Reviews from

Mother's White Feather

Coward or Angel?

29 total reviews 
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Lisa May, Congratulations on your win. I never read this first time round. What a well written piece and the wording is tremendously well done. Interesting author notes - you have to have some belief that there is some goodness in a person who appears heartless. Loved this - and a deserved win. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 16-May-2019


reply by the author on 16-May-2019
    Thank you so much Dorothy, I really appreciate your comments. I met my birth mother, the woman in the poem, for the first time when I was 45. She was a very evasive woman and clearly not at all interested in taking any responsibility for anything that could be perceived to put her in a negative light. I had a lucky escape to be adopted out. She died a couple of months ago.
Comment from Contests

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 16-May-2019


reply by the author on 16-May-2019
    Thank you so much for this honour. I know there were many excellent entries, so I thank you sincerely for judging mine the winner.
Comment from DragonSkulls
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, now this is how poetry is supposed to be written. I will admit, I didn't know that that feathered scarf thing was called a boa until I read the author notes. I was a little confused but now I'm on board, lol. What a fantastic write, Lisa. I'm taking it that the Mother's Day contest is a site sponsored contest? I don't know, I'll have to go look it up. Whatever the case, I'm sure you have a good shot at the win with this poetic beauty. I wish you the best of luck. Great write.

Ron

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2019
    What an appreciative reviewer you are! Thanks for the compliments. "Mothers Day poetry" contest deadline May 12th on contests listings.
    See ya there!
Comment from Heather Knight
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow! You were so lucky to be adopted.
What kind of mother leaves her children behind? Maybe I'm being too unkind. I see you try to justify her actions and you might be right.
Thanks for sharing. Very sad.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
    I struggle with understanding her motives too. I do not have children myself (I recognise now that it is partly to do with worrying I might turn out like my mother), so her damage has had major impact as I would like to have had a family. I justify it by saying i am helping not to overpopulate the overcrowded earth!
reply by Heather Knight on 19-Apr-2019
    I have three children and even though I often think I'm a selfish mother, I don't think I could have ever left them... But who knows? Never say never.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
    Exactly. We never know what's around the corner. xx
Comment from James W. Reynolds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This poem is evocative. The imagery works well in conveying a truly traumatic event. The anger is palpable and justified. The final stanza is strong and brutal.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
    Thank you so much for this review. Your comments show that you understand what I was aiming to portray.
    Cheers, LM
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You had plucked an old memory even before I got to the notes. The old English "Bein' shed o'" lingered here in the hills until a generation ago.
Our old white leghorn hens were shed o' white feathers all over the farm...
Sixty percent of marriages fall apart in civilized nations today...excellent
poem, and salute to your adoptive mom...

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    Thanks for this review. Our 'civilized' nations have a lot to answer to.
    I think I turned out ok, but I was the one that got away so that helped me have a more 'normal' upbringing.
Comment from karenina
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Some ought not be mothers. It takes an exam and demonstration of skill to get a driver's license, but parenting is open to everyone and therefore there will be those, such as your mother who were never equipped to nurture a single child. She may have been on her way but the scars to the children left behind last far beyond what she could have imagined.--Karenina

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    It's only THE most important job on earth, you'd think there'd be at least a handbook or manual or aptitude test. With mother, it was possible she was so self absorbed she never spent time at all thinking what the repercussions would be on her children.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, I remember you sharing about being adopted and from this experience of your half-sister, it sounds that it really was a blessing in disguise for you as you got a loving home!

Thanks for sharing and for the great notes explaining the idioms. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    Thank you so much for reviewing.
    Yes indeed, a lucky escape for me. Our poor mother, I do wonder what the pressures on her were, back in 1953 when this happened, to make her give up on her parenting role and run away from her obligations.
Comment from 24chas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is really sad, but beautifully written, LisaMay. I don't understand a mother being this way, yet I don't want to stand in judgment of her or anybody else. You did a great job in capturing the sadness and pathos in this unfortunately true story. Nicely done, my friend.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    Well, I had pretty good material to work with unfortunately. Thanks for the great review. The feather motif came about when i was thinking of a dead bird; I wanted the child to have some sort of souvenir, and then the feather boa came to mind, somewhat gentler than death and more theatrical.
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Seems like this mother runs away from motherhood and the feathers from the boa are the only memory. In this situation I would think the white feather is a metaphor for the mother's cowardice to be a parent.

Good luck and keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    Maybe we should wonder what pressures she was under in 1953, when it happened, that made her behave like that. But yes, she must have been a coward to some extent to renege on her parental obligations.
reply by dragonpoet on 17-Apr-2019
    You're welcome.

    dp