's-worth) is told.
reply by Gert sherwood on 01-Jun-2014
    Hi Jay good I don't have to guess.

    Good I like twist and turns

    Gert
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The writer in me tells me Doctrex is being guided by the Attila's. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
    Thanks, Charlie for coming back once again. Um ... Attila's, as in the Hun? Or Axtilla who is Doctrex's hon? Appreciate your input, Charlie.
reply by c_lucas on 01-Jun-2014
    Axtilla, whether she likes it or not is bonded to Doctrex.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Excellent
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My interest is piqued by this other part of Doctrex that seems to be emerging to control his thoughts and actions. Could it be suppressed memories? I'll have to wait and see.

'Rounding a hallway corner ahead and coming toward us at a fast clip was a tall man with a bald head, except for a fringe the size on an index finger just above his ears.'

It's the above kind of detail that sets your writing apart from the average, Jay.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
    Ah, Bev, you really know how to torque a fella's pride! Thank you. I just know I spent a lot of descriptive energy on a minor character. Ah, suppressed memories ... that's a thought. Bev, you are an asset to my writing here. Thank you so much.
reply by Writingfundimension on 01-Jun-2014
    You're very welcome, Jay. :)
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
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I am starting to see that Doctorex can lie at the drop of a hat. I realize he is doing this for his own survival and to gain answers to some questions, but he's starting to remind me of a writer. LOL. Liked the way he notes everything and everyone around him. I really like Klasco. His character intrigues me and makes me wonder if he is going to release some information on his strange oldest daughter. Great job.

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 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
    Bless you, Gretchen. Yes, Klasco is a deeper person than he might appear to some. Though it's not germane to this plot, I think it hurts him as much as it does Doctrex to lie. Don't forget Doctrex continues to berate himself for being a fraud. It doesn't stop him. We might see the effects of lying on Klasco. Then again... lol. Thanks for your kind words and stars.
Comment from DanielEkine
Excellent
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An applause to the author. Brilliant use of length and SPAG.
""I don't know Chief of Police. You were the Chief Magistrate."

I added Chief Magistrate to my rehearsal. "You forgot to mention it? Thanks."

My sarcasm didn't penetrate his demeanor. "You're welcome."

The receptionist returned, holding open the door. "You may go in, now." My best part. It works so well. SPAG is happy with your execution. I am in love with this piece.

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 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
    Thank you so much, Daniel. I hope you're not gonna be a one night stand. Please come back for the next half of this chapter. The Trining welcomes true love!
reply by DanielEkine on 01-Jun-2014
    Definitely.