Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Loved the message to live well and invest in the ones we love and I immediatelty recognized one of my favorite psalms - by Moses. Abbozzo looks Italian to me and would be appropriate given other art terms from Italian.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Hi Helen,

It is indeed of Italian origin , and is derived from bozza, which originally meant a lump of rock, or roughly hewn stone.

Thanks for the lovely comments.

Craig

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Craig, This is a very well written poem you have penned about our lifespan here on this earth. You used very good descriptive words and very nice imagery with the lovely art work. I enjoyed reading and reviewing. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Thanks very much for the lovely comments, Teri. I'm most grateful for your kind words. Craig

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Exceptional

This is a great word ... "abbozzo"! I'm going to remember this one and use it.

Very well written and thought out, Craig. I suspect that some of your religious readers will not agree with the sentiments expressed here, but I think you hit the nail on the head. I especially love "The only part of us that still survives is stored within the minds of loves and friends" ... my favorite part. Your concluding couplet is very strong ... "The prize you seek's already underway" ... Amen! Six-star worthy in my opinion! Great job.

Cheers,
Connie

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the stellar rating and the extremely kind comments, Connie. My religious readers may not agree, but they'll get over it ;-) It is a great word, isn't it? It sounds to me like something one would shout before swinging on a rope into a melee, sword flashing. Many thanks, once again. Craig

reply by bichonfrisegirl on 13-Dec-2018

LOL ... I pictured much the same thing, Craig. As "abbozzo" first brought visions of Zorro. :)

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This is excellent. I like your new word 'abbozzo.' I don't think there are any trial runs. You sum it up perfectly here:
"The prize you seek's already underway,
so learn to make the most of each new day."
Marilyn

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Thanks very much, Marilyn. It's a fun word, I think. Cheers, Craig

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I so agree with your sentiments here and I liked the used of your new word. Life is no rehearsal as they say, this is the real deal and we need to enjoy every second! Wise words, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the kind words, Dolly. Yes, we agree. 'The pursuit of happiness' is a worthwhile goal. Cheers, Craig

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

Craig you have crafted a beautiful sonnet about our lives as we live them. Like you, I find each day meaningful and a part of the plan of God. Thanks for sharing. Your sonnet form is perfect and flows deliciously downwards to a calm ending.

Melissa

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 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Thanks very much for the lovely comments, Melissa. Glad you were able to relate :) Cheers, Craig

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Abbozzo - what a fascinating word! This is an excellent sonnet--penetrating and thoughtful.

I especially enjoyed the very clever rhymes and alliteration and word choices in this (my favorite) stanza:


I don't believe my life's a practice run--
a weak abbozzo, just a passing phase;
a mere test drive, and soon to be outdone,(.)
s(S)uch thoughts would lead me into a malaise.

Line three, however, has glaring forced scansion on test drive, to me ear. I also suggest a period in line three (as noted above).

Touching volta stanza...so true:

The thing that brings true meaning to our lives
is surely that one day we reach the end.
The only part of us that still survives
is stored within the minds of loves and friends.

Oustanding closing couplet:

The prize you seek's already underway,
so learn to make the most of each new day.

Almost a six. Bravo!

Warmly,
rd

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 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018

Hi RD,

I agree with your comments about line three. That's now fixed (I hope). Also, I've split the sentences, as you suggest.

I'm grateful for the helpful advice, and the lovely comments.

Craig

reply by rama devi on 12-Dec-2018

Always happy to be of help, dear Craig. Thanks for your kind response.

Best,
rd

PS yes--fixed!