Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

I enjoyed this immensely! Unique and fun twist on a epic disaster. I look back on some of my own disasters and I can laugh and learn. Most of of the time I wonder--what was I thinking? You did a fine job with this!
Kind regards,
Sally

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

Thankfully, most of disasters don't cause the destruction this one did! Many thanks, Sally, for the lovely comments -- Craig

reply by Sally Law on 06-Oct-2018

You?re welcome!

Comment from Loredana

Excellent

Another amazing poem that has a real story behind it. I enjoy your poems and I'm learning a lot while reading them. Though the topic is serious in itself, the choice of words and how you put them together makes it enjoyable.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

Thanks very much for the most kind words. I think a lot of songs and nursery rhymes we learn as children have bad stories behind them. Most grateful -- Craig

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Love this hyphenated word, very descriptive, and a great story about Mrs O'Leary and her cow, and finishing off with a moral - don't leave a lantern alight in the shed.
Enjoyed reading this one Craig,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

Thanks so much, Valda. Most appreciated, once again -- Craig

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Excellent moral! Good story-style with fine flow and rhyming except for one line:

sometimes things that are done that no one can take back.


Remove the both THATs.

sometimes things are done no one can take back.

*

Who knew just how many poor souls would expire,
when with her cow's help, Catherine started a fire?


Good rhymes and voicing here and alliteraiton as well, but I recommend alternative punctuation:

Who knew just how many poor souls would expire
when, with her cow's help, Catherine started a fire?


Or you can also keep the first comma as well, if you prefer:


Who knew just how many poor souls would expire,
when, with her cow's help, Catherine started a fire?

Unique theme. Fun word.

Warm Smiles,
rd


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

Hi, RD!

In line two, the first "that" was definitely a mistake. Fingers going faster than brain :) However, I had to leave the second one, to maintain the correct syllable count and stress. Also, added the comma after "when".

Many thanks, once again, for the great tips. I will try for a thumbs up, but I don't think it will let me. I'm most grateful, in any case.

Craig

reply by rama devi on 06-Oct-2018

Ah yes - okay!

;-))))

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

I guess something didn't come across the way I intended. Sorry.

reply by rama devi on 06-Oct-2018

Not at all. I know it was a tragic thing but the satirical wit adds an element of humor t it. I personally like combining humor with more serious subjects.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem about our careless acts that sometimes have very bad consequences for not only the careless person but for many innocent people.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

Thanks so much, Sandra. Much appreciated once again. Craig