Comment from ellie6

Excellent

Brilliant story, well told and with a nice twist at the end. iIreckon he got his just desserts. no errors that I could find, well written and you kept up the flow.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi...

_ Married to a cheater.
_ Been there--done that. Don't advise it.
_ Excellent story--although I found a lot of missing commas.
_ A little dialogue here and there would add impact because the reader can identify with the characters much better as well.
_ All said, a good entry. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*;*)

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Mystery author, this is a truly wonderful entry for this particular competition, your story is really well written with an excellent lead character and brilliant plot.That ending was inspirational! I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.

reply by Eric1 on 30-Jun-2015

You are most welcome Brett.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

It is an interesting story. I little strange in places as the man who was cheating is dead and telling the tale. I think the multiple cheatings makes the wife less sympathetic and more of a cold blooded killer. The frame up with Lola seems unneeded considering his habitual nature. But a good tale overall.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

His wife had this planned all along. Lola/Maria was in on it. Ha! That was quite a twist at the end. I thought he was just going to have breakfast when . . . BANG! he ate a bullet.
The story which led up to the grand finale was brilliantly told by our carousing victim. We got to know him through his narration. I like your writing it from his perspective.

:) e

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.