Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Craig;
Wow - a great use of the loop poetic form to tell a tale of vast proportions. I like the use of the fire to guide the lover across the water, but when the light is dashed by the storm, he is lost.

Great use of your new word and a lovely poem to boot!

Thank you for sharing,

~patty~

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thanks very much for the wonderful comments, Patty - greatly appreciated. Craig

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Loop Poetry writing prompt.
Your verse is well looped and the story clear and well told.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thanks, Sharon, for the kind review. Much appreciated - Craig

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written loop poem/story about a hero who tried to safe his life but lost his life after he was caught in a devastating storm and the song of a siren that leads him off course.

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thank you very much Sandra. Most appreciated - Craig

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

This is well done. Excellent loop work. Excellent abcb rhymes. Excellent use of your word for the day - transnate. I read the perfect loop poem has the last word of the poem be the same as the first word of the poem to complete the loop. I don't think that is a contest requirement, but it was something I wanted to do. This is also an excellent story poem. Best wishes in the contest.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Yes, I saw that some "purists" like it to be that way, but it wasn't a requirement for this contest, so I let the story start and end where it felt natural in this case. Many thanks for the lovely comments, Joy.

Comment from Mary Hollingsworth

Excellent

CD what a heroic and epic poem about the dynamic episodes of such a man of valor and bravery. I love your particular style in the use of your words. This writing has much drama included and for the lady to jump from a tower. And instead of saying she died. I love the poetic phrase. Her life ended there. Very good writing or should I say story

 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thank you very much for the delightful comments, Mary. I really appreciate them - Craig

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

I'm not particularly fond of the word, wow, ---but WOW! that is really good. I had heard of Hero and Leander and knew it was a sad tale, but not the particulars. and I did not know the word, transnate. Now, if I can just remember it.
This is a very well written example of Loop poetry, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and indeed a sort of poetic curiosity.
Katharine - pome lover

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 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

Thank you, Katharine, for the very kind assessment. I'm pleased you enjoyed my poem :) Craig

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Good myth. I'd never heard of Hero and Leander, and even after reading this, I'm not sure which is male and which is female or if they're gay. Why not say Joe and Debbie to make it easier for confused readers like me? :)

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 Comment Written 02-May-2018

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reply by the author on 02-May-2018

The girl is the Hero, of course. Many thanks :) Craig