The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Kayla's Story - continued"A Novel
29 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Helen still seems to be too trusting of Jeanne despite hearing Kayla's story. You've moved the story along well through dialogue, and it reads very naturally, I can almost hear the conversation as I read it. (if that makes sense). Well done Tony,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Helen still seems to be too trusting of Jeanne despite hearing Kayla's story. You've moved the story along well through dialogue, and it reads very naturally, I can almost hear the conversation as I read it. (if that makes sense). Well done Tony,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 13-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Valda. I particularly appreciate your comments about the dialogue. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent part, Tony. Well, a lot came out here, and I think Helen would be wise to listen to Charles and Kayla regarding Jeanne. I don't trust her, either. Loved the 'tensed like a wildcat,' can't get any tenser than that! LOL. Lots of excellent imagery and the story is moving along wonderfully. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Excellent part, Tony. Well, a lot came out here, and I think Helen would be wise to listen to Charles and Kayla regarding Jeanne. I don't trust her, either. Loved the 'tensed like a wildcat,' can't get any tenser than that! LOL. Lots of excellent imagery and the story is moving along wonderfully. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Very many thanks for your supportive review and for the sixth star. Much appreciated, as always. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A well written piece and I haven't been following the story, but I have enjoyed this clip Tony, you have a talent for writing and this easy read was much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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A well written piece and I haven't been following the story, but I have enjoyed this clip Tony, you have a talent for writing and this easy read was much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Many thanks for this lovely review, Dolly. Appreciated. Tony.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
> happy holidays, Tony, it seems like Kayla is spelling it out, of why she had a good time to leave Helen a note in Bangkok. That was because she was on the run and the authorities were already at Kayla's flat so she couldn't get her things or leave a message. That was close.
> Very good job, Tony, explaining everything and tying everything in together from these past presentations up to the present.
> I like how everything's tying together.
> Below, Tony, is an issue I wanted to discuss with you that I found by looking up in dictionaries the different aspects of writing universally compared to the following.
AUSTRALIAN vs. AMERICAN vs. OXFORD DIC, vs. KING'S ENGLISH
> there are many things that Australian writers utilize differently than American writers and that goes also with the Queen's English.
> But when I read books that are nationally known, their grammar is aesthetically
universal.
> These are the things I found out to be universal: 1.) There is usually a comma before the words AS except for when it's used in a comparison passage. 2.) Universally a comma candor cannot be used before the word of conjunction AND,
where Oxford dictionary says you can or you cannot use that it depends entirely up to you. This holds true for a comma before the word BECAUSE.
>"A look of concern crossed Helen's face(COMMA) as Kayla staggered to her feet..."
>"...and coarser(COMMA) as the journey ..."
> Thanks for sharing this, Tony, a radio and your family have a blessed and merry Christmas and a glorious and stupendous new year.
>Alx
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Cheers, Tony;
> happy holidays, Tony, it seems like Kayla is spelling it out, of why she had a good time to leave Helen a note in Bangkok. That was because she was on the run and the authorities were already at Kayla's flat so she couldn't get her things or leave a message. That was close.
> Very good job, Tony, explaining everything and tying everything in together from these past presentations up to the present.
> I like how everything's tying together.
> Below, Tony, is an issue I wanted to discuss with you that I found by looking up in dictionaries the different aspects of writing universally compared to the following.
AUSTRALIAN vs. AMERICAN vs. OXFORD DIC, vs. KING'S ENGLISH
> there are many things that Australian writers utilize differently than American writers and that goes also with the Queen's English.
> But when I read books that are nationally known, their grammar is aesthetically
universal.
> These are the things I found out to be universal: 1.) There is usually a comma before the words AS except for when it's used in a comparison passage. 2.) Universally a comma candor cannot be used before the word of conjunction AND,
where Oxford dictionary says you can or you cannot use that it depends entirely up to you. This holds true for a comma before the word BECAUSE.
>"A look of concern crossed Helen's face(COMMA) as Kayla staggered to her feet..."
