Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

CD,

What a cool idea! I thick I have run across a few of these words in your series - and your pieces dedicated to them -- but as a word lover, they always tease, please, surprise and inspire. I enjoy learning about these new and obscure words. Yay!

I have only one note/suggestion to remark on: (and it's probably a matter of opinion, only)
1.) Imagine if before you'd sighted land,
you knew on solid ground you soon would stand.
--> in the beginning of the poem, you seem to describe the feelings of a person who's standing on the land looking out toward the horizon where the 'ghost' ships should appear.
--> in the second couplet in this stanza, you've changed perspectives to that of the crew, perhaps, on the ships, themselves. This caused me to pause a moment and think the scene through for clarity. (Yes, only a moment, but it did stop my flow.)
--> to continue in the same vein, I might suggest:

***

If only nauscopy were really true,
we'd know of ships ere they sailed into view.
Imagine if before (they'd) sighted land,
you knew on solid ground (they) soon would stand.

***

Just a thought - and your to use or toss as you wish. Certainly not enough of an issue to affect the rating. I enjoyed!

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 Comment Written 28-May-2018

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reply by the author on 28-May-2018

Hi Robyn,

Firstly, thanks for stopping by! I am always happy to see your name in the reviewers list. I think I've probably done a poor job with the stanza you mention. The word "nauscopy" basically describes two things, which are in effect the same, but perceived differently. One is the ability to "see" a ship that is over the horizon from land (or presumably, another ship), the other is to see land that is over the horizon from on board a ship. So I was actually trying to describe both these situations - hence the change of perspective. I think you have assumed I was referring to the same thing. It probably needs a clearer explanation than those four lines offer, so you're right.

Thanks so much for the kind words of encouragement - Craig

reply by robyn corum on 28-May-2018

Thanks for understanding my comments, Craig. I have that very small brain, you know. *smile* It hinders me a lot.

reply by the author on 28-May-2018

I give up. That's twice in the space of an hour or so I've got into trouble for actually agreeing with something a reviewer said, and attempting to convey that I really appreciated the comments.

Please accept my revised response:

"Thank you for reviewing my work."

reply by robyn corum on 28-May-2018

But wait... I thought we WERE in agreement. hahaha! That's why I was saying thanks for taking my comments so well and for seeming to UNDERSTAND them. So many people don't take kindly to what reviewers have to say at times. Sorry if there was a misunderstanding. *smile*

Comment from johnwilson

Excellent

You just keep these amazing pieces coming. It would take me so long to capture half of what you did in this poem. AND, that's just for one day! I loved the last stanza the best, possibly because I so agree with it; however, having said that, I think the whole piece shines with wonderful rhymes (how do you think in those rhymes that seem to come out so easily?) Publish-worthy!

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 Comment Written 28-May-2018

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reply by the author on 28-May-2018

Thanks once again for the very kind words of encouragement, John. I really appreciate them. I don't find rhymes difficult, but you should see me struggle trying to write a free-verse poem lol. Most grateful - Craig