Turf Snake
A darker side of a light-hearted joke among football players26 total reviews
Comment from Sylvia Page
This is full of suspense and drama. It kept me wondering what will happen next as I suspected some foul play. The imagery was great and kept me rooted. Best wishes in the contest.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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This is full of suspense and drama. It kept me wondering what will happen next as I suspected some foul play. The imagery was great and kept me rooted. Best wishes in the contest.
Sylvia
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Wow, Sylvia!! What a wonderful review, ma'am -- thank you so very much for those lovely stars!! ;) ;) I am so very glad you enjoyed this one as Horror is NOT my genre of choice...but I just can't pass on a free contest, ya know! :) ;) Thanx for the review and have a wonderful rest of the week! :) ;) Yvette
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My pleasure Yvette
Comment from Ulla
Hi Yvettte, although this was a very long story you had my attention all way through. I was tense and certainly scary. I loved the story and good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Hi Yvettte, although this was a very long story you had my attention all way through. I was tense and certainly scary. I loved the story and good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your time for reading, Ulla -- it is so very much appreciated! ;) ;) Take care out there! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvette. Your title description "Turf Snake" was certainly accurate. That is a dark story. It was very well written. The descriptions, the behaviors and the narrative were certainly a description of dark behavior. It was actually quite suspenseful until we got to about 80% finished and then I didn't want to read anymore, but I did. It was well written. (Warn me the next time it people turn into snakes.) Z
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Hello Yvette. Your title description "Turf Snake" was certainly accurate. That is a dark story. It was very well written. The descriptions, the behaviors and the narrative were certainly a description of dark behavior. It was actually quite suspenseful until we got to about 80% finished and then I didn't want to read anymore, but I did. It was well written. (Warn me the next time it people turn into snakes.) Z
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Okay, I'll include something like "Caution: May Contain Snake People"...how's that? :) ;) ;) But I'm hoping that the fact that you didn't want to read it wasn't because it wasn't scary any more....? You know, after you write/edit/reread/edit/reread something, it doesn't seem to hit you on the 'reading' thing after a bit (if that makes any sense!)....Because I don't write these often for a reason: I have WAAAY too vivid of an imagination for it....it'll take me days to get this out of my head (and that is really not a joke!). I write these Horror Contests because there's no entry fee and It's a good practice activity .... that's all! I'm cheap (except with clothes and shoes!!) and competitive...what can I say? :) ;) LOL! Take care, sir, and thanx for making it all the way through! ;) ;) Yvette
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Don't get the wrong impression. The writing was EXCELLENT. It was so good it made me uncomfortable. It's my problem, not yours. It left NOTHING to the imagination. I apologize if I offended you with my comments. Don't get mad at me, I'm just a 73 year old boy learning how to write things other people are willing to read. Everyone liked my technical writing during my career except you can only eat so much sawdust.
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Aaaackk!! No, not mad!! Just like i said, I don't do this genre cuz it makes ME uncomfortable....was just making sure it worked on YOU (the reader)!! :) ;) That's all.... believe me, I'd understand if you hated it as Horror is NOT 'my thing'! :) ;) ;) LOL! Please, please, please DO NOT EVER think I'm upset...if anything, I'm just tired as I was out clearing out the gardens and trimming the shrubs along the drive way this morning from 7am to going on 11.... and, yeah, we leave in the HOT South! ;) ;) LOL! So, just re-read anything I typed with the thought in mind that the crazy blonde typing it was just unsure because of this genre and anything else was just jovial fun and joking!! ;) ;) Take care, sir!! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from Sally Law
I am such a scaredy-cat I could hardly finish this. I think I knew where this was going, but I just had to finish it. This was truly horrible and a perfect entry for the horror contest. Your dark entry is what the contest is all about. Good luck in the contest!
All my best,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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I am such a scaredy-cat I could hardly finish this. I think I knew where this was going, but I just had to finish it. This was truly horrible and a perfect entry for the horror contest. Your dark entry is what the contest is all about. Good luck in the contest!
