Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Little Pumper Heart"Assorted poetry
18 total reviews
Comment from damommy
I see your heart beats faster as you speak of your valentine. I like the alliteration and consonance of the 'm' in chambers, rump, pumps.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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I see your heart beats faster as you speak of your valentine. I like the alliteration and consonance of the 'm' in chambers, rump, pumps.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, da, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks state of the heart, feeling of romantic music, pump the heart for the Valentine; well said, well done; good luck with the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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This speaks state of the heart, feeling of romantic music, pump the heart for the Valentine; well said, well done; good luck with the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, ALD, for the great review. Bill
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hey, Bill. Your little Valentines poem is a bit different. We all talk about the heart, but seldom link that symbol of love to the actual physical organ pumping blood around the body.
Your rump-pa-pa pumps adds a lot of energy to the poem.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Hey, Bill. Your little Valentines poem is a bit different. We all talk about the heart, but seldom link that symbol of love to the actual physical organ pumping blood around the body.
Your rump-pa-pa pumps adds a lot of energy to the poem.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Steve, for the great review. Bill
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Very good indeed, and an excellent play upon the word 'chambers'.
Best of luck in the contest, and very strong entry. Nothing at all to suggest.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Very good indeed, and an excellent play upon the word 'chambers'.
Best of luck in the contest, and very strong entry. Nothing at all to suggest.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, James, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We have associated our ove with the hearts pounding beat because it races when we see someone we love, a clever and atmospheric write, good luck with the contest Bill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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We have associated our ove with the hearts pounding beat because it races when we see someone we love, a clever and atmospheric write, good luck with the contest Bill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Dolly
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, you went for the onomatopoeic effect for your valentine poem. Good use of alliteration (pa-pa pumps) and internal rhymes (rump - pump) too. Musical one.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Ah, you went for the onomatopoeic effect for your valentine poem. Good use of alliteration (pa-pa pumps) and internal rhymes (rump - pump) too. Musical one.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thank you, lyenochka, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from mandyjpg
i love the way the letters get larger with the onomatopoeia in your poem. it shows the reader visually that the heart really is beating, which i think is very unique. it kind of reminds me of the little drummer boy song, lol. anyways , nice work! very cute! good luck!
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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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i love the way the letters get larger with the onomatopoeia in your poem. it shows the reader visually that the heart really is beating, which i think is very unique. it kind of reminds me of the little drummer boy song, lol. anyways , nice work! very cute! good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, mandy
Comment from Teri7
Bill, This is a very cute and well written 5-7-5 poem you have penned for the valentines contest. You used very cute wording and good imagery with the art work. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Bill, This is a very cute and well written 5-7-5 poem you have penned for the valentines contest. You used very cute wording and good imagery with the art work. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Teri