tanka (empty bell tower)
For whom the bell tolls?78 total reviews
Comment from Ogden
A well-honed work you should be proud of, Andre.
I believe your poem captures the spirit of the Japanese form, and the excellent imagery is true to your personal experience that inspired it, as described in your notes.
I will be surprised and disappointed if you aren't rewarded by the committee.
Don
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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A well-honed work you should be proud of, Andre.
I believe your poem captures the spirit of the Japanese form, and the excellent imagery is true to your personal experience that inspired it, as described in your notes.
I will be surprised and disappointed if you aren't rewarded by the committee.
Don
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, Don, for your generous, six star review of my "well-honed" Tanka and encouragement in the contest. I appreciate your support.
Comment from mvbrooks
Imagining a truly silent night that allows creatures and humans alike the chance to just be a;one with one's thoughts is very inviting. This poem effectively evokes the images and the calmness of this scene.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Imagining a truly silent night that allows creatures and humans alike the chance to just be a;one with one's thoughts is very inviting. This poem effectively evokes the images and the calmness of this scene.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review. I am glad my tanka evoked the calmness of this scene.
Comment from dragonpoet
An empty bell tower would be a very sad thing. But I know it is a metaphor for the tree. The severe close up make those wind chimes seem almost as big as church bells. If they were really that big, I would think their sound would scare thngs away. Maybe some one should hang some wind chimes in the bell tower until the get a bell.
Nicely done tanka
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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An empty bell tower would be a very sad thing. But I know it is a metaphor for the tree. The severe close up make those wind chimes seem almost as big as church bells. If they were really that big, I would think their sound would scare thngs away. Maybe some one should hang some wind chimes in the bell tower until the get a bell.
Nicely done tanka
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, dragonpoet for your review of my "nicely done Tanka." I appreciate it. I just joined a Tanka class and will keep writing.
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You're welcome.
dp
Comment from emptypage
Wow.
I don't know about this form of poetry. I write prose, mostly, except for the odd limerick or haiku.
But this is beautiful.
The sound of the chimes helps a lot, but I am a cradle Catholic, though I haven't been to church in some time, and church bells beckoning is just what happens. This piece got me right in my gooey center.
Nice job.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Wow.
I don't know about this form of poetry. I write prose, mostly, except for the odd limerick or haiku.
But this is beautiful.
The sound of the chimes helps a lot, but I am a cradle Catholic, though I haven't been to church in some time, and church bells beckoning is just what happens. This piece got me right in my gooey center.
Nice job.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, emptypage, for your review. I am glad my Tanka "got me right in my gooey center."
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I am such a dweeb. LOL.
Comment from LIJ Red
The windchime on my mom's deserted porch stopped chiming. Mudwasps had filled the pipes with clay and paralyzed spiders, causing it to clunk feebly. Lots of poetic metaphors there...five seven five seven seven...fine tanka, I believe.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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The windchime on my mom's deserted porch stopped chiming. Mudwasps had filled the pipes with clay and paralyzed spiders, causing it to clunk feebly. Lots of poetic metaphors there...five seven five seven seven...fine tanka, I believe.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Thank you, LIJ, for your review of my "fine tanka." Mud wasps clogged my mother's seashell chimes, too.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is lovely and very well done especially for your first one. I like your two images and a good connecting line. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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This is lovely and very well done especially for your first one. I like your two images and a good connecting line. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Debbie, for your review and best wishes for my first tanka. It took me a month to write after I stopped to listen and record wind chimes on the way to church. After I posted my tanka, I returned to the wind chimes to thank them for the inspiration.
Comment from crybry67
I enjoyed reading your poem, a wonderful entry for the writing prompt. Its funny how it seems we always have what we need, just not in the way we'd expect. Great message. Blessings... Christy
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I enjoyed reading your poem, a wonderful entry for the writing prompt. Its funny how it seems we always have what we need, just not in the way we'd expect. Great message. Blessings... Christy
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Christy, "Its funny how it seems we always have what we need, just not in the way we'd expect." Thank you for your review.
Comment from Selina Stambi
I love listening to the tiny tinkle of windchimes in my garden.
The background music is haunting and creates a lovely, lonely, cloister-ish backdrop to your tanka.
Your first? Good one! Well done, Sis Cat.
Best wishes,
Sonali
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I love listening to the tiny tinkle of windchimes in my garden.
The background music is haunting and creates a lovely, lonely, cloister-ish backdrop to your tanka.
Your first? Good one! Well done, Sis Cat.
Best wishes,
Sonali
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Sonali, my first tanka. It took me a month to write after I stopped to listen and record wind chimes on the way to church. After I posted my tanka, I returned to the wind chimes to thank them for the inspiration. Thank you for your review.
Comment from rspoet
Or for whom the bells do not toll
Everyone who encouraged you should be applauded,
this is a very fine tanka, especially for a first try.
Excellent imagery throughout the tanka
involving both sight and sound.
Very fine transition to the sound of the wind chime
contrasting with the absence of the sound of the bells,
and relating mediation to the peaceful roosting pigeons
There are different ways to construct a tanka,
you've very well with this one.
I hear six bells tolling
or are they distant stars.
RS
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Or for whom the bells do not toll
Everyone who encouraged you should be applauded,
this is a very fine tanka, especially for a first try.
Excellent imagery throughout the tanka
involving both sight and sound.
Very fine transition to the sound of the wind chime
contrasting with the absence of the sound of the bells,
and relating mediation to the peaceful roosting pigeons
There are different ways to construct a tanka,
you've very well with this one.
I hear six bells tolling
or are they distant stars.
RS
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you, RS, for your twinkling, tinkling six star review. Writing my first tanka took me a month after I encountered wind chimes in a neighborhood whose churches lacked bells. I recorded the chimes on my phone and listened to it as I wrote. Thank you for tolling six bells for me.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image.
-Format is good; I also like the chimes.
-I like the imagery and thoughts in your poem.
-I like how you begin with the 'empty bell tower'
and end with the chimes that
"call me to meditation."
-A good entry; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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-Very nice image.
-Format is good; I also like the chimes.
-I like the imagery and thoughts in your poem.
-I like how you begin with the 'empty bell tower'
and end with the chimes that
"call me to meditation."
-A good entry; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Pam, I am amazed by how I constructed my first tanka with a contrast between the empty bell tower and the tinkling wind chimes that "call me to meditation." Thank you for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
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You are welcome for the review and did an excellent job with the tanka.