All my best,
Sal xo
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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You know? I'm completely with you, Sally, but I'm glad to see you say that it scared you....after you write/edit/reread/edit/reread something, it doesn't seem to hit you on the 'reading' thing after a bit (if that makes any sense!)....Because I don't write these often for a reason: I have WAAAY too vivid of an imagination for it....it'll take me days to get this out of my head (and that is really not a joke!). I write these Horror Contests because there's no entry fee and It's a good practice activity .... that's all! I can't even make it through horror movies...they stay with me for weeks! Seriously, I quit going to them after the Alien Series back when... they scared the hell out of me but not there in the theater...it's what my imagination carries out of the theater that's the problem!! ;) Take care, Lady Sal and thanx for making it through this one...lol! ;) ;) Yvette
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I have to get every article out of my head horror themed or not! LOL! ;+)
Comment from Heather Knight
Great story. I didn't see that coming! Even with the picture.
The only thing I find a bit confusing is the sentence in which you speak about Shelby's brother's body odor. For a moment it made me think Johnathan was her brother (that is creepy), but it's probably me.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Great story. I didn't see that coming! Even with the picture.
The only thing I find a bit confusing is the sentence in which you speak about Shelby's brother's body odor. For a moment it made me think Johnathan was her brother (that is creepy), but it's probably me.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Hey there, Lady Maria! ;) I went in and changed that description a bit...if you have a chance, take a look at it and let me know if the 'generalized' version is better. :) ;) Thank you so very much for your time and your support -- have a great rest of the week! ;) ;) Yvette
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Just reread it. It?s perfect now.
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Thank you so much for the 'heads up' on that!! ;) ;) Take care!!
Comment from Tootsie55
This was a great post as we said elsewhere your typical style I am beginning to learn. Creepy; Horror and all that. No sp[ags as far as I could tell. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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This was a great post as we said elsewhere your typical style I am beginning to learn. Creepy; Horror and all that. No sp[ags as far as I could tell. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
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Wow!! :) ;) I am so glad you enjoyed this one Tootsie -- and I am glad you enjoy my style....I've been told it is 'different' and we'll leave it at that! ;) ;) LOL! :) And don't worry, Horror is NOT my genre of choice...just can't pass on a free contest, ya know! :) ;) Thanx for the review and have a wonderful rest of the week! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from susand3022
Okay, Lady of the South... if this is what migraines do to your brain, I'm really glad I don't have to deal with that crap! Holy Cow! I figured he was going to end up doing something sinister on the field... actually, I didn't think he'd make it past the locker room! (I could just see him shoving a fistful of snakes down her dress in the dark!) I mean, what is it with men? lol But I never figured he'd be a snakeman! Ick!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Okay, Lady of the South... if this is what migraines do to your brain, I'm really glad I don't have to deal with that crap! Holy Cow! I figured he was going to end up doing something sinister on the field... actually, I didn't think he'd make it past the locker room! (I could just see him shoving a fistful of snakes down her dress in the dark!) I mean, what is it with men? lol But I never figured he'd be a snakeman! Ick!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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LOL! Naaaah....I started this before the headache but had to wait til i could focus on the screen again to finish it so it might not be exactly where I was going when I started, but I think it worked....? Either way, I don't write these often for a reason: I have WAAAY too vivid of an imagination for it....it'll take me days to get this out of my head (and that is really not a joke!). I write these Horror Contests because there's no entry fee and It's a good practice activity .... that's all! I can't even make it through horror movies...they stay with me for weeks! Seriously, I quit going to them after the Alien Series back when... they scare the hell out of me not there in the theater...it's what my imagination carries out of the theater that's the problem!! ;) Take care up there, O Lady of the Northeast and thanx for making it through this one...lol! ;) ;)
Comment from Sankey
