Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Excellent job on this one, my friend. A really wonderful comparison in a very enjoyable poem and a great picture to enjoy also.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, FB, for the great review. Bill

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

The overal tenor of this tanka is great. Perfectly coherent and with a clear message. The third line relates to both parts of the piec so acrts as a pivot. i amnot entirely sure it is capable of standing alone or as a satori to the first two lines, like too many of mine i fear. These things are more difficult than they at first appear.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, P, for the great review. Bill

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Whoa Bill. You are scaring me, I am not accustomed to this Bill. Where are the wildlife references, the loony, loopy escapades of Ned and Pons? This serious Bill Schott is a new guy, one I am not that familiar with. He seems nice enough, but I have to spend some time getting to know him. As for your submission, it is interestingly deep and pensive enough to cause me distress as I struggle to put it into perspective and absorb its message and meaning. Good job.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, nomi, for the great review. Bill

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Very nice photo, Bill.
-Syllable count is good.
-The first two lines set
the scene well.
-An effective pivot line.
-The concluding lines are also good.
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, Pam, for the great review. Bill

reply by Pam (respa) on 29-Jun-2018

You are welcome, Bill.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

A serene and meaningful Tanka and I wish you luck with the contest, your grandson has such beautiful big eyes! A resonating Tanka with warm sentiments Bill, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, Dolly, for the great review. Bill

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

A-w-w-www...what a cute little lad Liam is, Bill.
I'll bet 'cha ten to one he's his Grandpaw's pride and joy, too.
Good tanka, your syllable count is spot on.
I hope you fare well with the judges.
~Dean :)

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, Dean, for the great review. Bill

reply by Dean Kuch on 29-Jun-2018

You're more than welcome, Bill.
Have a nice weekend and a Happy 4th of July.
~Dean :)

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Aw such a beautiful photo, Bill. And your tanka is a perfect match. Your little grandson looks most wise and he must quite enjoy all your prankas.

Excellent selfie and poem and I wish you all good luck in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, Gloria, for the kind review. Liam isn?t reading yet, but prefers looking at animal pictures and making their sounds.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your tanka is in good form, Bill. Good job on it style. Your few words/syllables as required tell of a lifetime of living--it is implied. Your picture is beautiful--what a cutie Liam is-- & a perfect pairing with your well-chosen words. Best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2018

Thanks, Jan, for the great review. Bill

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Your grandson Liam resembles you in the photograph. Thank you for sharing him, especially since my son is a forty-one-year-old bachelor! Yes, as your tanka describes, time flies. Best wishes in the contest with this soulful poem- Joan

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, Joan, for the the great review. Bill

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Exceptional

like child to adult;
then, after the brief darkness...
dawn begins eternity.

Wow, very deep and insightful. This looks like a winner to me. I have my fingers twisted into knots. Good luck! :)

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, Phyllis, for the kind review and good thought. Bill