Echoes of Artistry
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Unsettled"NaPoWriMo 2017
18 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You've done very well with this form Kim (I found it difficult) and to put your emotions into these stanzas. Your refrain lines tell the story all on their own. Thinking of you, hope the fires are soon out,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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You've done very well with this form Kim (I found it difficult) and to put your emotions into these stanzas. Your refrain lines tell the story all on their own. Thinking of you, hope the fires are soon out,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Valda,
The fire has finally burned down and the BLM guys were here today to say it is all out. Just sad for the neighbors. I have looked at this form every day since Tuesday... I finally wrapped my head around it. I'm glad you liked this selection. Thanks for the kind comments.
Kim
Comment from CD Richards
An excellent description of the anguish you felt at the disaster that befell your neighbours, and the feelings of helplessness it produced. Knowing you, I'm sure you would have offered what help you could. A very well written poem. I hope life gets back to some semblance of normality for your neighbours as soon as possible, and for yourself and James too.
Craig
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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An excellent description of the anguish you felt at the disaster that befell your neighbours, and the feelings of helplessness it produced. Knowing you, I'm sure you would have offered what help you could. A very well written poem. I hope life gets back to some semblance of normality for your neighbours as soon as possible, and for yourself and James too.
Craig
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Craig,
For the first critical minutes it was just Randy and I doing what we could to fight the fire, but everything went wrong :( so wrong. I really wish I could have done more, or that at least one thing would have worked for us. By the time others showed up with fire extinguishers it was too far out of hand. We'll talk soon. I just got the laptop back today and have it reloaded now. New hard drive :( Thank you for the thoughtful comments.
Kim
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Kim. Great job on this Trijan Refrain. It's the first time that I have seen this form.
I love that you have written it almost in a letter/diary style. It comes across as a very personal letter.
Very well written. You have conveyed your feelings of horror and helplessness extremely well. The repetition really emphasizes these feelings.
I'm glad to know that the fire was maintained just to your neighbor's home, but am sad to know that you feel the impact of the fire too.
How could you not. Your neighbour is lucky to have such a caring neighbour.
This is a sad write that reminds all that life doesn't always bump alkng the way we think it will. S** t happens. -- Connie
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Kim. Great job on this Trijan Refrain. It's the first time that I have seen this form.
I love that you have written it almost in a letter/diary style. It comes across as a very personal letter.
Very well written. You have conveyed your feelings of horror and helplessness extremely well. The repetition really emphasizes these feelings.
I'm glad to know that the fire was maintained just to your neighbor's home, but am sad to know that you feel the impact of the fire too.
How could you not. Your neighbour is lucky to have such a caring neighbour.
This is a sad write that reminds all that life doesn't always bump alkng the way we think it will. S** t happens. -- Connie
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Connie,
This is the Poetry Potlatch form this week. This is my first attempt, and I will admit that I've been looking at it since Tuesday and couldn't wrap my head around it. It finally clicked in my head. I'm happy that you enjoyed this one. Thank you for the thoughtful comments.
Kim
Comment from damommy
Very good expression of how you felt that night. It must have been frightful.
You met all the requirements of the form, with good rhyming and meter. I very much liked your repeated lines.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Very good expression of how you felt that night. It must have been frightful.
You met all the requirements of the form, with good rhyming and meter. I very much liked your repeated lines.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Yvonne:
I've been looking at this form since Tuesday and it finally clicked all the way in my head! lol Thank you for the challenge. :) I want to do one prose piece and hope that exorcises the rest of the fire images out of my head, too. Thank you for the thoughtful comments.
Kim
Comment from Mustang Patty
I can't even imagine what you are feeling. I can only send prayers and thoughts your way. I hope the smell dispels, but until a good rain comes, it may stick around for awhile. Hopefully, your writing will help you deal with the feelings,
~patty~
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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I can't even imagine what you are feeling. I can only send prayers and thoughts your way. I hope the smell dispels, but until a good rain comes, it may stick around for awhile. Hopefully, your writing will help you deal with the feelings,
~patty~
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Patty,
Thank you for all of the thoughtful comments. I want to do a prose piece that I hope will help me work out the rest of the initial feelings of helplessness anyways. I appreciate your response.
Kim
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
How poet could sit and write? Evident was the disturbance and it continued somehow or other, like stomach churned, the sky had fallen, heat prevailed, grief continued, fire burned; I liked the thought, enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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How poet could sit and write? Evident was the disturbance and it continued somehow or other, like stomach churned, the sky had fallen, heat prevailed, grief continued, fire burned; I liked the thought, enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Alcreator,
Thank you for taking the time to read and review. This has been a harrowing week, writing about it helps. I appreciate your comments.
Kim
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting Trijan Refrain you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Very expressive poem my friend. Blessings, Teri
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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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This is a very interesting Trijan Refrain you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Very expressive poem my friend. Blessings, Teri
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Teri,
Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate the kind comments.
Kim
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Trijan refrain and a sad undertone right through about the fire that destroyed the neighbor's house. It is never a great experience to witness a lifetime if memories destroyed.
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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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A very well-written Trijan refrain and a sad undertone right through about the fire that destroyed the neighbor's house. It is never a great experience to witness a lifetime if memories destroyed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2017
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Hi Sandra,
Thank you for the thoughtful comments. I appreciate your time and response.
Kim