Comment from rama devi

Excellent

So sad how we are destroying the planet. Good 20402, speaking volume in few words. The animals and birds have to watch how we cause harm to life. Sigh.

SUPERB word economy and phonetics with the medley of C and S sounds.

Strong entry!

Good Luck!

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2016

Thank you so much, rd. I must apologize for being so far behind but I chose to clean up the inbox first and now it is under control :).

reply by rama devi on 19-Aug-2016

:-))) TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE! Happens to us all, dear.

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Hello Mystic Angel;
-your 2/4/2 syllabic format discusses, describes and explains with its imagery Of the probability of a Raven that circles around a cropped field That is desolated and dusty. Bringing to mind of the utility and hopelessness of life.
-The picture's very appropriate and relative to your conceptual theme.
-Good luck in the contest and take care.
Alex

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2016

Thank you. I appreciate your time and feedback very much.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a fine entry for the contest
with excellent concrete imagery
especially in the scorched field
and good grammatical connection
Written like a haiku,
it has an excellent third line satori
with its play on crop duster
A nice touch of alliteration
and a wonderful photograph to match
This poem should do well in the contest
Best wishes

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2016

thank you very much! I was shooting for haiku even though I know it was a risk. Your encouragement means much.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

a good 2.4.2 on the prompt circling around looking for food. should do well with this, good luck on this and have a great day.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2016

Thank you very much for the kind encouragement and support of this little scribble.

Comment from Shelli 1

Good

I'm new to this type of poetry, but in the limited words you used it conveyed a raven taking flight over a field its blackness shining in the sun it gave me a visual

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 06-Aug-2016

Thank you. It is following the rules of haiku for the most part. The key is to develop a solid satori (last line) which is an AHA moment summarizing an epiphany from the first two lines of connected imagery.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

The way the world is with climate change, and the normal climate suited to a particular region in the world is changing, high rainfall in one with tradionally low rainfall, and vice versa. Well done, Monica, an excellent entry in this 2/4/2 poetry contest, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2016

Thank you very much for the kind encouragement and support of this little scribble.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there.

Now this is a very clever piece. These 2-4-2pieces are notoriously difficult. The denouement commentary in the last line is very smart.

best of luck with this
GMG

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2016

---

reply by the author on 06-Aug-2016

Thank you very much! It might be a bit too haiku-ish for the contest, but you never know unless you try. I am really thrilled that you enjoyed it. Your time and generous feedback are greatly appreciated.