Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

Another well written chapter of this entertaining and thought-provoking book, my friend. I'll have to pass on the insects though, at least for breakfast!~Debbie

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017

Yeah, insects don't sound much like my kind of food, but I'm not particularly hungry, either. I was trying to add authenticity to the escape, while adding another survival technique.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,
Rhonda

Comment from kriver

Excellent

Hi,
This is a good fantasy story
Good detail about eating bugs
While in the Marines I saw a guy
take a live black cockroach put it in his mouth and swallow it.
I can't remember if he chewed it up or swallowed it whole.
He claimed it was good source for protein.
It was over 40 yrs ago when this occurred.
Best regards,
K River

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017

Yeah, that's pretty gross, but you do what you have to do in survival situations. I can say, "there but for the grace of God, go I." The worse I have to eat is poorly prepared food, and that usually comes from me. haha. I'm not the greatest cook, but my sister is... I let her "impress me" as often as possible.

Take care, and thanks for the review,
Rhonda

reply by kriver on 06-Apr-2017

at least you have a kitchen to try to cook in I don't even have a sink, floor, cabinets or stove. I was remodeling the kitchen and got sick in the middle and haven't been able to continue the remodel yet.
Best regards,
K River

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017

Oh no!! So sorry to hear it. We were remodeling the floors in the kitchen, and they my husband (the re-modeler) got onto other projects, and I have a huge piece of plywood on the floor. Not the same...

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, this is another wonderful chapter, and I do hope they will succeed in fleeing to where they will be safe. I must say, eating insects will never be for me, and God knows I've eaten many a strange thing throughout my travels around the world. Mind you I've heard it may be our salavation. They should also be very healthy. Yikes! The whole story is an interesting concept. I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017

Thank you, Ulla! Yes, insects don't sound to yummy, but they really are part of survival planning.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave your wonderful comments.

Take care, my friend,
Rhonda

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

Another good continuation of the story here. A bit of a lull, but good writing and dialogue.

Misery, she decided, does, indeed, love company.- not sure you need the commas around indeed here.

I think the dialogue works much better in this chapter punctuated by the accompanying narrative.

As they began, yet another march - not sure you need the comma after began here.

Archie reflected on how very like his father, Sani appeared - not sure you need this one either.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017

Thank you, G. I didn't have much action here as I was playing about with dialogue and description to try and get a balance. Thank you for commenting on that part. I will definitely go forward now with the action, getting more balance.

Thank you for the help on commas. I struggle with those!

Take care, G
Rhonda

Comment from emptypage

Excellent

Hey, Rhonda, I was wondering where you had gone.

I love this installment. Eating crickets is a huge step for Ayala. I'm glad she's getting more comfortable with her differences. Some of us never get there.

The piece is very well written, as always. One thing, though, in your notes: you said something about "there is a lot of different types of experiments..." and it should say "there are...."

Great job.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017

Hi,
I am a bit late with the chapter. I had my grandson one weekend, and a quilt to make for a benefit last one. It doesn't take long to get behind. I've got 91 messages in my inbox right now. It was over 100 a few days ago. I'm trying to dig my way out!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

You're the first to notice the mistake in the author's notes. Thank you!

Take care, my friend,
Rhonda

Comment from Nikki-Nicole

Excellent

This chapter is very well-written.
It's nicely polished.
Free of grammatical errors!
Excellent use of dialogue.
Outstanding author's notes.- Very helpful information for those who have just started reading the material. Very detailed.
Nice artwork.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017

Thank you for dropping in to read, Nicole!! I appreciate your time and attention. I hope you come back to read again.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from MelB

Excellent

You are doing a great job with this story, Rhonda! The bug eating reminds me of an episode of Survivor, which always stopped me from trying to go on the show.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017

That's funny, me either, but it is authentic, and I'm afraid I would do it if I was hungry enough. However, I might end up more like Koko!!

Thank you, my friend,
Rhonda

Comment from LaRosa

Excellent

It's interesting that you pull modern society's prejudices and beliefs into the mother-hood issue.
Ahhh, the science/fantasy controversy...well done.

So, just a couple of things I noticed:
"...hold onto (it) like a lifeline..."
"...pull(ed) out a blackened cricket.

Still enjoying the easy conversational tone and the introspection of each individual which gives more/valuable insight regarding what may happen when they all reach "man's civilization">

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

Thank you for the brilliant review, LaRosa! I do a lot of pulling issues into this book. I don't know why, but it seemed to lend itself to controversy! Haha.

Thanks for the spag alert. I'll fix those slip-ups!

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by LaRosa on 05-Apr-2017

and it's true: 'there's nothing new under the sun' :)

Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

I can see why Archie questions Sani's plan when it includes tommyknockers but by the end of this chapter, his respect seems to be growing.
Good job building suspense for the upcoming rescue attempt in the mine. We know to expect an ambush.
I enjoyed reading this.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

Thank you, Heidi! He respects Sani, and has a feeling there's something else behind the old man's story, but can't get him to tell him details. He still respects and trusts him. Archie is a man who likes to be in charge. Sani is keeping him off balance for a reason.

Thanks for taking a deeper journey with me.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Rhonda,
Nice piece of Fantasy Science Fiction, interesting as well as educative!
Smooth flow throughout up to the end.
Impressive and matching the theme phraseology.
It seems to be a good research work, and worth enjoying.
Keep it up!

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

Thank you so much! Yes, there has been a lot of research in this book, thanks for noticing. Sometimes it's hard when you have a lot of research to make it seem story like.

Take care,
Rhonda