2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Haiku (delicate pink leaf)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
42 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
The concrete imagery of the first two line is superb. It evokes feeling and arouses the sense of the reader. this is further continued with the denouement line.
Good stuff and good luck.
GMG
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
  |
Hi there,
The concrete imagery of the first two line is superb. It evokes feeling and arouses the sense of the reader. this is further continued with the denouement line.
Good stuff and good luck.
GMG
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
-
thank you GMG, I appreciate your review. :)
Comment from Pancho Kid
Very careful selection of words that do, in fact, strongly evoke 'Nature'........it certainly satisfies the form you describe very well, as well as allowing the reader to project their own image.......the sense of 'smell' makes it. Very clever!
Thanks, Pancho Kid
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
 |
Very careful selection of words that do, in fact, strongly evoke 'Nature'........it certainly satisfies the form you describe very well, as well as allowing the reader to project their own image.......the sense of 'smell' makes it. Very clever!
Thanks, Pancho Kid
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
-
thank you Pancho , I appreciate your review. :)
-
Welcome!
Pancho
Comment from lightink
Wonderful imagery! It's concrete and colorful with a seasonal clue! Also, I love the smell of rainy soil! This is such a great wet and whirly scene you shared! Great haiku! Good luck at the contest!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
|
Wonderful imagery! It's concrete and colorful with a seasonal clue! Also, I love the smell of rainy soil! This is such a great wet and whirly scene you shared! Great haiku! Good luck at the contest!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
-
Thank you lighting. :)
Comment from seaglass
This poem about nature narrows down a moment of observation. What is it we smell in the air that suggests rain? No one can identify it but we all know it. Painting a picture of that thought and observation of the pink leaf make the perfect haiku.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
This poem about nature narrows down a moment of observation. What is it we smell in the air that suggests rain? No one can identify it but we all know it. Painting a picture of that thought and observation of the pink leaf make the perfect haiku.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you seaglass :)
Comment from pattipac
Your well worded haiku shows creativity as you contrast the delicate pink blossoms of nature with the torrential fast moving river.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
Your well worded haiku shows creativity as you contrast the delicate pink blossoms of nature with the torrential fast moving river.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you pattiepac :)
Comment from TAB_that's me
Great imagery in this nature haiku. Good interconnected lines. Nice aha moment as a whole. good luck to you.
~~Teresa~~
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
Great imagery in this nature haiku. Good interconnected lines. Nice aha moment as a whole. good luck to you.
~~Teresa~~
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Teresa :)
Comment from zanya
An earthy and colorful and vibrant moment captured and well portrayed here in this Nature Haiku with a sense of impending rain - interesting juxtaposition of 'delicate' and 'torrential'.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
An earthy and colorful and vibrant moment captured and well portrayed here in this Nature Haiku with a sense of impending rain - interesting juxtaposition of 'delicate' and 'torrential'.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you zanya :)
Comment from Joy Graham
I like your description of the leaf as delicate and pink :) That provides a visual image to me. When it floats on the wild torrential river I feel afraid for the poor leaf. The traumatic adventure isn't over because you smell rain. The poor leaf. I sure hope it survives the storm.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
I like your description of the leaf as delicate and pink :) That provides a visual image to me. When it floats on the wild torrential river I feel afraid for the poor leaf. The traumatic adventure isn't over because you smell rain. The poor leaf. I sure hope it survives the storm.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Joy, no need to feel bad, the little resilient leaf goes with the flow. :)
Comment from Tessa Kay
It's one of the nicest smells, isn't it, the earth after rain.
There is a lot of very nice imagery in your poem, giving it a calm feel.
All the best in the contest
:) Tessa
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
It's one of the nicest smells, isn't it, the earth after rain.
There is a lot of very nice imagery in your poem, giving it a calm feel.
All the best in the contest
:) Tessa
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Tessa :)
Comment from judiverse
Excellent contrast of the delicate pink leaf with the wild torrential river. Great description. Your syllable count is right on the money, 5-7-5. Sensory appeal of smell in the last stanza adds to the imagery. It's wonderful to be able to notice such small things in nature. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
Excellent contrast of the delicate pink leaf with the wild torrential river. Great description. Your syllable count is right on the money, 5-7-5. Sensory appeal of smell in the last stanza adds to the imagery. It's wonderful to be able to notice such small things in nature. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Judi :)
-
You're very welcome, and good luck. judi