Miscellaneous Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Fade to Black"Poems not in other books
55 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello CD,
You've written an excellent sonnet for the contest
with excellent exact rhymes and solid meter,
good turn in the third stanza and very fine reflective couplet.
The theme of the spider and fly, moth and candle is well known,
but you've used them effectively as metaphor
This should be very competitive in the contest
Best wishes to you
Robert
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Hello CD,
You've written an excellent sonnet for the contest
with excellent exact rhymes and solid meter,
good turn in the third stanza and very fine reflective couplet.
The theme of the spider and fly, moth and candle is well known,
but you've used them effectively as metaphor
This should be very competitive in the contest
Best wishes to you
Robert
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Thank you very much for the delightful comments, Robert. I also appreciate the good luck wishes. Most grateful, Craig
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Interesting artwork, Craig.
-A well written sonnet on a good topic
with comparisons with the moth,
spider, flame, and love.
-The first verse sets up the situation
of losing liberty by being cast in a web.
-You then pose a question about not
understanding consequences of our "errant ways."
-The volta follows very well from
the previous stanza, as he has to depart.
-I also like the use of enjambment.
-The couplet is very good, as I think he is saying
he will be fading "into the refuge of the night" like the moth.
-It also takes the reader back to the opening of the sonnet.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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-Interesting artwork, Craig.
-A well written sonnet on a good topic
with comparisons with the moth,
spider, flame, and love.
-The first verse sets up the situation
of losing liberty by being cast in a web.
-You then pose a question about not
understanding consequences of our "errant ways."
-The volta follows very well from
the previous stanza, as he has to depart.
-I also like the use of enjambment.
-The couplet is very good, as I think he is saying
he will be fading "into the refuge of the night" like the moth.
-It also takes the reader back to the opening of the sonnet.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much for the good wishes, Pam, and also for the exceptionally detailed and complimentary review. I really appreciate both, as well as the delightful rating. Much gratitude, Craig
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You are very welcome and deserving, Craig. This was a departure from what I have read by you, and I thought you did a really good job. I liked the sonnet and hope you do well.
Comment from susand3022
Hi CD, I really loved your Sonnet, it feels like you write them often. It's very good. The progression is nice and your pentameter is good, which I'm told I have to look at again as I just wrote my first. Good luck!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Hi CD, I really loved your Sonnet, it feels like you write them often. It's very good. The progression is nice and your pentameter is good, which I'm told I have to look at again as I just wrote my first. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much for the lovely comments, and congratulations on your own achievement, completing your first sonnet. It's a fun form. Thanks also for the kind good wishes :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from rhonnie69
HELLO CD RICHARDS: I like your posting here in that it reminds me of me. I have been told that my worst enemy is me. I've imagined that this does hold somewhat of the truth. Over my years I have figured out how to set myself free from me. Your posting here reminds me of how much better I feel about myself now that I've learned through, trial-and-error, to set myself free, from me...my worst enemy. Thank you for sharing, God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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HELLO CD RICHARDS: I like your posting here in that it reminds me of me. I have been told that my worst enemy is me. I've imagined that this does hold somewhat of the truth. Over my years I have figured out how to set myself free from me. Your posting here reminds me of how much better I feel about myself now that I've learned through, trial-and-error, to set myself free, from me...my worst enemy. Thank you for sharing, God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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I'm glad you enjoyed, and got some value from, my post, Rhonnie. Thanks for sharing, and for the kind comments. Craig
Comment from Ms. Snyder
Beautiful Sonnet and great entry for the contest. I wonder who is the spider and who is the fly - it appears you are topping from the bottom. LOL - A very nice poem with great insight and very well proposed question. I liked it a lot. Cheers. Fonda
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Beautiful Sonnet and great entry for the contest. I wonder who is the spider and who is the fly - it appears you are topping from the bottom. LOL - A very nice poem with great insight and very well proposed question. I liked it a lot. Cheers. Fonda
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Haha shhhhhhhh, don't go letting the cat out of the bag. Thanks for the fun review, and I'm glad you enjoyed :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, Craig, this is a wonderful sonnet! How sad it is, though. I'm not sure the victim understood he/it was entering into jeopardy... What amazing imagery. What a wonderful use of metaphor, and SO unusual. Once again you take my last six, sir -- nothing less will do for this outstanding poem!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Wow, Craig, this is a wonderful sonnet! How sad it is, though. I'm not sure the victim understood he/it was entering into jeopardy... What amazing imagery. What a wonderful use of metaphor, and SO unusual. Once again you take my last six, sir -- nothing less will do for this outstanding poem!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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I guess that's the difference between a mere fool and a maniac ;-) Thank you so much for parting with your last, shiny, brass razoo on my account, Dawn :) I very much appreciate it, and the delightful comments. Craig
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My pleasure, Craig.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Kinda like being ranked in the top ten of Fanstory poets, Craig.
