Blaze of Glory
A short baseball story36 total reviews
Comment from Patti R.
Hilarious, John!
A terrific short story. Written in the style of haibun, at least that's how it feels to me. An excellent take on the contest. You set the reader up by describing the line up of players. The coach, the drill sergeant. I dreaded each thwack, but didn't breathe when it came to Blaze's turn.
Father/son, no holds barred!
I would suggest that scarety-cat is scaredy-cat;
pudden head is puddin' head.
Good luck in the contest,
Patti
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Hilarious, John!
A terrific short story. Written in the style of haibun, at least that's how it feels to me. An excellent take on the contest. You set the reader up by describing the line up of players. The coach, the drill sergeant. I dreaded each thwack, but didn't breathe when it came to Blaze's turn.
Father/son, no holds barred!
I would suggest that scarety-cat is scaredy-cat;
pudden head is puddin' head.
Good luck in the contest,
Patti
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Patti, wow! ThAnk you for that sixer. I do appreciate it kindly. Your words of encouragement go a long way. Thank you again. John
Comment from mfowler
I felt this; down low.
Your baseball story of questionable heroics is tightly and excitingly written.
You capture the theme of 'Blaze of Glory' in a painfully humorous manner.
Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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I felt this; down low.
Your baseball story of questionable heroics is tightly and excitingly written.
You capture the theme of 'Blaze of Glory' in a painfully humorous manner.
Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Thánk you very much mfowler. I appreciate your review of my post.
John
Comment from Debra White
Hi :)
Thank you for entering the prompt.
I enjoyed your take on the title you chose from the list.
Humorous, descriptive, good use of dialogue.
I didn't quite understand why you personified the sun (Sun giggled...), but it didn't detract from my enjoyment of your piece.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Kindest regards, Debra :)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Hi :)
Thank you for entering the prompt.
I enjoyed your take on the title you chose from the list.
Humorous, descriptive, good use of dialogue.
I didn't quite understand why you personified the sun (Sun giggled...), but it didn't detract from my enjoyment of your piece.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Thank you as well. It was fun thinking of something totally unrelated to the actual words in the title. I see there is a Beatle one, maybe Elvis one day.
Thanks again. John
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi, John. Well I'd be blazing angry if someone did that to me! Impressive story and I loved the description in the opening paragraph about the sun giggling. The good relations between father and son must have been "sorely" affected by this story. Well done and good luck, my friend, Pete :)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Hi, John. Well I'd be blazing angry if someone did that to me! Impressive story and I loved the description in the opening paragraph about the sun giggling. The good relations between father and son must have been "sorely" affected by this story. Well done and good luck, my friend, Pete :)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Great review, Pete. I like the play on words.
Be well, my friend. John
Comment from Dean Kuch
OUCH! I cringed just reading this ball-buster of a story. Well, Blaze should have known better, and the coach knew that. If you happen to take a fast ball to the privates with a baseball traveling around fifty to sixty-five MPH (depending on your pitcher), you're gonna' wish by all that's holy you had worn your cup.
In Blazes's case, his cup will now runneth over, I suspect.
Well done, and good luck to you in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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OUCH! I cringed just reading this ball-buster of a story. Well, Blaze should have known better, and the coach knew that. If you happen to take a fast ball to the privates with a baseball traveling around fifty to sixty-five MPH (depending on your pitcher), you're gonna' wish by all that's holy you had worn your cup.
In Blazes's case, his cup will now runneth over, I suspect.
Well done, and good luck to you in the contest. :)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Dean. Great review. Always appreciated.
John
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Anytime, John. :)
Comment from IndianaIrish
Yikes! Dad or not, that coach would get canned by the Little League Coaches Association for smacking players in the balls with a bat. Yikes! LOL loved the description of the day with the barking humidity. Best wishes to you in the contest, John.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
straight into scarety-cat(scaredy-cat) eyes and flicked the bat.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Yikes! Dad or not, that coach would get canned by the Little League Coaches Association for smacking players in the balls with a bat. Yikes! LOL loved the description of the day with the barking humidity. Best wishes to you in the contest, John.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
straight into scarety-cat(scaredy-cat) eyes and flicked the bat.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Definitely. That's why it's fiction....
Glad you liked it. I'm trying to get into a baseball state of mind for writing.
Comment from Writingfundimension
I've read some good entries for this prompt. I do find yours one of the more clever and creative I've read. Like that last line!
:)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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I've read some good entries for this prompt. I do find yours one of the more clever and creative I've read. Like that last line!
:)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thank you. That's a great compliment. Much appreciated. John
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You're welcome. :)
Comment from marijmd
Ouch!! You story brings new meaning to the family jewels. he he
Nice build of tension and humor with the short - pulled the reader in very fast and then wince!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Ouch!! You story brings new meaning to the family jewels. he he
Nice build of tension and humor with the short - pulled the reader in very fast and then wince!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Ouch! Is right!
It's just fiction, though.
Thanks for stopping by.
John
Comment from Jacob Collins
An interesting take on the contest. I am not familiar with the game of baseball but I enjoyed reading your piece. I couldn't find any faults with your work. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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An interesting take on the contest. I am not familiar with the game of baseball but I enjoyed reading your piece. I couldn't find any faults with your work. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Thank you got reading and sharing.
John
Comment from livelylinda
jmdg1954: hmmmm. . . not exactly what I would call a "blaze of glory", however, I am female and gave birth to three daughters so what do I know?? LOL What I want to know - are fathers really that rough on their sons?? An original story and made me stop and think. livelylinda
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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jmdg1954: hmmmm. . . not exactly what I would call a "blaze of glory", however, I am female and gave birth to three daughters so what do I know?? LOL What I want to know - are fathers really that rough on their sons?? An original story and made me stop and think. livelylinda
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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I never did anything like that when I coached. This is just a story for a contest.
Thanks, Linda for reading. John