The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 111 "The Hidden Path"A Novel
29 total reviews
Comment from Mistydawn
I hope he figures out what to do with him quickly. The distraction could cost him his life. The chapter is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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I hope he figures out what to do with him quickly. The distraction could cost him his life. The chapter is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Dawn. It looks as though he might be in a bit of trouble here. Maybe one of the girls will come and rescue him! LOL
Comment from Bill Pinder
Another well written chapter in your interesting book. I guess you meant to say "for the delight of small children." Sounds like he is getting close to the lions cage, and then we will see what happens next.
Bill
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Another well written chapter in your interesting book. I guess you meant to say "for the delight of small children." Sounds like he is getting close to the lions cage, and then we will see what happens next.
Bill
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thanks for your review, Bill, and for picking up the typo. All the best, Tony.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Another marvelous chapter in the story with a good contrast between Charles
and Minaxi, young/old, local/outsider, Kalasha/English, common sense/little sense :)
"[That's as maybe], but it contains a stronger magic..." A British expression??
"suitcase full of impossible tricks; magic of a gentler sort [fo] the delight
You have a lot of unnecessary dialogue tags where the speaker is obvious:
makeshift belt. "There," [she said.]
"Where is your map?" [she asked.]
"You'll know when you have reached the caves," [she said.]
Perhaps eliminate some.
Good that Charles didn't "slit his throat" Not only would it be out of character
for Charles, but the Khyber knife's purpose.
You've built the tension very well. It appears the cave will be where everything comes to a head.
Will Kayla already have taken care of things or will Charles come to the rescue of both Kayla and Helen? I'd bet on Charles and the Khyber knife with its Markhor handle. That's the heart of the story.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hello Tony,
Another marvelous chapter in the story with a good contrast between Charles
and Minaxi, young/old, local/outsider, Kalasha/English, common sense/little sense :)
"[That's as maybe], but it contains a stronger magic..." A British expression??
"suitcase full of impossible tricks; magic of a gentler sort [fo] the delight
You have a lot of unnecessary dialogue tags where the speaker is obvious:
makeshift belt. "There," [she said.]
"Where is your map?" [she asked.]
"You'll know when you have reached the caves," [she said.]
Perhaps eliminate some.
Good that Charles didn't "slit his throat" Not only would it be out of character
for Charles, but the Khyber knife's purpose.
You've built the tension very well. It appears the cave will be where everything comes to a head.
Will Kayla already have taken care of things or will Charles come to the rescue of both Kayla and Helen? I'd bet on Charles and the Khyber knife with its Markhor handle. That's the heart of the story.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanks for the review and sixth star, Robert. Some great suggestions in this. I've made a few changes on the basis of them. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Aha! A case of the wielder of the pen becomes mightier with the sword, or rather the AK-47.
The early paragraphs demonstrate how easy it is for someone of another culture to cause offence in foreign surroundings. The passage of these two over this rocky terrain is well described and I was thare scrambling across the rocks alongside your characters.
A fine episode.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Aha! A case of the wielder of the pen becomes mightier with the sword, or rather the AK-47.
The early paragraphs demonstrate how easy it is for someone of another culture to cause offence in foreign surroundings. The passage of these two over this rocky terrain is well described and I was thare scrambling across the rocks alongside your characters.
A fine episode.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Jim. Not long now before I can blow them all up and write The End.
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I know how you feel. Seren gets her immortality this evening and I shall send the lot into remission on Sunday!
Comment from JudyE
Great place to stop - NOT! I only hope we have wifi in Lumbini where we're headed early tomorrow so I can find out 'what happens next'. Great writing as always - just two suggestions today. :)
I must have looked from a distance like an itinerant conjurer with his suitcase full of impossible tricks; magic of a gentler sort fo the delight of small children. - I might have rearranged this as 'From a distance, I must have looked like an itinerant conjurer with his suitcase full of impossible tricks; magic of a gentler sort
fo the delight of small children. - should be 'for the delight'
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Great place to stop - NOT! I only hope we have wifi in Lumbini where we're headed early tomorrow so I can find out 'what happens next'. Great writing as always - just two suggestions today. :)
I must have looked from a distance like an itinerant conjurer with his suitcase full of impossible tricks; magic of a gentler sort fo the delight of small children. - I might have rearranged this as 'From a distance, I must have looked like an itinerant conjurer with his suitcase full of impossible tricks; magic of a gentler sort
fo the delight of small children. - should be 'for the delight'
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Judy. A good suggestion. Thanks for the typo catch, too.
As always, I appreciate the sixth star. I've just looked up Lumbini. Sounds like an interesting place. Happy meditations!
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We've just arrived and I'm recovering from a very rough bus trip from Pokhara. :(
Comment from lyenochka
I'm glad you didn't have Charles kill him as that would have been out of character from this kindly travel writer. Enjoyed the description of Minaxi's expert climbing and clever way of carrying the case. But doesn't it have a bomb? I was quite worried when she poked holes with the knife!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I'm glad you didn't have Charles kill him as that would have been out of character from this kindly travel writer. Enjoyed the description of Minaxi's expert climbing and clever way of carrying the case. But doesn't it have a bomb? I was quite worried when she poked holes with the knife!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Many thanks for your review, Helen. As always, appreciated. No bomb in the case, but a wifi homing device in the handle, which is set off when the hinges are opened - enabling the French Air Force to target the Lion's Den accurately with their guided missiles.
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Ah, now I understand. I knew explosions were imminent due to something in the empty case.
Comment from Cindy Warren
I hope he won't regret letting the guy live. There's something about an AK-47 packing terrorist that I don't trust. But I don't know if I could kill a helpless man either. Perhaps he can tie him up for a while.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I hope he won't regret letting the guy live. There's something about an AK-47 packing terrorist that I don't trust. But I don't know if I could kill a helpless man either. Perhaps he can tie him up for a while.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Cindy. I appreciate your review. I've been away for a week and have some of your story to catch up on. Soon!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Charles has a problem. If he lets this man go, he may live to regret his decision. Once again, I enjoyed reading this addition to your previous posts. Very good writing as usual.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Charles has a problem. If he lets this man go, he may live to regret his decision. Once again, I enjoyed reading this addition to your previous posts. Very good writing as usual.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your review. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from juliaSjames
"I thanked her profusely, realising that I wouldn't have made it this far without her help." Suggest a rewrite of the section from "realising ..." Because I think this is redundant.
I enjoyed this chapter Tony. I could imagine Charles huffing along in Minaxi's wake, briefcase in hand. And then finally, face to face with his unexpected prisoner.
Fine writing.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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"I thanked her profusely, realising that I wouldn't have made it this far without her help." Suggest a rewrite of the section from "realising ..." Because I think this is redundant.
I enjoyed this chapter Tony. I could imagine Charles huffing along in Minaxi's wake, briefcase in hand. And then finally, face to face with his unexpected prisoner.
Fine writing.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Julia. I appreciate your review and suggestion. All the best, Tony
Comment from damommy
What an exciting chapter. Now, Charles has come across this man with the AK-47 and has disarmed him. Will he kill him? I don't think so, but I'll wait for the next chapter to see.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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What an exciting chapter. Now, Charles has come across this man with the AK-47 and has disarmed him. Will he kill him? I don't think so, but I'll wait for the next chapter to see.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Yvonne. I appreciate your review. All the best, Tony