A Potpourri of Poetic Curiosities
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "On the outside looking in"A collection of poems showcasing unusual words
16 total reviews
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The work reminisces the functional perspective of two long distance monitoring devices used by aliens and humans respectively. While that of the aliens explore every nook and crannies, that of the humans explore only their exteriors, thus, leaving their interiors; the field of heinous human activities without exploration.
The work highlights the perceived irony of activities explored by the devices used by humans and how a change of purview with a bias for exploring their interiors,hitherto neglected could lead to an exposition that would degrade evil machinations and inundate the world with the greater good.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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The work reminisces the functional perspective of two long distance monitoring devices used by aliens and humans respectively. While that of the aliens explore every nook and crannies, that of the humans explore only their exteriors, thus, leaving their interiors; the field of heinous human activities without exploration.
The work highlights the perceived irony of activities explored by the devices used by humans and how a change of purview with a bias for exploring their interiors,hitherto neglected could lead to an exposition that would degrade evil machinations and inundate the world with the greater good.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Thanks very much for the thoughtful review, and the kind comments. All the best, Craig
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An alien's perspective on our life on earth, I reckon they wouldn't touch us with a bare pole after taking a look at our antics. Your poem is raw and real and speaks with an honest tongue, great rhyming words and use of language, I am always learning so much from your writes and new words, great stuff, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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An alien's perspective on our life on earth, I reckon they wouldn't touch us with a bare pole after taking a look at our antics. Your poem is raw and real and speaks with an honest tongue, great rhyming words and use of language, I am always learning so much from your writes and new words, great stuff, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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I'm glad you're getting something out of it too :) Thanks for the wonderful review - Craig
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Very nice, as ever :)
And a sonnet too, I've very much been in a sonnet mood, recently.
Nothing at all to fault, an excellent read.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Very nice, as ever :)
And a sonnet too, I've very much been in a sonnet mood, recently.
Nothing at all to fault, an excellent read.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Thanks very much. Sonnets are fun :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding sonnet. Superb thematic intensity, flawless meter, fine rhymes, fine phonetics in phrasing and good fluid flow, which could be improved slightly in the first stanza with these changes:
From high above the earth, it gazes far;
across the cosmos, into reaches vast.(,)
R(r)evealing truths of who and where we are;(,)
unlocking new found secrets of the past.
One more spag suggestion:
The telescope helps put us in our place,(no ,)
as insects on the universal stage.
Stand out lines:
Some creatures that we call the human race
are but a smudge on time's eternal page.
Superb volta = unique and compelling:
But what if in some oddball quirk of fate
some space junk hit the instrument, and then
its gaze was turned back on our planet great,
to view the antics of this mob of men?
Fantastic closing couplet--hits the mark, and makes excellent use of that interesting word, too!
Bravo.
Oh, and superb consonance of L as well as B:
Would it lament what's going on below--
this pointless, angry, futile hubbleshow?
NO sixes left.
A great presentation!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Outstanding sonnet. Superb thematic intensity, flawless meter, fine rhymes, fine phonetics in phrasing and good fluid flow, which could be improved slightly in the first stanza with these changes:
From high above the earth, it gazes far;
across the cosmos, into reaches vast.(,)
R(r)evealing truths of who and where we are;(,)
unlocking new found secrets of the past.
One more spag suggestion:
The telescope helps put us in our place,(no ,)
as insects on the universal stage.
Stand out lines:
Some creatures that we call the human race
are but a smudge on time's eternal page.
Superb volta = unique and compelling:
But what if in some oddball quirk of fate
some space junk hit the instrument, and then
its gaze was turned back on our planet great,
to view the antics of this mob of men?
Fantastic closing couplet--hits the mark, and makes excellent use of that interesting word, too!
Bravo.
Oh, and superb consonance of L as well as B:
Would it lament what's going on below--
this pointless, angry, futile hubbleshow?
NO sixes left.
A great presentation!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Hi RD,
Thanks so much for the wonderfully kind and most helpful review.
I've been told a number of times (quite correctly) I write sentences that are too long in my stories - I guess that is why I tend to try not to create stanzas that are all one long sentence. However, prose is prose, and poetry is poetry. I accept your suggestions with thanks, and have made all the changes you indicated.
Much obliged,
Craig
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:-))))))
Comment from Gloria ....
How brilliant to build your sonnet around part of your core word, the Hubble Space Telescope. Now that is poetry right there. A little or bigger picture look at ourselves and the ANTics we get up to might be just the thing to motivate us to change our ways.
Oh wait, what was I thinking? lol.
Excellent metre and rhymes and I wish you well in the contest but you're not in one.
Gloria
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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How brilliant to build your sonnet around part of your core word, the Hubble Space Telescope. Now that is poetry right there. A little or bigger picture look at ourselves and the ANTics we get up to might be just the thing to motivate us to change our ways.
Oh wait, what was I thinking? lol.
Excellent metre and rhymes and I wish you well in the contest but you're not in one.
Gloria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Thanks muchly, Gloria. I'm counting on your vote for the contest I'm not in :) Cheers, Craig
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You can count on not getting it! This was awesome. :)
Comment from Debbie Pope
I am impressed with the idea of a Hubbleshow. How clever. I am even more impressed with your rhymes. They are so expertly done. Perfect word choices. No rhymes are forced. Fine job. Better than fine.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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I am impressed with the idea of a Hubbleshow. How clever. I am even more impressed with your rhymes. They are so expertly done. Perfect word choices. No rhymes are forced. Fine job. Better than fine.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Thank you for for the kind and generous comments, Debbie. Much appreciated - Craig