The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "The Graveyard Nightjar"A Novel
24 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This was an intense chapter, Tony. You did a good job with Helen's explanation to Charles. There still is a lot of suspense surrounding this story and the long forgotten French Letter. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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This was an intense chapter, Tony. You did a good job with Helen's explanation to Charles. There still is a lot of suspense surrounding this story and the long forgotten French Letter. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Jan. I very much appreciate your continued encouragement. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Great name for a bird, for a chapter and foreshadowing of possible future event.
The section where Helen reveals motivation is very well done,
but I don't see Helen coldly committing Charles to such a gruesome fate.
I suspect Helen is more resourceful than many readers might expect
and there is a means of escape, though maybe for only one person. :(
Many an author dashes readers hope on the rocks of realism.
Time is chonking right along.
Splendid ending to the chapter.
Robert
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Hello Tony,
Great name for a bird, for a chapter and foreshadowing of possible future event.
The section where Helen reveals motivation is very well done,
but I don't see Helen coldly committing Charles to such a gruesome fate.
I suspect Helen is more resourceful than many readers might expect
and there is a means of escape, though maybe for only one person. :(
Many an author dashes readers hope on the rocks of realism.
Time is chonking right along.
Splendid ending to the chapter.
Robert
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Robert. Yes, it's easy to forget that Helen is skilled in the art of Thai kickboxing, that she has spent quite a bit of time fending for herself in the less salubrious areas of Bangkok, and that she grew up in the Hindu-Kush. I suspect she'll not only be able to look after herself in a tight spot, but maybe also Charles. Who knows?
He may have the edge on her when it comes to winter survival skills, though.
Thanks for the sixth star and your continued interest in this saga.
p.s. I'm thoroughly enjoying your Tales of a Scottish Wood.
Comment from Cindy Warren
I can see why Helen wants to kill this guy, but is she being used? Considered expendable? Jeanne must know she'd be unlikely to survive. Could it be she wants Helen dead too?
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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I can see why Helen wants to kill this guy, but is she being used? Considered expendable? Jeanne must know she'd be unlikely to survive. Could it be she wants Helen dead too?
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Cindy. I very much appreciate your continued encouragement. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
She certainly doesn't lack for courage as this is a pretty dangerous task she's taking on. I realize her need to avenge her parents, but she is not messing around with an amateur here. I enjoy the way you take us on these little side excursions of mistrust between them as they are very well written and usually end on a high and positive note. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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She certainly doesn't lack for courage as this is a pretty dangerous task she's taking on. I realize her need to avenge her parents, but she is not messing around with an amateur here. I enjoy the way you take us on these little side excursions of mistrust between them as they are very well written and usually end on a high and positive note. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks very much for this review, Monica, and your continued support. Thanks, too, for your comments about the in-and-out relationship between Charles and Helen.
Comment from juliaSjames
Helen's outburst is the highpoint of this chapter. I confess I didn't see this coming as a result of her secret planning. I should have though. Her declaration reminded me of the sacrifice of the markhor.
Charles seems at a loss as to how to proceed. So he was taken by surprise too.
The graveyard bird is a fine symbol for this stunning chapter.
Couple of points.
I think you make too much of the fencing analogy. You don't want Charles to appear too much of a stuffed shirt after the Les Stups references in the previous chapter.
Suggest you delete "of a wooden surface striking against something." It's repetitive.
And a bit of spag
"last time in several weeks" - "for several weeks"
The excitement mounts.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Helen's outburst is the highpoint of this chapter. I confess I didn't see this coming as a result of her secret planning. I should have though. Her declaration reminded me of the sacrifice of the markhor.
Charles seems at a loss as to how to proceed. So he was taken by surprise too.
The graveyard bird is a fine symbol for this stunning chapter.
Couple of points.
I think you make too much of the fencing analogy. You don't want Charles to appear too much of a stuffed shirt after the Les Stups references in the previous chapter.
Suggest you delete "of a wooden surface striking against something." It's repetitive.
And a bit of spag
"last time in several weeks" - "for several weeks"
The excitement mounts.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Very many thanks for your review, Julia, and for the suggestions. Much appreciated, as always. I shall take another look. All good wishes, Tony
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A continuing pleasure to read your work, Tony.
JJ
Comment from Nowhereman1
Very well written chapter to a interesting book. The story is very interesting and is easy to read and follow. I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Very well written chapter to a interesting book. The story is very interesting and is easy to read and follow. I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Nowhereman. I very much appreciate your encouragement. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
Wow. This lady has a crazy death wish doesn't she? But I don't think it's born brand new all of a sudden - I'm sure it's one she's been chasing for a while now. So tragic.
