Once upon the heart..
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Gentle Whispers.."Love poems
32 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I love the image and the presentation is good.
-The format is very good.
-Good repeating lines.
-There is a tender mood that matches the
gentle image you chose and is matched by the couplets:
"A gentle whisper spoken from my lips ...
as soothing dreams embark throughout the night."
-Good entry; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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-I love the image and the presentation is good.
-The format is very good.
-Good repeating lines.
-There is a tender mood that matches the
gentle image you chose and is matched by the couplets:
"A gentle whisper spoken from my lips ...
as soothing dreams embark throughout the night."
-Good entry; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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HI Pam!!! thanks for reading and the great review!!! always appreciate
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You are very welcome. A nice poem.
Comment from frierajac
Very nicely done for Romance poetry and fitting the form. And the feeling of
being adrift. I donot know about heartless thief. The line seems unfinished
to me. There is no escape though from the rhyme scheme
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Very nicely done for Romance poetry and fitting the form. And the feeling of
being adrift. I donot know about heartless thief. The line seems unfinished
to me. There is no escape though from the rhyme scheme
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Thanks for the review!!! very much appreciated!!
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a romantic dream of love. Love can always be true and strengthening in a dream even if it isn't in real life. Maybe the dream will push you to find away through the grief to love agian. Nice choice of dreamy artwork.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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This is a romantic dream of love. Love can always be true and strengthening in a dream even if it isn't in real life. Maybe the dream will push you to find away through the grief to love agian. Nice choice of dreamy artwork.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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:-) Thank you. Glad you liked it.
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Any time. I did.
dp
Comment from mfowler
I doubt I've read a more positive and engaging poem about death and leaving this earth. The poem is spoken by one of a couple who've died. Their spirits are bound together. 'A gentle whisper spoken from my lips,
the tender coaxing of your fingertips' indicates the closness and love felt between them.
The kyrielle format with its repetition and slow build of imagery allowed you to use this almost ethereal language to lift the voice from the page and engage the reader in these intimate moments.
So beautifully written and greatly enjoyed. Thank you.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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I doubt I've read a more positive and engaging poem about death and leaving this earth. The poem is spoken by one of a couple who've died. Their spirits are bound together. 'A gentle whisper spoken from my lips,
the tender coaxing of your fingertips' indicates the closness and love felt between them.
The kyrielle format with its repetition and slow build of imagery allowed you to use this almost ethereal language to lift the voice from the page and engage the reader in these intimate moments.
So beautifully written and greatly enjoyed. Thank you.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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WOW great review!!!!.. :-) thank you so very much for reading this poem of mine!!! truly appreciate!!
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Susan, this sonnet is incredibly beautiful. The depth of your emotions from the slightly fearful to an astounding high comes through with your wondrous words used in telling your story!
Susan my friend, you have composed an exceptional piece of poetry for this contest! You have my vote and my wishes of great luck for winning this contest!
This poem is something you should be very proud of, I know that I am as your friend,,,,,,,,,, Jimmy
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Susan, this sonnet is incredibly beautiful. The depth of your emotions from the slightly fearful to an astounding high comes through with your wondrous words used in telling your story!
Susan my friend, you have composed an exceptional piece of poetry for this contest! You have my vote and my wishes of great luck for winning this contest!
This poem is something you should be very proud of, I know that I am as your friend,,,,,,,,,, Jimmy
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Jimmy jimmy jimmy... :-)..6 stars! oh you! glad you liked this one.
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Susan, I love how you have expanded your talent! I am very proud of you buttercream!
Comment from William Ross
very nice on this kyrielle sonnet. wonderful rhyme and rhythm great meter and flows great. Should do very well on this, have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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very nice on this kyrielle sonnet. wonderful rhyme and rhythm great meter and flows great. Should do very well on this, have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much!! Glad you enjoyed this poem of mine!
Comment from WalkerMan
Ah, this is how it should be in a long-term loving relationship. It does not even matter which partner is narrating here. This is the aspect of a lovingly shared life that is most missed when it is no longer so, and most longed for by those who (for whatever reason) have never experienced it. The well-chosen words of this poem coax a tear of joy from those who have it, sadness from those who don't, or both, depending on the reader's life experience. Either way, as Ella Wheeler wrote in "Singers" (1873), there is pain behind even the most joyful of songs. I feel it all as I read this, which is why it receives my last Six for this week. Superb, and aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Ah, this is how it should be in a long-term loving relationship. It does not even matter which partner is narrating here. This is the aspect of a lovingly shared life that is most missed when it is no longer so, and most longed for by those who (for whatever reason) have never experienced it. The well-chosen words of this poem coax a tear of joy from those who have it, sadness from those who don't, or both, depending on the reader's life experience. Either way, as Ella Wheeler wrote in "Singers" (1873), there is pain behind even the most joyful of songs. I feel it all as I read this, which is why it receives my last Six for this week. Superb, and aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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This review is coaxing a tear from me...as i know you "get" it. Thank you mike. chat soon.
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You are most welcome, Susan. Yes, and you know that I care. -- Mike
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Susan,
This is a super contest entry. I do not understand all the criteria of the prompt. However, your lines flow smoothly with great descriptive words & rhymes.
The repeated line fits in so well in each verse. Readers don't notice it as a repeat. It becomes a part of the overall verse.
The couplet is a perfect summation, too.
The art/image is awesome.
Good job & thanks for sharing.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Susan,
This is a super contest entry. I do not understand all the criteria of the prompt. However, your lines flow smoothly with great descriptive words & rhymes.
The repeated line fits in so well in each verse. Readers don't notice it as a repeat. It becomes a part of the overall verse.
The couplet is a perfect summation, too.
The art/image is awesome.
Good job & thanks for sharing.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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hi Jan!!! thanks for the great review!!! i always appreciate you stopping by!!
Comment from Kelly2
Very lovely poetry with such descriptive phrases such as "soothing dreams embark throughout the night" and "While tender visions gratify my heart,
we soar together ... nevermore to part"
Not a poet myself, I'm just going to take a stab at the meaning.
The truth is shown in the following: "A welcomed respite from relentless grief;
now, destiny released from heartless thief" and "ignore reality's, dark saddened plight"
He is gone, never to return to this earth, and she has her dreams to sustain her.
Great work.
Kelly
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Very lovely poetry with such descriptive phrases such as "soothing dreams embark throughout the night" and "While tender visions gratify my heart,
we soar together ... nevermore to part"
Not a poet myself, I'm just going to take a stab at the meaning.
The truth is shown in the following: "A welcomed respite from relentless grief;
now, destiny released from heartless thief" and "ignore reality's, dark saddened plight"
He is gone, never to return to this earth, and she has her dreams to sustain her.
Great work.
Kelly
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Hi kelly!! thank you for this wonderful review!!! Im so glad you enjoyed it...and yes, dreams are wonderful...and sometimes all we have. :-)thank you for reading and the great review!!!!
Comment from DonandVicki
A very dreamy and we'll composed sonnet. Beautiful and inspiring poem that brings out the feelings of love. Very touching and loving.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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A very dreamy and we'll composed sonnet. Beautiful and inspiring poem that brings out the feelings of love. Very touching and loving.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reading and the great review!!! very much appreciated!!