Miscellaneous Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "haiku (black hole consumes all)"Poems not in other books
24 total reviews
Comment from damommy
Very clever play on words in the last line. I hope everyone understands it. It's a 'wow' factor. Outstanding photo. Good assonance with 'hole' and 'horizon.' Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Very clever play on words in the last line. I hope everyone understands it. It's a 'wow' factor. Outstanding photo. Good assonance with 'hole' and 'horizon.' Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks for the great comments, Yvonne. I'm glad you got the double meaning in the satori. Most grateful for the good wishes as well. Craig
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
black hole consumes all
that crosses its horizon--
something to a void
Excellently done haiku with the two lines of imagery and then the wow line using the play on a void, avoid
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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black hole consumes all
that crosses its horizon--
something to a void
Excellently done haiku with the two lines of imagery and then the wow line using the play on a void, avoid
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks very much, Barb. I appreciate that you got the twist, and am grateful for the kind comments. Craig
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Craig,
How clever ... "a void" ... love the play on words here! Best wishes for the contest with this fine entry. Your accompanying picture is very striking and gives your poem added impact. Great job!
Cheers
Connie
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Hi Craig,
How clever ... "a void" ... love the play on words here! Best wishes for the contest with this fine entry. Your accompanying picture is very striking and gives your poem added impact. Great job!
Cheers
Connie
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks very much, Connie. I always appreciate your reviews, and your kind comments this time are no exception. Cheers, Craig
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your haiku contest entry, Craig. Your picture choice is super. Your font color reminds me of a burning star in space. Good job with the syllable count. The last line with ' a void ' is clever. I hope readers understand the play on words. I know how interested you are in space 'things.' Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed your haiku contest entry, Craig. Your picture choice is super. Your font color reminds me of a burning star in space. Good job with the syllable count. The last line with ' a void ' is clever. I hope readers understand the play on words. I know how interested you are in space 'things.' Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Quite a few got the play on words, which is pleasing :) Thanks for the lovely comments, Jan. Cheers, Craig
Comment from tfawcus
There's nothing like a good pun to give these short forms a bit of oomph. I took your advice this afternoon when I went to the dog park and trod carefully.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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There's nothing like a good pun to give these short forms a bit of oomph. I took your advice this afternoon when I went to the dog park and trod carefully.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Haha, good job.
Thanks for the kind comment, Tony. It's probably sacrilege to make a pun in a haiku, so it can be our secret :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
That's certainly one wicked satori, and yes, there's plenty that can be said about a perfect void -- this is a very clever haiku, Craig, and should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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That's certainly one wicked satori, and yes, there's plenty that can be said about a perfect void -- this is a very clever haiku, Craig, and should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much for the wonderful rating and delightful comments, Dawn. I wrote another one I liked better for the contest, but forgot to enter it lol
Comment from Gloria ....
Well that's what my grandmother always told me too, avoid those black holes because they are a void. They look pretty though, but I guess that's just to lure us in.
All kidding aside, this is a fine haiku and space is just the place to have a season, yes?
Great job and best of luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Well that's what my grandmother always told me too, avoid those black holes because they are a void. They look pretty though, but I guess that's just to lure us in.
All kidding aside, this is a fine haiku and space is just the place to have a season, yes?
Great job and best of luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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What's the deal with seasons? You're the second person to mention it. Seems like I missed something major here - like that being a prerequisite for the contest, or something???? I've double checked, and I don't see/get it!
Anyway, thanks for the lovely shiny stars and delightful comments, Gloria. Cheers, Craig
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One of the major rules with haiku is a seasonal reference doncha know? You could just write cold black hole eats all and that would be a seasonal reference. See? Cold is winter.
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Well, I'm not going to suggest that FS contests should be based on something poetry sites say - we both know how well that works out! But this is Shadowpoetry's take on it:
Haiku usually contains a season word (called kigo). It is not a requirement, but season words are a big part of haiku.
My understanding has been that they must be about nature. I see even that is disputed in some places. Oh well, if, in their wisdom, they see fit to DQ it (which they won't since its a site contest, they'll just ignore it) so be it. I'm not going to win any site contests for a long time lol
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Why would you say that? The other haiku likely would've been more geared toward a site contest though in my opinion.
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The other one is the one I meant to enter. I stupidly forgot when I posted to go in through the contest page... not the first time! :)
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Is the contest closed? If not you can just switch them.
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Yes, it's closed. Oh well, no worries. How does one go about switching?
Comment from Sheridan1
Thanks for the warning. Very punny. The surprise ending is out of this world. The visual is appealing. I cannot find a single correction to suggest.
Thanks for the guffaw.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks for the warning. Very punny. The surprise ending is out of this world. The visual is appealing. I cannot find a single correction to suggest.
Thanks for the guffaw.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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It was a bit punny, wasn't it? Oh well, some were afraid it was a typo :) Thanks for the terrific comments. Craig
Comment from Earl Corp
Did you mean to write a void or did you mean avoid. I don't know much about black holes but it seems like they would consume everything that crosses it's path. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Did you mean to write a void or did you mean avoid. I don't know much about black holes but it seems like they would consume everything that crosses it's path. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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I meant a void. But I meant it to be ambiguous, too :) Thanks for the good wishes. Craig
Comment from lyenochka
Fun pun in your last line, Craig. Thanks for sharing this astronomy haiku although I'm not sure that there is a seasonal reference since there are probably none in space. Also, I learned recently about the spaghettification which what black holes really does to anything that enters into one.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Fun pun in your last line, Craig. Thanks for sharing this astronomy haiku although I'm not sure that there is a seasonal reference since there are probably none in space. Also, I learned recently about the spaghettification which what black holes really does to anything that enters into one.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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If you have a reference, I'd be interested in reading about that, Helen. Thanks for the lovely review :)
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I only browse those science videos that mentioned it. Here's just one explanation. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghettification