Echoes of Artistry
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Grace"NaPoWriMo 2017
27 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
A beautifully written poem, Kim. The first three lines are wonderful, especially "grumbles" and since I'm a vegetarian (forget the meat part):
"So thankful for this daily bread,
as stomach grumbles, grace is said,
the kitchen smells of bread fresh baked;"
Artwork is humble and perfect for the simplicity of the meal he is eating. Marilyn
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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A beautifully written poem, Kim. The first three lines are wonderful, especially "grumbles" and since I'm a vegetarian (forget the meat part):
"So thankful for this daily bread,
as stomach grumbles, grace is said,
the kitchen smells of bread fresh baked;"
Artwork is humble and perfect for the simplicity of the meal he is eating. Marilyn
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Marilyn:
I have always loved this classic photograph. It was the first thing to pop into my mind when I saw the topic, and thus the poem had to be written. Thank you for this wonderful review.
Kim
Comment from Pantygynt
He couldn't have been a very good salesman if all he could afford was bread and soup. His manager will be after him to meet his target next month or else. THis form works best whern done like this, metrically in tetrameters. When i tried I wanted to include feminine endings though and you can't do that with only eight syllables to play with.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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He couldn't have been a very good salesman if all he could afford was bread and soup. His manager will be after him to meet his target next month or else. THis form works best whern done like this, metrically in tetrameters. When i tried I wanted to include feminine endings though and you can't do that with only eight syllables to play with.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Pantygynt:
Thank you for the excellent analysis. I'm not sure this man ever met his targets, but I'm sure he was thankful for what he had at the moment. I remembered this picture from when I was young and it was the first thing I thought of when I saw the topic. (That could be the carb cravings talking lol) I went to find the picture and wrote the poem. Perhaps topic driven, perhaps ekphrastic, or somewhere in between.
Kim
Comment from Dawn Munro
Okay - first I need to know how to count carbs. (LOL)
All kidding aside, Kim, this is lovely. Once again it is a poetry form with which I am unfamiliar, but perhaps some time I will attempt. So with your approval, I will shelve this as a wonderful example to follow.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Okay - first I need to know how to count carbs. (LOL)
All kidding aside, Kim, this is lovely. Once again it is a poetry form with which I am unfamiliar, but perhaps some time I will attempt. So with your approval, I will shelve this as a wonderful example to follow.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Dawn:
You are welcome to bookmark anything in my portfolio, past or future :)
www.myfitnesspal.com It is a database with a wealth of info, just type in what you want carb info on. My goal of 60 carbs per day (or less) doesn't include the carbs in vegetables. By this diet, those are considered 'free carbs,' because no one ever got fat eating carrots and lettuce! lol
I'm so happy you enjoyed and bookmarked this selection.
Kim
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
this is perfect and I love the way you brought out the smells that makes the stomach grumble as it always did before meal was served and the desire overwhelming.lol
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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this is perfect and I love the way you brought out the smells that makes the stomach grumble as it always did before meal was served and the desire overwhelming.lol
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Barb,
I'm happy that you enjoyed this selection. At first I debated whether bread was a fragrance, but decided to go with it lol Who can resist the aroma of fresh baked bread? Thanks for the great review.
Kim
Comment from Apostle Janos
The bread this verse in the bible refers to is of a spiritual nature but it is obviously an allusion to actual bread, nutritious substance that the body needs. It is a good thing to give meaning to everything we do, including eating and simple activities. I enjoyed this poem, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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The bread this verse in the bible refers to is of a spiritual nature but it is obviously an allusion to actual bread, nutritious substance that the body needs. It is a good thing to give meaning to everything we do, including eating and simple activities. I enjoyed this poem, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Apostle Yannaras:
I hoped to give this poem a deeper meaning than the fragrance of bread. If anyone gleans the simple appreciation for basic food that a man who is without will have for whatever he is spared then I am happy with my words. Thank you for the kind review.
Kim
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Nove Otto poem. I agree the smell of freshly baked bread and the aroma of a hearty soup on a winter's evening, the best flavors and filling food. My favorite dishes for winter soup or stew.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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A very well-written Nove Otto poem. I agree the smell of freshly baked bread and the aroma of a hearty soup on a winter's evening, the best flavors and filling food. My favorite dishes for winter soup or stew.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Sandra,
Mine, too! Thank you for the wonderful comments.
Kim
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Yes, the smell of fresh bread cooking in the oven especially on a cold day, really warms more than the tummy pangs. Love this old photo Kim, and a great choice for this fragrance topic.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Yes, the smell of fresh bread cooking in the oven especially on a cold day, really warms more than the tummy pangs. Love this old photo Kim, and a great choice for this fragrance topic.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Valda!
Thank you for all the lovely comments. I remembered the photo from when I was young. It was the first thing I thought of when I saw the topic. That, and what smells better than fresh bread? Thanks for the wonderful comments.
Kim
Comment from CD Richards
Very nice Nove Otto. The only tiny correction I would suggest is "stomach's" in the last line. I have seen a couple of potlatch entries, and they've been about flowers, so you did a good job of picking a different theme. Nicely done, good rhyme and rhythm :) Craig
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Very nice Nove Otto. The only tiny correction I would suggest is "stomach's" in the last line. I have seen a couple of potlatch entries, and they've been about flowers, so you did a good job of picking a different theme. Nicely done, good rhyme and rhythm :) Craig
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Craig,
I had stomach's originally (should have trusted my instincts lol) someone else suggested I go with stomachs, so I said ok I would do it as an experiment. Thanks for adding that to your review :) I should have stuck with it to begin with. I was thinking there would be a lot of flower pieces, too. And I love bread lol
Thanks, Craig!
Kim
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This writes how satisfactory it is to eat fresh baked bread when one is hungry; it is very well stated in this special form, I liked and enjoyed the universal truth.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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This writes how satisfactory it is to eat fresh baked bread when one is hungry; it is very well stated in this special form, I liked and enjoyed the universal truth.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Alcreator,
Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this selection. I appreciate your comments.
Kim
Comment from lyenochka
The photo looked familiar but I'm glad to know now what it is. Great rhymes, especially the third lines: of baked, slaked and ached. I'm impressed you can survive on 60 grams of carbs a day.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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The photo looked familiar but I'm glad to know now what it is. Great rhymes, especially the third lines: of baked, slaked and ached. I'm impressed you can survive on 60 grams of carbs a day.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi lyenochka:
Don't be impressed lol it is a goal (and basically vegetables represent 'free' carbs) But I lost 15 lbs in just over a month, so there must be something to limiting the carb intake. They add up super fast! Once you start realizing how many carbs are in the things we take for granted and eat daily, it truly makes you re-evaluate the food choices.
It is a famous photo. I remembered it from when I was young and went to find it while writing this poem. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Kim