Echoes of Artistry
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Juliet"NaPoWriMo 2017
25 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Oh yes, a great comparison bringing Juliet into the 21st century, and that would certainly leave poor old Romeo out in the cold, lonely. Love this one, very cleverly written Kim.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Oh yes, a great comparison bringing Juliet into the 21st century, and that would certainly leave poor old Romeo out in the cold, lonely. Love this one, very cleverly written Kim.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Valda,
Thank you for the thoughtful comments. I think it would leave Romeo out, too, no matter how persuasively he talked. This one was really just a bit of fun.
Kim
Comment from honeytree
The art work was very interesting
and the words written interesting
plenty of thought went into this poem
Loved the following.
"No Romeo is worth such tragedy,
and star-crossed love was never meant to be."
Honey tree
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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The art work was very interesting
and the words written interesting
plenty of thought went into this poem
Loved the following.
"No Romeo is worth such tragedy,
and star-crossed love was never meant to be."
Honey tree
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Annie,
Your six shiny stars has made me smile today. That is my favorite passage, too. I'm so happy that you enjoyed this modern day Juliet.
Kim
Comment from WalkerMan
This fine sonnet raises some interesting questions about how modern life might influence Juliet's response to Romeo. Coming from a wealthy family and able to afford and used to having the baubles you mention, it is entirely plausible that she would decline his advances -- particularly if her family and his were aligned with opposing political parties. Well done, and aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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This fine sonnet raises some interesting questions about how modern life might influence Juliet's response to Romeo. Coming from a wealthy family and able to afford and used to having the baubles you mention, it is entirely plausible that she would decline his advances -- particularly if her family and his were aligned with opposing political parties. Well done, and aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Mike,
You've touched on exactly what I was thinking. Your average teenage girls can't afford Prada, of course, but if we removed Juliet from her station in life then and brought her to a modern time, she'd likely be just as you mentioned, from a wealthy political family. At any rate, no man is worth suicide. Dying to save, yes, most certainly, but never killing yourself over.
Thank you for the thoughtful review. It is really good to hear from you.
Kim
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You are welcome, Kim. If she were from a leftist family and attending Berkeley, Romeo might never even have had a chance to speak to her.
Sorry, I've been busy finalizing my book. I'll be receiving the physical proof copy later this week. If I approve it, the book goes on sale at CreateSpace.com within hours. I'll be posting notice about it to offer my FanStorian friends like you a discount. -- Mike
Comment from lyenochka
LOL! That's very cute! It's true that while young teen girls still fall in love or get easily infatuated, today's women are very different from the Juliet of Shakespeare's writing. Thanks for the fun read.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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LOL! That's very cute! It's true that while young teen girls still fall in love or get easily infatuated, today's women are very different from the Juliet of Shakespeare's writing. Thanks for the fun read.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi lyenochka,
I'm happy to have given you a laugh. The message came shining through with the wit and that makes me smile. :) I appreciate the excellent review and comments.
Kim
Comment from Chrissy710
Ha Ha Kim This made me laugh and I loved your take on this through Ray banned starry eyes , loved it and you have given the sonnet a lift and made this a fun read but also sticking to the strict 10 syllable lines required With a interesting couplet that summed this up nicely. I am sure Shakespeare would approve. Cheers Christineð???ð???
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Ha Ha Kim This made me laugh and I loved your take on this through Ray banned starry eyes , loved it and you have given the sonnet a lift and made this a fun read but also sticking to the strict 10 syllable lines required With a interesting couplet that summed this up nicely. I am sure Shakespeare would approve. Cheers Christineð???ð???
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Chrissy,
I am happy to have made you laugh. I admit that I thought twice about posting a frivolous sonnet, as they are all usually so serious and flowery. I decided we'd go for a bit of a change lol So far it is doing well in the reviews, so I hope ol' Willy won't spend too much time rolling in his grave over what I've done to his beloved form. I appreciate the fun review!
Kim
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No he will be rolling over with laughter that someone has the gall to make a light hearted fun Sonnet we need more Still smiling Christine😃😃
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I think taking Juliet out of her place and trying to put her into ours did not so Shakesphere any justice. This was a totally different sonnet and one that i truly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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I think taking Juliet out of her place and trying to put her into ours did not so Shakesphere any justice. This was a totally different sonnet and one that i truly enjoyed.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Barb,
I try to steer clear of iambic pentameter whenever I can lol but I couldn't resist having a little of fun. I hope ol' Willy didn't mind too much. Thank you for the excellent review. I'm happy that you enjoyed this one.
Kim
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is wonderful, and yes, ol' Willy would probably roll over in his grave - LOL. I, on the other hand, LOVED it. I am grinning ear-to-ear. I hope it does really well in the contest, Kim - it's written perfectly, and so much fun!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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This is wonderful, and yes, ol' Willy would probably roll over in his grave - LOL. I, on the other hand, LOVED it. I am grinning ear-to-ear. I hope it does really well in the contest, Kim - it's written perfectly, and so much fun!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Dawn,
Thank you for the fantastic comments. I think ol' Willy liked to have some fun from time to time, so perhaps he'll look at this as a good chance to stretch for a minute while he rolls over in his grave lol I love the enthusiasm you shared in this review and appreciate the fun response.
