Comment from Scarbrems

Excellent

Oooh, a touch of the Pennywise, here. Nicely done. There's a strong narrative voice which distances the reader from the action, making it feel as though we are watching a silent movie through a keyhole. This is an excellent technique for creating that eerie feel. I have to say that, whilst I am not normally a fan of music with posts, it works so well, here. It fits perfectly, and adds to the silent movie feel.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Good ol' Pennywise, of Stephen King's "IT" fame. Yeah, he was one c-r-r-r-r-r-a-z-y clown. Thanks a bunch for your complimentary review and comments, Sarkems. I very much appreciate it...~Dean

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Congratulations on winning the contest, Dean. This is a good addition to your collection. Many people, like me, don't like clowns and see them as something sinister--which makes the content of your story all the more scary. The mood and presentation of your piece are consistent with your successful story line. Marilyn

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks, Marilyn, I really appreciate that. I'm very glad that you enjoyed the story, and I'm very grateful for you feedback...~Dean

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

The worst of the worst--the "no clown clown". This is particularly good, Dean--don't know how you tell a story in only 148 words! Loved the music. Well done. Clowns are the scariest of all in my humble opinion. Thanks for awakening my fear . . . . . . .

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks a bunch, Green Lake Girl. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review this one. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. ~Dean

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Easy to see why this has been awarded. Scary to think the possibilities of how this could be developed into a full blown story. Well written. Held interest throughout. Write on.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks for taking the time to read and review my work, bmwhsd. I sincerely appreciate it. ~Dean

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

Hi Dean, Simplicity is the key and works well with this short story format.

Again your visual presentation is good. With fluent descriptions the brevity of the story is forgotten after that masterful shock at the end.

That's good writing there Dean...

:) Mel.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thank you very much, Mel. Your complimentary comments are very much appreciated. ~Dean

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Dean....

Congrats for the win.

I tell you, since putting the music to these stories, it adds a whole new dimension to them, because they are eerie enough on their own.

This 'non' clown, puts a whole new twist on 'Stranger Danger' for sure.

Excellent write, my friend.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks, Jax. I appreciate your comments. ~Dean

Comment from GWinterwin

Excellent

Yes, I did enjoy your little short story. It was good, and to the point for sure. The music was spine tingling, I didn't realize at first that it was coming from your story. Then when I did realize it, that made it even more scary.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks, GW. I frequently get comments about the music or sound FX in some of my posts coming as a bit of a surprise. It's all just part of the total package in trying to entertain those who care enough to read what I've written, in the best way I know how.

Much obliged, my friend...~Dean

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

I had a sound effects album with a merry-go- round steam calliope that I run the needle through. 'Scuse me, I think I'll go listen to Crispian St. Peters sing The :Pied Piper...why did I think of that? Excellent shorty.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Hah, thanks, Red. As always, I really appreciate you wit and feedback, heh-heh-heh... ~Dean

Comment from Judy Couch

Excellent

This is scary. I think that the fact that it could happen makes it worse. The picture compliments it well and the music adds to the scariness.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thank you, Judy. You're right, the kinds of monsters which could exist are much more terrifying than zombies and vampires. I've always thought so too. I truly appreciate your thoughtful comments...~Dean

Comment from Gunner Lil

Excellent

I enjoyed this flash. I could see the clown as he dashed in and out of his hiding places teasing the young children. I was able to see the clown calling the children
and having them follow him. The ending could be a bit stronger with maybe more
convincing dialogue from the carny.

I love flash shorts. Thank you and good luck!

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015

Thanks very much for the feedback, Gunner. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story overall. ...~Dean