Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Reflection on life"A book of Poetry & Writing
121 total reviews
Comment from gazzagodbod
what a great question finish in your final line beautifully presented and gw is my initials lol loved it thank you xxgazzaxx
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
  |
what a great question finish in your final line beautifully presented and gw is my initials lol loved it thank you xxgazzaxx
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
thank you
Comment from ElegantButler
The pain of having a root canal wide awake is like being pinched compared to the agony of a lover's betrayal. This poem tells that feeling with perfection. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
The pain of having a root canal wide awake is like being pinched compared to the agony of a lover's betrayal. This poem tells that feeling with perfection. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
thank you
Comment from Josipher32
This poem entitled, Writings from the Heart is a great read!
If it rhymed, did the rhymes seem forced? Flowed and made sense
Did the structure make sense? yes
Did it draw on your emotions? This line did: Discarded vows, for greener promised lands,
Did it present strong images? yes
Would you recommend it to someone else? yes
Format correct?
yes
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
This poem entitled, Writings from the Heart is a great read!
If it rhymed, did the rhymes seem forced? Flowed and made sense
Did the structure make sense? yes
Did it draw on your emotions? This line did: Discarded vows, for greener promised lands,
Did it present strong images? yes
Would you recommend it to someone else? yes
Format correct?
yes
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
thank yoou
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good overview of an imperfect life and relationship, but most lives are imperfect and have regrets galore. Nice note at the end...provides some hope, anyway.
The following commas are incorrect and should be removed:
>>Distrust and heartache, are things we live through
Reason: separates subject from its predicate, a big no-no.
>>My trust is the nightmare, that played us a-part
Reason: Never use a comma before THAT for it changes the meaning. The word WHICH is the one that needs the comma, and has a different meaning from THAT.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
Good overview of an imperfect life and relationship, but most lives are imperfect and have regrets galore. Nice note at the end...provides some hope, anyway.
The following commas are incorrect and should be removed:
>>Distrust and heartache, are things we live through
Reason: separates subject from its predicate, a big no-no.
>>My trust is the nightmare, that played us a-part
Reason: Never use a comma before THAT for it changes the meaning. The word WHICH is the one that needs the comma, and has a different meaning from THAT.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
thank you
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Well,This reads and scans super. I personally like the lines with commas in the middle. It is a heartfelt reflection, one that many can heed. padumachitta
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
Hi. Well,This reads and scans super. I personally like the lines with commas in the middle. It is a heartfelt reflection, one that many can heed. padumachitta
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
thank you
Comment from jadapenn
A deep poem of bygone days and reminiscence of things as they were. Time is constantly ticking by with new inventions coming onto the market and new changes to embrace. I guess the world was dormant for many centuries and now things are progressing too fast. We can't keep up. Well penned. I enjoyed. luv jada
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
A deep poem of bygone days and reminiscence of things as they were. Time is constantly ticking by with new inventions coming onto the market and new changes to embrace. I guess the world was dormant for many centuries and now things are progressing too fast. We can't keep up. Well penned. I enjoyed. luv jada
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
thanks Jada
Comment from Cedar
This is very well written. Your rhyming and flow are both perfect. Also, your poem delivers a strong message to your readers, especially the fourth line.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
This is very well written. Your rhyming and flow are both perfect. Also, your poem delivers a strong message to your readers, especially the fourth line.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for this
Comment from Andrewajgblue
A really nicely written poem, no one knows what is around the corner, and after so many disappointments sometimes it's a blessing! Some great wording and excellent rhyme, I really enjoyed it, well done ,
Andrew
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
A really nicely written poem, no one knows what is around the corner, and after so many disappointments sometimes it's a blessing! Some great wording and excellent rhyme, I really enjoyed it, well done ,
Andrew
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
Thank you
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
Nicely done, well written. The teaching of life's lessons can be bitter and sometimes even sweet but guessing at them can get pretty tricky. I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
|
Nicely done, well written. The teaching of life's lessons can be bitter and sometimes even sweet but guessing at them can get pretty tricky. I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
-
thank you
Comment from Lovinia
H deepwater
Your poem hits the spot, something which is on my own mind and a poem of similar insight is forming under my own pen. I guess e reflect many times on our life as time passes .... more so as we grow older and some of what we longed and dreamed for has passed us by, hardship has taken some of the freedom and gaiety from our lives. Our trust has been betrayed, too many cheaters out for their own gain, our honour tested, inexplicable cruelty, tragedy near and far from our shores, yet directly affecting us and our community and beliefs. Your poem can be viewed at many levels, first-hand to afar, on a personal level to what happens around us, yet we are all affected by the steps of others.
Despite all, the optimist still seeks the surprise that will give him/her the will to move on and let the past remain as its own nightmare, with hope for a future of our own design. We don't always get 'the forever' we may wish or long for, however we do have a choice in how we react. Our reflections on life can turn us sour or we can choose to make lemonade ... our future path is a new canvass.
I love your poem and it has given me much to ponder on. A poem that makes the reader think is one of my favourite forms. Your rhyme/near rhyme works well, with smooth flow/ Great questioning. I've waffled on a bit, though I could spend hours on this poem reading, re-reading and taking more from it each time I read. You have conveyed so much in succinct, eloquent language which evokes strong emotions and permits the reader to take the poem both on face value and delve into the deeper layers. To me, an outstanding piece of work. Well done. Warm regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
 |
H deepwater
Your poem hits the spot, something which is on my own mind and a poem of similar insight is forming under my own pen. I guess e reflect many times on our life as time passes .... more so as we grow older and some of what we longed and dreamed for has passed us by, hardship has taken some of the freedom and gaiety from our lives. Our trust has been betrayed, too many cheaters out for their own gain, our honour tested, inexplicable cruelty, tragedy near and far from our shores, yet directly affecting us and our community and beliefs. Your poem can be viewed at many levels, first-hand to afar, on a personal level to what happens around us, yet we are all affected by the steps of others.
Despite all, the optimist still seeks the surprise that will give him/her the will to move on and let the past remain as its own nightmare, with hope for a future of our own design. We don't always get 'the forever' we may wish or long for, however we do have a choice in how we react. Our reflections on life can turn us sour or we can choose to make lemonade ... our future path is a new canvass.
I love your poem and it has given me much to ponder on. A poem that makes the reader think is one of my favourite forms. Your rhyme/near rhyme works well, with smooth flow/ Great questioning. I've waffled on a bit, though I could spend hours on this poem reading, re-reading and taking more from it each time I read. You have conveyed so much in succinct, eloquent language which evokes strong emotions and permits the reader to take the poem both on face value and delve into the deeper layers. To me, an outstanding piece of work. Well done. Warm regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 03-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
-
thank you again
-
My pleasure. A most enjoyable read first up this morning. :)