Winter Camp
Brothers fishing16 total reviews
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a lovely story that allows us a quick glance into the lives of the Gundaroo. The truth is it's the first time I hear of this tribe.
In the last line, didn't you mean from instead of for?
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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This is a lovely story that allows us a quick glance into the lives of the Gundaroo. The truth is it's the first time I hear of this tribe.
In the last line, didn't you mean from instead of for?
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Bless you Maria, Glad you like reading about our culture. Australian English is different to American, I will look at it again. Love, Kace.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
To grandma's delight the grandsons caught a huge barramundi; grandma chuckled into her bone pipe; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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To grandma's delight the grandsons caught a huge barramundi; grandma chuckled into her bone pipe; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
Comment Written 12-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Hello my friend, Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed. Love Kay.
Comment from rockmann
So this is a slice of Australian life. Very interesting.
Your opening paragraph seemed almost robotic. Four sentences would read much better if you combined them. For instance the last two sentences might read better like this: With her breath frosted on the air, Grandmother Gundaroo stoked the embers of the dying fire.
Or this: Winter covered the land in snow. Gum trees drooped with the weight, and the Gundaroo tribe shivered in their kangaroo skins.
You did it in the second graph very well, and it reads much smoother. Good luck with your writing.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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So this is a slice of Australian life. Very interesting.
Your opening paragraph seemed almost robotic. Four sentences would read much better if you combined them. For instance the last two sentences might read better like this: With her breath frosted on the air, Grandmother Gundaroo stoked the embers of the dying fire.
Or this: Winter covered the land in snow. Gum trees drooped with the weight, and the Gundaroo tribe shivered in their kangaroo skins.
You did it in the second graph very well, and it reads much smoother. Good luck with your writing.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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Thanks for reading. I know it's a little stilted. Hard to keep a good flow when we are limited to 150 words. I will look at it again. Cheers, Kace.
Comment from BeasPeas
What a wonderful post, Kace. Loved it. The folksy way you've told the story and the image, plus your author's note make it a sixer for sure. Best of luck in the contest. Oh how scary to have the crocs lurking. Marilyn
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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What a wonderful post, Kace. Loved it. The folksy way you've told the story and the image, plus your author's note make it a sixer for sure. Best of luck in the contest. Oh how scary to have the crocs lurking. Marilyn
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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Hi Marilyn, Thanks so much for your review and six stars! We have saltwater crocs up to 15 ft. Bless you, Kace.
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I guess I'd never step foot in the water. Frightening.
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P.S. Like your new photo, but I also like the one with Elvis.
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Hee,Hee, Now Toby got in the act!
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Toby is a cutie.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Aussie. I enjoyed your story. Somehow I thought flash fiction was 100 words ... What is so special about this one is the native aspects of it. Two little boys in Australia just like any other little boy around the world fishing and competing against each other. Only difference? The type of fish caught. Your words made me feel the love of their grandmother and the pride in her grandsons. Well done and good luck. xoxo Kiwi
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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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Hi Aussie. I enjoyed your story. Somehow I thought flash fiction was 100 words ... What is so special about this one is the native aspects of it. Two little boys in Australia just like any other little boy around the world fishing and competing against each other. Only difference? The type of fish caught. Your words made me feel the love of their grandmother and the pride in her grandsons. Well done and good luck. xoxo Kiwi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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Kia Ora my friend. Thanks so much for dropping in. Hard to write a decent story when limited to 150 words. Oh, well, I have 15 chapters written on the Australian Dreamtime. Love, Kace.
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
I love learning about this beautiful family. These children have magic in their souls, and you capture such an exquisite part of our world that so many people do not even realize exists. I want know these people.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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I love learning about this beautiful family. These children have magic in their souls, and you capture such an exquisite part of our world that so many people do not even realize exists. I want know these people.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
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Hello new friend. Yes, our culture is unique and loved around the World. Many thanks for dropping by. Blessings, Kace.