This was very intriguing. Horror all saved up till towards the end of it all. Very graphic and seems like this is your regular form of writing only vaguely showing in the other story I caught up with the other day. Picture drawn very well of all that was going on throughout.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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This was very intriguing. Horror all saved up till towards the end of it all. Very graphic and seems like this is your regular form of writing only vaguely showing in the other story I caught up with the other day. Picture drawn very well of all that was going on throughout.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Wow! Thank you so very much for those lovely stars, sir!! :) ;) And this is definitely NOT my usual genre: I have WAAAY too vivid of an imagination for it....it'll take me days to get this out of my head (and that is really not a joke!). I write these Horror Contests because there's no entry fee and It's a good practice for something I wouldn't normally choose... :) ;) Thank you again and have a wonderful week! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from Rachelle Allen
*GULP* There is a whole new ssside of you I'm sssseeing here, my sweet and talented friend. This was fantasssstic!! You had me so invested, I kept reading faster and faster and faster! Oy!! This was provocative and tantalizing and so horrifyingly real. As you said in your Author's Notes: I won't be going out onto any football fields at night in a deserted stadium! OY!!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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*GULP* There is a whole new ssside of you I'm sssseeing here, my sweet and talented friend. This was fantasssstic!! You had me so invested, I kept reading faster and faster and faster! Oy!! This was provocative and tantalizing and so horrifyingly real. As you said in your Author's Notes: I won't be going out onto any football fields at night in a deserted stadium! OY!!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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You so funny!! ;) ;) And I truly am glad you thought it was 'good horror' (sounds stupid even to my ears) because I have WAAAY too vivid of an imagination to do this on a regular basis....it'll take me days to get this out of my head (and that is really not a joke!). I write these Horror Contests because there's no entry fee and It's a good ... what can I say? I'm cheap and competitive....but don't tell anybody else! ;) ;) LOL! :) Take care, you! Yvette
P.S. I haven't forgotten about you....I was smacked down with 2+ day migraine Thursday night and I'm slowly playing catch up ... this story? I had all the intentions of having it done Friday afternoon or so.... and, as always with the plans we make for ourselves...LOL!! :) :) As it was, I just got it done Sunday evening (and that was when the deadline was...ugh)!! :) ;) I'll be caught up between stuff round the house and FS soon!! ;) ;) I was clearing the areas along the driveway all morning....yes, the crazy people that live in the South actually work out in the heat...we just get out there just after 6 in the morning and drag our exhausted butts in by 10:30 (9:30 if there's no shade to 'break' in!)....Take care!! :)
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Oy! Two big migraines in as many weeks. That's bad. I'm so sorry to read you were down for the metaphoric count there. You're amazing that you could still compose such a fantastic write in its aftermath. When Bobby gets a migraine, he has at least one full day of the WEIRDEST comments/thought processes!! I hope you're done with them now for the summer (if not longer!)
xo
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Aaaack! No, it was the same one! Started Thursday evening and then persisted through early Sunday morning.. (when this insane write was due Sunday evening!)..... Nooooo!! Just one once in a while is ENOUGH!! ;) ;)
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Oh wow. I'm getting all mixed up with my weeks. I was thinking of the one when your husband was gone and you ate that pizza that knocked you out for two days. So it actually lasted four?!! YIKES! Not. Fair! xo
Comment from Rikki66
Poor Shelby she wanted stars but got death, Jonathan was a devil in disguise a snake in wolfs clothing. The locker room startled her sense so she was ready for something else. A good story well written
Rikki:)xo
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Poor Shelby she wanted stars but got death, Jonathan was a devil in disguise a snake in wolfs clothing. The locker room startled her sense so she was ready for something else. A good story well written
Rikki:)xo
Comment Written 30-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Thanx for dropping by on this one, Rikki -- I write these Horror Contests because there's no entry fee and It's a good challenge to see if I can do it...that's all. I'll be sleeping with a few extra lights on for a while!! ;) ;) Take care! ;) Yvette
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I fear snakes even reading of them and Jonatan was a big one. Peace and love,
Rikki:)