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Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Chapter Siebzehn part eins"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

22 total reviews 
Comment from Walu Feral
Excellent
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G'day Barbara.

Yum, I love that picture.

"It's party day. I can't wait. Are the people here to do my nails?" Emily held up her hands for Shana to see." (She's funny and lively little one. She reminds me of Champers. Great start to this chapter.)

""Are you sure there's enough room? I don't like feeling like a sardine." Philip sat." (Me neither, but I have no choice here lol.)

I see she's still suffering from self-esteem issues. Hopefully, she'll learn that she's not a problem and it's all just from her past. I had to and it helps.

Another very well written chapter. I always enjoy your work, mate.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
    Thank you for the kind and funny review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I find nothing wrong with this story or the way it is written. Dialog is good and interesting. I must confess. Because of my missing much of this write I find it hard to enter once again. I have learned much from your style of writing. Hope you well. My blessings to you Barbara. Hope you and the family had a wonderful Thanksgiving..

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
    Thank you for the constant encouragement.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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Another good chapter. This remains interesting.
I'm looking forward to the party.
And your picture of the breakfast pizza has made my tummy grumble.
You don't have a recipe, do you?
Sharon

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
    LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Anderson has made a decision to hold a dinner, although paradoxically he doesn't like them. Of course Emily wants to stay up late, but of course she won't be able to, because she's a kid, well done, the story is progressing nicely, well done. Barbara, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 27-Nov-2017
    Welcome Barbara
Comment from Rasmine
Excellent
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Hello!!
It's been a while since you posted, or I have seen it. I did have a spell where I was erasing things ... I couldn't keep up.
That breakfast pizza looks so delicious! :D
Hey, take care. Until the next chapter.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    I am hoping you're doing well. I haven't seen your reviews for a while. I post every Sunday. Thank you for stopping by.
    S
Comment from c_lucas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It would take a master of disguises to invade a party of thirty. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by c_lucas on 26-Nov-2017
    My pleasure, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Barb
You know how to make the part with Emily and the excellent way of telling us about the upcoming dinner party and now the suspense of security guards will be roaming around during the party 'cause of Anderson he doesn't like the idea of strangers in the house.

Gert

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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I agree, I don't like the idea of so many strangers in the house. I hope the security is good and that everything goes smoothly. It does sound like a lot of work and I understand why Drew doesn't like dinner parties. I don't think I'd like to have to plan one either. Nice job with this one. I look forward to the next installment.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    Thank you for the kind review. I had problems just having my own children and their families come for Thanksgiving. I loved it the preparations were horrible.
reply by Sasha on 26-Nov-2017
    My mother loved preparing for large family dinners. Not me...I enjoyed eating the food but not the preparations.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Barbara,

Another well-composed chapter, building on your story-line. This one is setting the stage for bigger things to come, I guess. *smile* Well done.

Just a few notes, if I may?

1.) "Are you sure there's enough room(?) I don't like

2.) It may be a style choice, B, but I feel, by the way the following sentences are worded, they are still including these lines as speech tags, of a sort.
--> "That's not fair(,)" Emily pouted.
--> "I'm sure he did(,)" Philip chuckled.

3.) "So this could easily get out of control."
--> just used 'easily' in the previous sentence.

4.) Emily stays pretty close to you so Thor will be there(,) too.

5.) After making a phone call, he added, "Jeff, has added a
--> no need for the comma after 'Jeff'

Thanks!


 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    I made all the corrections except the pouted and chuckled. Neither is a speech tag so can't use commas. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi, Barb

= Good chapter with Anderson emphasizing his dislike for strangers in his house--and rightfully so.
= Always enjoy the little one getting her two cents worth in there as well.
= Good end hook with Shana feeling as if she's the cause of so much trouble.

=> FYI: To avoid using =that= twice in the same short sentence, you may want to rephrase for a smoother read.
= That's fourteen plus the six of us that's twenty.
=SUGGEST=
- That's fourteen plus the six, makes twenty.
- There are fourteen, plus six, which makes twenty.

Cheers, J
*** Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! ***
(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*>*)


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 Comment Written 26-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2017
    You're correct and I made the change. I appreciate the help.
reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 26-Nov-2017
    You're very welcome.
    Glad I was helpful. (*<*)