>"...and coarser(COMMA) as the journey ..."
> Thanks for sharing this, Tony, a radio and your family have a blessed and merry Christmas and a glorious and stupendous new year.
>Alx
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Thanks for this review, Alex, and for your information about the use of commas. If in doubt, I usually ask myself if I am really asking the reader to pause momentarily at that point.
Comment from Spitfire
Taking a bottle cap off with teeth! I'd leave that dame alone. Imagine what she could rip off from your body. LOL
The tight dialogue sounds good for a movie spy story.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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Taking a bottle cap off with teeth! I'd leave that dame alone. Imagine what she could rip off from your body. LOL
The tight dialogue sounds good for a movie spy story.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2018
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I?ve seen it done, but I wasn?t ever game to try it! Not possible now, anyway. Not enough teeth left. LOL
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed this chapter, Tony. I liked learning about Kayla. You included some great info of how Jeanne is connected to the theme/plot. The ending allows for several more storylines. Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
skeptical is this UK spelling? or should it be skeptical?
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
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I enjoyed this chapter, Tony. I liked learning about Kayla. You included some great info of how Jeanne is connected to the theme/plot. The ending allows for several more storylines. Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
skeptical is this UK spelling? or should it be skeptical?
Comment Written 12-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Jan. The UK spelling is 'sceptical'. I appreciate your positive comments and encouragement. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is all coming together and I really like it. You are always keeping me on the edge of my seat. Your writing is excellent. Once again, you did a good job.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
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This is all coming together and I really like it. You are always keeping me on the edge of my seat. Your writing is excellent. Once again, you did a good job.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
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Thanks very much, Barbara, for awarding six stars for this chapter. Most generous! I appreciate your positive comments and encouragement. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony. This is another good chapter for your French letter novel.
Good imagery, like this: "The only answer was a flushing toilet. Kayla emerged soon afterwards, somewhat dishevelled, and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand."
Excellent dialogue back and forth.
Suggestions: "sceptical" is this the way it is spelled by the British?"
Because generally we spell it "skeptical" here in the Colonies.
And: ""I tensed like a wildcat, then took the beer from him ...."
I do not think this is a good similie, my friend. Tension and wildcat do not go together very well. Try, "I was tense, but took the beer from him.."
Good job, my friend. Happy Holidays. Bob
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Hi, Tony. This is another good chapter for your French letter novel.
Good imagery, like this: "The only answer was a flushing toilet. Kayla emerged soon afterwards, somewhat dishevelled, and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand."
Excellent dialogue back and forth.
Suggestions: "sceptical" is this the way it is spelled by the British?"
Because generally we spell it "skeptical" here in the Colonies.
And: ""I tensed like a wildcat, then took the beer from him ...."
I do not think this is a good similie, my friend. Tension and wildcat do not go together very well. Try, "I was tense, but took the beer from him.."
Good job, my friend. Happy Holidays. Bob
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Thanks for another encouraging review, Bob. Much appreciated. Yes, sceptical is the UK/Aus spelling. I?ll take a look at the wildcat. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a good continuation of Kayla, Helen and Charles' story. The narrative is going at a good clip and is not stagnant anywhere. It is keeping me interested with the good descriptions and dialogue. Well done.
Melissa
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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This is a good continuation of Kayla, Helen and Charles' story. The narrative is going at a good clip and is not stagnant anywhere. It is keeping me interested with the good descriptions and dialogue. Well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Thanks for your encouraging review, Melissa. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, I had to look up ocker but you provided the definition in your notes! Thanks for that. And I agree with Charles! Helen should be much more wary of Jeanne.
I like how you show us strong and capable female characters in your story. Great job with this post as well.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Oh, I had to look up ocker but you provided the definition in your notes! Thanks for that. And I agree with Charles! Helen should be much more wary of Jeanne.
I like how you show us strong and capable female characters in your story. Great job with this post as well.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Thanks for another encouraging review, Helen. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony