The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Once More My Love (Part 1)"Love Among the Thorns
32 total reviews
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Nice story.I daresay our mothers tended to forgive their men more readily than women nowadays but forgiveness and healing of relationships is, perhaps, a very personal thing. Well done. Makes a captivating read.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Nice story.I daresay our mothers tended to forgive their men more readily than women nowadays but forgiveness and healing of relationships is, perhaps, a very personal thing. Well done. Makes a captivating read.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much.
Comment from TKField
Typo.. "Ten Oats".
I enjoyed your little melodrama here. Sort of a Downton Abbey feel to it, what with the illicit affair, and the heads cocking and the eyes rolling and sparkling and pleading and darting and dimming and wiggling and becoming narrow slits...there's no end to the things people's eyes do here.
This had a screenplay feel to it. You use a lot of stage directions, the aforementioned eyes of course, but also what the characters are doing with their heads, their hands, their arms, and their movements within the scene (she walked over to him, placed her hand on his shoulder).
I think it works for the most part and lends a certain intimacy to the proceedings. Be careful not to overdo it though. Remember...pacing, pacing. Keep it moving, pump up the drama, get to the action. I especially liked the cut from Grace crying to Nathan shagging Margaret. Very cinematic.
One question...why are are these women after this Nathan guy? Even Elizabeth appears ready to give him a tumble. He seems a bit of a drip, really. I mean, a vet? Flea tick epidemics notwithstanding, a vet just doesn't have the same kind of bodice ripping panache as say...a painter, a power hungry politician, a cavalry officer, a dashing financier, a people doctor, an unrepentant rogue, a cattle baron and oh, just about everything else. The match of this South Texas vet and the glamorous British heiress seems an odd match. I see trouble ahead, but maybe these two crazy kids can work it out.
This is a literary chick-flick that I hope delivers the goods, i.e lots of window fogging sex, ugly meltdowns, revenge, fisticuffs, gnashing of teeth, hands on foreheads,
madness, breakdowns and plagues of locusts. In other words, take a hammer to these characters and give them some depth as they face existential crisis. I'll be anxiously awaiting the big hoof and mouth scare as Margaret suffering in childbirth and Nathan is having it off with the downstairs maid. This is a soap opera, so keep the shocks and scandals coming.
I'll be keeping a darting, rolling, sparkling, pleading, dimming, wiggling, narrowing eye on this tome in the future.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Typo.. "Ten Oats".
I enjoyed your little melodrama here. Sort of a Downton Abbey feel to it, what with the illicit affair, and the heads cocking and the eyes rolling and sparkling and pleading and darting and dimming and wiggling and becoming narrow slits...there's no end to the things people's eyes do here.
This had a screenplay feel to it. You use a lot of stage directions, the aforementioned eyes of course, but also what the characters are doing with their heads, their hands, their arms, and their movements within the scene (she walked over to him, placed her hand on his shoulder).
I think it works for the most part and lends a certain intimacy to the proceedings. Be careful not to overdo it though. Remember...pacing, pacing. Keep it moving, pump up the drama, get to the action. I especially liked the cut from Grace crying to Nathan shagging Margaret. Very cinematic.
One question...why are are these women after this Nathan guy? Even Elizabeth appears ready to give him a tumble. He seems a bit of a drip, really. I mean, a vet? Flea tick epidemics notwithstanding, a vet just doesn't have the same kind of bodice ripping panache as say...a painter, a power hungry politician, a cavalry officer, a dashing financier, a people doctor, an unrepentant rogue, a cattle baron and oh, just about everything else. The match of this South Texas vet and the glamorous British heiress seems an odd match. I see trouble ahead, but maybe these two crazy kids can work it out.
This is a literary chick-flick that I hope delivers the goods, i.e lots of window fogging sex, ugly meltdowns, revenge, fisticuffs, gnashing of teeth, hands on foreheads,
madness, breakdowns and plagues of locusts. In other words, take a hammer to these characters and give them some depth as they face existential crisis. I'll be anxiously awaiting the big hoof and mouth scare as Margaret suffering in childbirth and Nathan is having it off with the downstairs maid. This is a soap opera, so keep the shocks and scandals coming.
I'll be keeping a darting, rolling, sparkling, pleading, dimming, wiggling, narrowing eye on this tome in the future.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to read this, TK. I really appreciated your time. I'm constantly editing this and taking suggestions from reviewers (like you) that are really helpful. When this book is finished, it will go to two pro editors, one for grammar and one for content. Margaret is not British royalty. She is a Texas girl who married a penniless Duke. Nineteen chapters before this one, shows why these women love him. He was quite a catch.
Comment from thee-name
Just a suggestion. Change the name THE ANIMAL DOCTOR. Have something like this: ONE MAN AND THREE LOVERS. Your chapter was good. Could understand it.
IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM, YOU'LL LEAVE HIM ALONE.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Just a suggestion. Change the name THE ANIMAL DOCTOR. Have something like this: ONE MAN AND THREE LOVERS. Your chapter was good. Could understand it.
IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM, YOU'LL LEAVE HIM ALONE.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, thee-name. I think I'll keep the title, Smile.
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THANK YOU!
Comment from mjac777
This was very nicely structured and written. Even though I only read this chapter, I was able to understand the story thus far. It held my interest and made me want to read more.
"All Creatures Great and Small" it's not. lol (Maybe an adult version)
Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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This was very nicely structured and written. Even though I only read this chapter, I was able to understand the story thus far. It held my interest and made me want to read more.
"All Creatures Great and Small" it's not. lol (Maybe an adult version)
Well done.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you, mijac. really appreciate it.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is another well written chapter in a nicely done story. I really wish Grace would wake up before it is too late. On the other hand, that would probably end the story much sooner than any of us want LOL. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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This is another well written chapter in a nicely done story. I really wish Grace would wake up before it is too late. On the other hand, that would probably end the story much sooner than any of us want LOL. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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And thank you for taking the time to read.
Comment from lindalcreel
Now I'm curious as to whether Grace will have second thoughts and whether Nate will make that train or not. I would love to see a showdown between the two women. Honestly I think Nate would choose Grace and the baby and that would light a fire under Margaret's butt. I can't help but despise her for all of the lives she's ruined though Nate certainly played his part. Why is it that a man has everything he needs and throws it all away? We'll see if these two can patch things up. I can see Grace standing in her doorway smiling telling Margaret that in the end he chose her. Maybe with Margaret out of the way, he could start to rebuild what he lost. Or maybe their will be another crisis with the animals and the town will need him to stay. Lots of possibilities.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Now I'm curious as to whether Grace will have second thoughts and whether Nate will make that train or not. I would love to see a showdown between the two women. Honestly I think Nate would choose Grace and the baby and that would light a fire under Margaret's butt. I can't help but despise her for all of the lives she's ruined though Nate certainly played his part. Why is it that a man has everything he needs and throws it all away? We'll see if these two can patch things up. I can see Grace standing in her doorway smiling telling Margaret that in the end he chose her. Maybe with Margaret out of the way, he could start to rebuild what he lost. Or maybe their will be another crisis with the animals and the town will need him to stay. Lots of possibilities.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I always look forward to your review, I really mean that. Thank you so much for hanging in there with this story. I hope you'll enjoy the ending.
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I am really enjoying this. It's so well done!
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I love your enthusiasm. I wish I had twenty like you. A lot of people who were following me has left the site, permanently or taking a break. I really miss them.
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I may be busy, but I'm never too busy to read good stories. I think reading makes you a better writer. I think the grading system here made a few people upset, so they went to other writers sites, but I am still learning everyday, so I intend to stay as long as I can.
Comment from pbroussard209
Great chapter you showed Nathan remorse well and his feelings regret came shining through. Margaret seems to have gotten what she wanted but now that Grace seems to be having second thoughts well I don't know what's going to happen. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Great chapter you showed Nathan remorse well and his feelings regret came shining through. Margaret seems to have gotten what she wanted but now that Grace seems to be having second thoughts well I don't know what's going to happen. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for reading my little story. I really appreciate it.
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you're welcome, I really like your story.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well written, but sad. I hope Grace relents and takes him back before he goes to England with that spoiled brat. Grace was not very forgiving and didn't even hear what he had to say. For her child's sake, she should at least have talked to him.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Well written, but sad. I hope Grace relents and takes him back before he goes to England with that spoiled brat. Grace was not very forgiving and didn't even hear what he had to say. For her child's sake, she should at least have talked to him.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I know, women can be so stubborn. Thank you Phyllis for hanging in with this story. My next book is my real love, fantasy fiction. Hope you'll like it.
Comment from lynglyng
I very much enjoyed reading this chapter. Very good story telling and details. I was very much drawn into the story and was sad when I read the last line. I want to read more.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I very much enjoyed reading this chapter. Very good story telling and details. I was very much drawn into the story and was sad when I read the last line. I want to read more.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you, lynglyng.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
I am hoping his car will speed in the direction of Grace. She cried, which means she has softened. I am disturbed that Nate is letting Margaret lead the way here . But that is my feelings.
You are doing a splendid job. The details of each part of the novel lends to easy imagery.
Congrats on completion of part 1,
Carolyn
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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I am hoping his car will speed in the direction of Grace. She cried, which means she has softened. I am disturbed that Nate is letting Margaret lead the way here . But that is my feelings.
You are doing a splendid job. The details of each part of the novel lends to easy imagery.
Congrats on completion of part 1,
Carolyn
Comment Written 20-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Carolyn. Grace is being stubborn and only I know why. LOL I know that was mean. But I'm so glad you are hanging in there with this story. I hope you'll appreciate the ending.