Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Snake"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
26 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
My father was a very mean man and beat us many times. We had a rifle at our home and I am amazed that one of my brothers sis not put a bullet in dads back. A bit of a different time than we live in now. Patricia
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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My father was a very mean man and beat us many times. We had a rifle at our home and I am amazed that one of my brothers sis not put a bullet in dads back. A bit of a different time than we live in now. Patricia
Comment Written 17-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Agreed with completely.
Comment from c_lucas
This should be under poetry, not prose. Some people just have a mean streak in them. When the abused strikes back they are usually persecuted by the courts.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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This should be under poetry, not prose. Some people just have a mean streak in them. When the abused strikes back they are usually persecuted by the courts.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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Agree with your comments about the courts. Happens all too often.
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You're welcome, BM. Charlie
Comment from adewpearl
solid rhyming couplets
good alliteration in phrases like son would soon
and battered and bruised
and others
strong expression of emotion
horrific detail of the abuse
and a child driven to put an end to the abuse
Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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solid rhyming couplets
good alliteration in phrases like son would soon
and battered and bruised
and others
strong expression of emotion
horrific detail of the abuse
and a child driven to put an end to the abuse
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from Jay Squires
Thank you, bmwhsd, for a powerful poem. This is, as you said in your author's note, the worst kind of child abuse. Also we see the chronology of his abuse has no boundaries.
I was watching the local news two days ago of a drug store surveillance video capturing the image of a 23 year-old young man flattening his 2 year-old son with a right uppercut. Then the camera caught him throwing up his hands as if to say, "What's a guy to do when his kids don't mind."
Thank you for your post. You are a gifted poet.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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Thank you, bmwhsd, for a powerful poem. This is, as you said in your author's note, the worst kind of child abuse. Also we see the chronology of his abuse has no boundaries.
I was watching the local news two days ago of a drug store surveillance video capturing the image of a 23 year-old young man flattening his 2 year-old son with a right uppercut. Then the camera caught him throwing up his hands as if to say, "What's a guy to do when his kids don't mind."
Thank you for your post. You are a gifted poet.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from Marvin Calloway
What a powerful poem and sad tale. Everyone is brought painfully to life, described with real emotion. We can't imagine people living like this, but we don't have to imagine, we know it's true.
Marv
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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What a powerful poem and sad tale. Everyone is brought painfully to life, described with real emotion. We can't imagine people living like this, but we don't have to imagine, we know it's true.
Marv
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them. So true and so sad that there are people who have to live like that.
Comment from valerieellis
Beautifully written!! What a heart-wrenching story that is sadly, too many times, true. The imagery created a vivid picture of the characters and setting. My heart ached for the boy! The artwork definitely added to the depth of the poem and the sadistic evilness of abusers. Thank you for sharing :)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Beautifully written!! What a heart-wrenching story that is sadly, too many times, true. The imagery created a vivid picture of the characters and setting. My heart ached for the boy! The artwork definitely added to the depth of the poem and the sadistic evilness of abusers. Thank you for sharing :)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from livelylinda
bmwhsd: well written poem. The rhyme is good although the rhythm is a little off here and there but still readable. It carries a sad and all-too-common tale of abuse, strongly written. The intensity is palpable. This should be a good contender in the contest. livelylinda
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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bmwhsd: well written poem. The rhyme is good although the rhythm is a little off here and there but still readable. It carries a sad and all-too-common tale of abuse, strongly written. The intensity is palpable. This should be a good contender in the contest. livelylinda
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from alexisleech
I read many stories about child abuse on this site, I'm beginning to realise a lot more people have suffered from it than I care to imagine. Your beautifully written poem sums up the pain and despair of the abused perfectly, and ultimately closes with all that hatred being turned back on the abuser.
Well done, and good luck in the competition.
Alexis x
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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I read many stories about child abuse on this site, I'm beginning to realise a lot more people have suffered from it than I care to imagine. Your beautifully written poem sums up the pain and despair of the abused perfectly, and ultimately closes with all that hatred being turned back on the abuser.
Well done, and good luck in the competition.
Alexis x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from kriver
Hi,
I think your poem is really good
It flows very well
It has a good story line.
Very good rhythm
very good rhyme
Very good entry for the contest However, the you might run into a problem because you didn't start it with "I remember" They might get you on that.so you might add a couple of lines to cover that.
But, I do think it is a fine write.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Hi,
I think your poem is really good
It flows very well
It has a good story line.
Very good rhythm
very good rhyme
Very good entry for the contest However, the you might run into a problem because you didn't start it with "I remember" They might get you on that.so you might add a couple of lines to cover that.
But, I do think it is a fine write.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thank you for you comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from mfowler
This is an all too true story of domestic abuse with an outcome both tragic for the victim, but also for the innocents who needed to fight back. I like how you characterised the abuser as a 'snake'. You repeat this when he gets shot; a very effective metaphor. The image you selected also kind of rams home the idea. The story in this is tragic especially at the end when the kid faces the gallows.
This is powerful writing, and I assume based on a real incident from teh past judging by the prompt's title.
Best of luck with the judges.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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This is an all too true story of domestic abuse with an outcome both tragic for the victim, but also for the innocents who needed to fight back. I like how you characterised the abuser as a 'snake'. You repeat this when he gets shot; a very effective metaphor. The image you selected also kind of rams home the idea. The story in this is tragic especially at the end when the kid faces the gallows.
This is powerful writing, and I assume based on a real incident from teh past judging by the prompt's title.
Best of luck with the judges.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.