Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 67 "Ih'e Moon"Murder Mystery
45 total reviews
Comment from kleck140
Your writing intrigues me. I want to learn how to
write the dialogue as well as you do. I keep coming
back and try to read each chapter. Although I like
subtle romance, your writing keeps me coming back for more.
You inspire me to write more too. Thanks. EL
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2014
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Your writing intrigues me. I want to learn how to
write the dialogue as well as you do. I keep coming
back and try to read each chapter. Although I like
subtle romance, your writing keeps me coming back for more.
You inspire me to write more too. Thanks. EL
Comment Written 23-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2014
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What a compliment, El. Thank you much for your gracious and very generous review. Every writer has a unique voice, and I have always enjoyed your writing. Warmest regards, Bev
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Thanks for your quick reply!
Comment from Jay Squires
This is an excellent chapter, as I'm getting so used to from you, Bev. Your dialogue is to the point and blends well with the narrative that supports it. You don't over-use dialogue tags.
Your action started slow but built to the scene change where Rick became the POV character. Since he was the chased, it helped move the plot briskly forward. The fact that he's obeying a voice alludes to his state of mind, which made him a ready subject for Father Brian.
The final cliff-hanger scene has whom the reader assumes is Father Brian, creeping out of the shadows, a soul to save.
Great chapter, Bev. No discernible spag.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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This is an excellent chapter, as I'm getting so used to from you, Bev. Your dialogue is to the point and blends well with the narrative that supports it. You don't over-use dialogue tags.
Your action started slow but built to the scene change where Rick became the POV character. Since he was the chased, it helped move the plot briskly forward. The fact that he's obeying a voice alludes to his state of mind, which made him a ready subject for Father Brian.
The final cliff-hanger scene has whom the reader assumes is Father Brian, creeping out of the shadows, a soul to save.
Great chapter, Bev. No discernible spag.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Jay. I appreciate your in-depth review and letting me know what you elements you felt worked. It's always helpful to get that kind of feedback! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
I am so impressed, Bev, with how you've continually developed the plot, not to mention your great use of dialogue. I especially like the last section about Rick and the cliffhanger sentence at the very end. Can't wait to read what's next--sounds like you are starting to wind things up.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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I am so impressed, Bev, with how you've continually developed the plot, not to mention your great use of dialogue. I especially like the last section about Rick and the cliffhanger sentence at the very end. Can't wait to read what's next--sounds like you are starting to wind things up.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Hi, Connie. Yes, I am winding this novel up in the next two chapter, I hope. Depends on the demands of my muse, of course LoL. I so appreciate this grand and very generous review. Thanks for the encouragement, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Erik McGinley
A fairly atmospheric read.
The emotions and interactions come across well in the upper part and the lower part is ok. It seems just a bit lack lustre, as if Rick is to dispassionate about things, but that may be misinterpreting an already developed character that I don't know the nature of.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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A fairly atmospheric read.
The emotions and interactions come across well in the upper part and the lower part is ok. It seems just a bit lack lustre, as if Rick is to dispassionate about things, but that may be misinterpreting an already developed character that I don't know the nature of.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Thank you much, Erik.
Comment from Sankey
Hi there. I am knew to your story. Came here from an advert on FS. Noticing I am way ahead and looks like I have to go right back to the start to get the run of all this. Plenty of suspense and drama looks like. No Spags which is good. Hope we meet again. Been in FS a year this month. Take care.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Hi there. I am knew to your story. Came here from an advert on FS. Noticing I am way ahead and looks like I have to go right back to the start to get the run of all this. Plenty of suspense and drama looks like. No Spags which is good. Hope we meet again. Been in FS a year this month. Take care.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Thank you for taking time to read and review, Sankey. :)
Comment from Drew Delaney
Looks like an intriguing story here. This is the only chapter I have read so far, but I am certainly drawn in. I like detective stories and who dun its. I have not noticed any errors or changes that could be made so that make it an excellent read.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Looks like an intriguing story here. This is the only chapter I have read so far, but I am certainly drawn in. I like detective stories and who dun its. I have not noticed any errors or changes that could be made so that make it an excellent read.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much, Drew, for taking time to read and review. I appreciate your review! :)
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Bev - This is a fabulous post for your story. Great imagery that holds me at the edge of my seat. Partly because I am not usually this keen on this genre - and believe me you've scared me out of my wits - yet I keep coming back. That is the greatest gift I can give....your writing pulls me back time and time again.
Excellent writing, strong expressive images and emotion. Great suspenseful plot strategy as well.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Dear Bev - This is a fabulous post for your story. Great imagery that holds me at the edge of my seat. Partly because I am not usually this keen on this genre - and believe me you've scared me out of my wits - yet I keep coming back. That is the greatest gift I can give....your writing pulls me back time and time again.
Excellent writing, strong expressive images and emotion. Great suspenseful plot strategy as well.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Maureen, thank you so very much for this very encouraging and gracious review. I appreciate how loyal you've been in reading the story considering the way this type of story affects you.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from robina1978
I missed some chapters I think. This one seems to be near the end. They wonder if Jana is not going to protect her uncle but think she won't.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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I missed some chapters I think. This one seems to be near the end. They wonder if Jana is not going to protect her uncle but think she won't.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Ine. I really appreciate your encouraging review.
:) Bev
Comment from Cin
Another brilliant chapter - the action is so well paced it keeps the reader riveted to the page. I can't wait to read what happens next.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Another brilliant chapter - the action is so well paced it keeps the reader riveted to the page. I can't wait to read what happens next.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Hi, Cin. Thanks so much for this awesome review. I'm glad you liked the chapter! :) Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Good job sgsin with your story line. The feds are still looking for Danika and then Derek finds out from Jana that Pearce is dead and rick is the mole. Rick is using danika as a bargaining chip. Good stuff!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Good job sgsin with your story line. The feds are still looking for Danika and then Derek finds out from Jana that Pearce is dead and rick is the mole. Rick is using danika as a bargaining chip. Good stuff!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, BG. I really appreciate your generosity and support. :) Bev