Reviews from

The Piper

Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Piper, part 32"
Young Adult Fantasy

22 total reviews 
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I suspected they were going into a cave behind the Falls. That is a perfect way to disappear. He has solved that mystery. How will he be accepted in their world? Good place to leave us hanging. Well done Debi. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
    Hi Nancy,
    Thank you for the great review. Yes, you never know what you might find behind a waterfall. I appreciate the encouraging comments.
    Debi
Comment from dkblack
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is another great chapter that adds even more adventure to your story. The magically disappearing footprints added a nice original touch! Clearly written and well-done!

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
    Hi DK,
    Thank you for the generous six star rating. I am glad you enjoyed the disappearing footprints. I appreciate your encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great chapter, it was interesting and held my attention. Your characters were strong and the dialogue appropriate. I look forward to reading more. Shirley

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
    Hi Shirley,
    Thank you for the analysis of the chapter and your encouraging comments.
    Debi
Comment from ciliverde
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I am reminded how much I liked your story when I was last spending a lot of time on FS. I've come back at the right time, as Captain Burkehart is right on the point of going into the Faerie realm - how fascinating! But he's mortal so how will he make it through that waterfall? What kind of welcome will he get once in the realm? My only complaint is that the chapter should be longer. Excellent job!
Carol

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful six star rating and even more for the comments. I love your questions.
    I smiled at the comment about the chapter being longer. Original it was twice as long, but I fought with the computer for over two hours. Paragraphs kept disappearing and merging in weird ways. I finally just gave up and posted with the first half before it too disappeared. The other half of the chapter will follow soon, if the computer will cooperate.
    Debi
    I'm glad you wanted more. It makes my day!
reply by ciliverde on 27-Jan-2020
    Sorry about your computer struggles - ugh!! Looking forward to the second half :))
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another well-written chapter with enough vivid details to take the reader to a mystical place.

Even more mysterious, all footprints along this stream disappeared within an hour after the travelers passed by.

sentences like this keep the reader glued to the story.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
    Hi Shari,
    Thanks for the encouraging comments. I appreciate the comments about specific sentences.
    Debi
Comment from rwilliam
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

He clenched his teeth in frustration.~ This is great bc who hasn't clenched their teeth?! It's so relatable. I found it slammed me into the story on a personal note. Well done!!

Burkehart grinned. "You crafty devils."~ LOVED this line too!

What a fun story! I remember reading some of this a long time ago. I'm so happy to be reconnecting to it. You are a great writer. Your story was like watching a movie in my mind. I'm THRILLED by that! :)


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
    Thank you so much for the six star rating, and the very encouraging comments. I was so happy to hear you could relate to the characters. You made my day!
    Debi
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It looks like Captain Burkehart may have found the entrance to the lands beyond these ones, where the "fair folk" may be living, and he must be looking for Piper. It seems he's as clever as the Fae. I love your style Debi, I've always been interested in the more escapist genres, why? Because I didn't like the world I lived in. Well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
    Hi Roy,
    Thank you for the interesting comments and the encouragement. I enjoy reading fantasy as well. Thank you for continuing to follow the story.
    Debi
reply by royowen on 28-Jan-2020
    well done
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Burkehart comes back on the scene just as Piper is finally about to settle down. Excellent contrast, debi. Keeps us readers on our toes.

You did a wonderful job describing the Captain's artful tracking. He has skills.
And a lot of courage to venture alone into unknown territory..


" he gazed upstream at the thundering waterfalls that fed this cascade" - did you mean "the cascading river"?

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
    Hi Julia,
    Yes, Burkehart is still in looking for Piper.
    I appreciate the insightful comments.
    Yes, I did mean the thundering waterfalls fead the cascading river. I'll have to take another look at the wording.
    Thanks so much for the help and the support.
    Debi
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh-oh! I don't think we want this Burkehart to enter into the land of the fairies. I wonder if he can go as he's not been invited by a fairy. Hopefully, he will undergo a character change in his encounter with them.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
    Exactly the reaction I was hoping for. Thank you so much for the great review!
    Debi
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Okay, so this 'Burkehart' dude must be from earlier chapters before I joined the ride, but apparently he's hunting the fae entrance... So, is he related to Piper at all? Sigh... Okay, okay, I get it. gotta wait and see, but you could speed it up a bit... LOL!! ;):) wink, wink! ;) Thanx for sharing, W.J.! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
    Hi Yvette,
    Thanks so much for the great review. Nothing is so flattering as having someone ask for more.
    Yes, the story started out at Castle Welf where Burkehart is captain of the guard. He has come between Piper and Redd-Leif several times and has warned Piper not to trust the fair folk.
    More coming, of course.
    Debi