This will change the trajectory of their relationship, I imagine, and I LOVED the symbolism of the bird who lives around cemeteries representing this new relationship they're edged into. Nice touch. Niiiiccce touch.
Notes, if I may?
1.) When we arrived, we were shown up to a room on
--> don't need the 'up'
2.) the second floor. Heavy flock wallpaper
--> I've only ever heard it as 'flocked'
3.) "Sir Robert must have been most anxious to find out.
--> find out what?
That's it! Thanks a bunch! I enjoyed this one even more than most.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Tony,
Wow. This lady has a crazy death wish doesn't she? But I don't think it's born brand new all of a sudden - I'm sure it's one she's been chasing for a while now. So tragic.
This will change the trajectory of their relationship, I imagine, and I LOVED the symbolism of the bird who lives around cemeteries representing this new relationship they're edged into. Nice touch. Niiiiccce touch.
Notes, if I may?
1.) When we arrived, we were shown up to a room on
--> don't need the 'up'
2.) the second floor. Heavy flock wallpaper
--> I've only ever heard it as 'flocked'
3.) "Sir Robert must have been most anxious to find out.
--> find out what?
That's it! Thanks a bunch! I enjoyed this one even more than most.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks for your enthusiastic review of this chapter, Robyn, and for the suggestions. As always, appreciated, and I have made some changes. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
The main focus of this little chapter is Helen's seeking of revenge against Zemar, but it didn't come across as very passionate, more matter of fact. Charles for a travel writer seems quite aquiecsent in participating in the murder, under dangerous circumstances. It's a little too unbelievable for me. You have to write in more tension and passion into this scene for it to come off as a set up for the action to come. estory
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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The main focus of this little chapter is Helen's seeking of revenge against Zemar, but it didn't come across as very passionate, more matter of fact. Charles for a travel writer seems quite aquiecsent in participating in the murder, under dangerous circumstances. It's a little too unbelievable for me. You have to write in more tension and passion into this scene for it to come off as a set up for the action to come. estory
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thank you very much for this forthright and honest review, estory. I shall look at ways of tightening this chapter when I start my final edit. As always, I appreciate your input. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
With my tongue in my cheek I must say I don't remember the justification of Ash as being in the last paragraph last ime, but I am grateful for its inclusion, as well as his name listed amongst the 'Dramatis Personae'. It is that sort of thing that makes a review feel wanted.
I was taken to task by an Australian reviewer for using the French term 'bete noire' in my novel. if the same reviewer comes in contact with this you are surely about to be lambasted for all those French fencing terms. You must be the the last bastion of hope in a country that many folk already refer to as a cultural desert!
A disturbing chapter this with revenge in the air. Who said it was a dish best served cold?
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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With my tongue in my cheek I must say I don't remember the justification of Ash as being in the last paragraph last ime, but I am grateful for its inclusion, as well as his name listed amongst the 'Dramatis Personae'. It is that sort of thing that makes a review feel wanted.
I was taken to task by an Australian reviewer for using the French term 'bete noire' in my novel. if the same reviewer comes in contact with this you are surely about to be lambasted for all those French fencing terms. You must be the the last bastion of hope in a country that many folk already refer to as a cultural desert!
A disturbing chapter this with revenge in the air. Who said it was a dish best served cold?
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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I have read one or two articles on the construction of novels and seen advice against using foreign words where an English one would be clearer. They also espouse the eradication of all adverbs.
They are apparently a betrayal noire.
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I can see the logic on the lazy use of adverbs plus a bland verb when a verb is available that will achieve the desired effect but the outlawing of all adverbs is a fashion fad in my opinion.
As for the exclusion of common use foreign words is nothing more than a dumbing down and kowtowing (Chinese) to the uneducated. S kiosk (Russian) is more than a small round shop in the middle of the road. The French members of your dramatis personae (latin) will be more likely tosay 'Merde' (French) than 'Shit (Anglo Saxon). What is English anyway?
Comment from JudyE
I didn't pick up anything untoward in this episode although I did wonder if Canna lilies should be capitalised. The dialogue is very natural.
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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I didn't pick up anything untoward in this episode although I did wonder if Canna lilies should be capitalised. The dialogue is very natural.
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Judy, for the shower of stars and encouragement.
I?ve been advised that neither paisley nor canna need to be capitalised.
If I change the one, then I should probably change both. What do you think?
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It wouldn't cross my mind to capitalise 'paisley' but I don't really know why it wouldn't. Googling 'paisley pattern' doesn't come up with much capitalisation. I'd be inclined to use lower case for both. :)