Right?
It takes up sooooooooo very much of your time.
If you wanna stay high up in the rankings you've gotta produce.
And if you've gotta produce, it can't be of a lesser quality than any other poem or prose you've produced thus far.
Because if it is, discerning readers of today can spot that from a miiiiiiiiiile away!
They're not stupid; they know what you're trying to do.
And, if the quality begins to suffer, they'll be more than happy to let you know.
No suffering from a lack of quality here. This is a stellar, well written Shakespearean sonnet.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Kinda like being ranked in the top ten of Fanstory poets, Craig.
Right?
It takes up sooooooooo very much of your time.
If you wanna stay high up in the rankings you've gotta produce.
And if you've gotta produce, it can't be of a lesser quality than any other poem or prose you've produced thus far.
Because if it is, discerning readers of today can spot that from a miiiiiiiiiile away!
They're not stupid; they know what you're trying to do.
And, if the quality begins to suffer, they'll be more than happy to let you know.
No suffering from a lack of quality here. This is a stellar, well written Shakespearean sonnet.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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I wouldn't know, Dean. I've never finished a year ranked in the top ten. Last year would be closest, but someone bumped me out with a couple of weeks to go. Can't remember who, but I must go put some arsenic in their sugar bowl [wink]. Quite seriously, I wasn't chasing a spot in the top anything. I set myself a task to produce a poem a day, because I was gifted a book that presented me with a word a day. The jump in the rankings from my usual triple digits was simply due to volume, that's the way it works. I won't be attempting another challenge like that, because quite frankly, it's too much hard work, and you're right... the quality suffers. Yes, there are people who chase top spot, some of them, quite obviously so, and they are happy to admit it. And good luck to them, I've no quarrel with that. For me, it's back to triple digits, if I ever get around to posting enough to get a ranking ;-)
Thanks for the kind words re this effort, and the good wishes.
Craig
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I really don't wanna be ranked highly, Craig, and I don't expect I'll be where I am very much longer.
I write everyday (literally--at least six hours per day!) and have hundreds of poems and a few short stories already written. I just can't afford to promote highly enough to get anyone here to read them.
I used to watch the rankings but not anymore.
I'm just here to learn from others in the hopes of getting better. Or, helping those who ask for my help, if I can.
Once I fall outta the top ten, as I'm sure I will, I'll just sit back with a smug smile on my face and laugh at all the sheeple trying to best one another and who are allowing themselves to become slaves to FanStory.
Seriously, even though I have a dog in this "fight" as well, I wish you the best of luck.
~Dean
Comment from The Cowboy Poet
Australia! This is one of the places on my list to visit. It sounds like you have your hands full. Your poem is very nice. The meter and rhyme are correct for the sonnet form. The first three stanzas show how fleeting love can be (almost like a trap). Has your wife, friend, significant other seen this? The last two line sum everything up very well. Cowboy
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Australia! This is one of the places on my list to visit. It sounds like you have your hands full. Your poem is very nice. The meter and rhyme are correct for the sonnet form. The first three stanzas show how fleeting love can be (almost like a trap). Has your wife, friend, significant other seen this? The last two line sum everything up very well. Cowboy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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No, she hasn't seen it yet. It's not about her, or any single individual, really. It's about bright, shiny things that draw us in, then cause us trouble. That could be love relationships, or something else. Thanks for the thoughtful review, and I hope you enjoy your visit, if and when you make it here :) Cheers, Craig
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You're certainly welcome, Craig.
Comment from Yuna Akil
This poem sounds of regret. We all have many times taken bold actions that resulted in a negative outcome we could not have predicted. I enjoyed reading the poem and seeing the parallels to my own life and actually being able to see I am more hopeful than this poem.
I feel refreshed. Thank you.
Yuna.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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This poem sounds of regret. We all have many times taken bold actions that resulted in a negative outcome we could not have predicted. I enjoyed reading the poem and seeing the parallels to my own life and actually being able to see I am more hopeful than this poem.
I feel refreshed. Thank you.
Yuna.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Thanks very much for the very kind words. They're most appreciated -- Craig
Comment from Teri7
Craig, This is a very well written sonnet. You did a very good job with them and very appropriate imagery with the spider web. I could totally understand what you were saying in this well written sonnet. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Craig, This is a very well written sonnet. You did a very good job with them and very appropriate imagery with the spider web. I could totally understand what you were saying in this well written sonnet. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much, Teri. I'm grateful for the kind comments, and glad it made sense to you :) Cheers, Craig