Comment from Naxsc

Excellent

Good content of domestic and motherhood contentment. Children are always the best gifts we get though they can be little rascals when they want to be.

I can imagine several scenarios here, that of children disturbing you, children demanding you, but all with love and the rights they have over their mother.

Beautiful.

keep writing more!

All the best!

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you Naxsc :)

Comment from Cedar

Excellent

This is a delightful 5-7-5. Your words certainly match the wonderful picture that you have chosen. Lots of human emotion in this one. I wish you good luck in the contest. Bill

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you Bill :)

Comment from Benny Beeharry

Excellent

Exactly when you have a bundle of joy in your arms, what else do one need? And the sounds of the voice asking whats for dinner, this is passed all joys.
Beautiful.
Benny Beeharry

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you Benny :)

Comment from The Death

Excellent

Hi mystery poet,

Nice 5/7/5 poem which captures the happiness one feels while being around family. Technically, this isn't a senryu - and definition at Poetry Dances is outdated, as is the case for most of the forms. It presents incomplete information. As you might have referred it, I'd review it considering in mind that it's a 5/7/5 poem. Good luck!

Regards,
Anupam

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you The Death :)

Comment from Jacob Collins

Excellent

That one sentence every child uses, I'm twenty and I still use that sentence: what's for dinner mum. A well written piece, I thought your writing flowed well and I couldn't find any faults. Good luck in the contest...Jacob

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you for the review :)

Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson

Excellent

Aren't those the words every mother hears every day. What's for dinner, supper, tea mum/mom. Maybe when your children grow up and move out that is one of those little blessings because you only hear yourself utter those words? Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you Darlene :)

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

This was a simple and joyous poem. I like the contrast between exuberance and the child's come down to reality "what's for dinner, mom?" Your words were well chosen and humorous. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you Sis Cat :)

Comment from pierre poote'

Excellent

i love your poem. i only had one child and wish i had had two more. i probably could have. they are the joy of life. when they are gone it is painful . i love the filled house when he is home.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thank you Pierre :)

Comment from OLA THOMAS

Excellent

A nicely penned senryu poem. So enchanting with joy and happiness. You created two distinct characters; the Mom and the kids each demonstrating their emotion. Nice work.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015

Thank you Ola :)

Comment from beizanten

Average

The picture of the children are cute and adorable. I like it cute, lighthearted tone. The only problem it is much too short try adding atleast 3 stanzas

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015

You obviously don't know what a senryu poem is. It is a Japanese format, 3 lines, 17 syllables. You can click on the contest link and it will explain further.