Kim
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My pleasure. :)
Comment from Gloria ....
My word, I love this Kim. Especially the juxtapose of the antiquated vs the modern items. Who can get by without their ray bans in a brighter than bright sonnet between star-crossed lovers.
Excellent social commentary.
Best of luck to you in the contest with a uniquely brilliant entry.
Gloria
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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My word, I love this Kim. Especially the juxtapose of the antiquated vs the modern items. Who can get by without their ray bans in a brighter than bright sonnet between star-crossed lovers.
Excellent social commentary.
Best of luck to you in the contest with a uniquely brilliant entry.
Gloria
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Gloria,
It is so wonderful to have you reviewing. I always appreciate hearing from you and I'm so happy that you enjoyed the bit of fun I was having with this sonnet. Thank you so much for the wonderful comments.
Kim
Comment from rama devi
LOVE THE WIT in this! Delightful and entertaining spin off with modern notes! Love the rhymes and internal rhymes. Good phonetics and devices. Flawless meter (except one line noted below) and masterful crafting on composition and concepts and technical aspects except for PUNCTUATION which is awkward in a number of places (especially suing semicolons in the middle of continuing phrases.
Since this would otherwise lean to a six, I am giving five in spite of the nits noted below...but I do hope you edit, at least the spag.
NOTES and suggestions:
In twenty seventeen(,) would Juliet
*
Ray-Bans on starry eyes - would lens beget
RAY Bans not ray BANS - the scansion is forced on this line with unnatural accents. Here is an optional idea:
On Ray-Banned starry eyes - would lens beget
*
a look so clear;(no ; here) to see impending plight?
*
Would she have been much too preoccupied,
awkward reverse syntax here (not sure if it was a typo?) Suggest:
Would she have been too much preoccupied,
by joining other women on a march;(,)
to contemplate the role of teenage bride?
very well voiced and with great rhymes (note one spag):
Too busy reading Vogue and Seventeen;(,)
or various and sundry fashion mags,
in store fronts would she peek, in Ulta preen,
and shop online for trendy Prada bags?
Outstanding closing couplet--a perfect conclusion!
No Romeo is worth such tragedy,
and star-crossed love was never meant to be.
This should do well, dear Kim (if fine tuned).
A superb tribute! Love it!
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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LOVE THE WIT in this! Delightful and entertaining spin off with modern notes! Love the rhymes and internal rhymes. Good phonetics and devices. Flawless meter (except one line noted below) and masterful crafting on composition and concepts and technical aspects except for PUNCTUATION which is awkward in a number of places (especially suing semicolons in the middle of continuing phrases.
Since this would otherwise lean to a six, I am giving five in spite of the nits noted below...but I do hope you edit, at least the spag.
NOTES and suggestions:
In twenty seventeen(,) would Juliet
*
Ray-Bans on starry eyes - would lens beget
RAY Bans not ray BANS - the scansion is forced on this line with unnatural accents. Here is an optional idea:
On Ray-Banned starry eyes - would lens beget
*
a look so clear;(no ; here) to see impending plight?
*
Would she have been much too preoccupied,
awkward reverse syntax here (not sure if it was a typo?) Suggest:
Would she have been too much preoccupied,
by joining other women on a march;(,)
to contemplate the role of teenage bride?
very well voiced and with great rhymes (note one spag):
Too busy reading Vogue and Seventeen;(,)
or various and sundry fashion mags,
in store fronts would she peek, in Ulta preen,
and shop online for trendy Prada bags?
Outstanding closing couplet--a perfect conclusion!
No Romeo is worth such tragedy,
and star-crossed love was never meant to be.
This should do well, dear Kim (if fine tuned).
A superb tribute! Love it!
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi rd!
You are BRILLIANT! THANK YOU SO MUCH! :) I think my brain was so at odds over whether I was actually going to post a flippant sonnet that I just blew it on the punctuation. I've implemented all of your suggestions. I count myself lucky to have you review my poems. I hope you know how much I value and appreciate your opinion.
*Hugs*
Kim
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Aw, thanks for your glowing and gracious response, dear Kim. Glad to be of help/
Love and (((*hugs*)))
Comment from CD Richards
OK, you dragged it out of me - under protest, I might add, because it was my last or second last one, with a whole week to go. Don't expect any more this week!
Rhyme and meter are great - didn't even have to make allowances for your funny accent.
This is a scream, best of luck in the contest!
Craig
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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OK, you dragged it out of me - under protest, I might add, because it was my last or second last one, with a whole week to go. Don't expect any more this week!
Rhyme and meter are great - didn't even have to make allowances for your funny accent.
This is a scream, best of luck in the contest!
Craig
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Hi Craig,
I've been reviewing all of these serious and flowery sonnets for this contest. I think my brain just suddenly revolted! lol Let me go write on my calendar that I managed to drag a sixer out of you! :) I'll BRB! Whew! My pen was so shocked it would barely write! ;)
Thank you for a fun review, and NO, I don't have an accent ;) I appreciate the awesome comments.
Kim