Now They Know
The truth hurts.15 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
It is not often here on FS that I have recourse to the 'drama' side of my degree, but I found it helpful here. The set description was excellent. I could not only visualise what you intended but given a reasonably equipped theatre or school hall, could have put it into practice.
The concept, dialogue and stage directions were clear and concise. Since my experience did not include ballet I was relieved that you did not go into choreographer-speak. In fact I got the impression thatyou would like the dancers to develop their own steps and much of their interaction for themselves in interpreting your intentions.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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It is not often here on FS that I have recourse to the 'drama' side of my degree, but I found it helpful here. The set description was excellent. I could not only visualise what you intended but given a reasonably equipped theatre or school hall, could have put it into practice.
The concept, dialogue and stage directions were clear and concise. Since my experience did not include ballet I was relieved that you did not go into choreographer-speak. In fact I got the impression thatyou would like the dancers to develop their own steps and much of their interaction for themselves in interpreting your intentions.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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I am so pleased that this short piece appealed to you. I don't write scripts - this is so short because I didn't particularly enjoy the experience. I felt constrained by having to write all the stage directions and thinking in a 3-dimensional manner with action. I know nothing about dance choreography. You are right in thinking I would expect the dancers to ad lib.
I expect if I spent time with this piece I could flesh it out to be more of a story, but maybe that would actually spoil it, as it's impact lies in its brevity.
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I agree with you entirely. Don't change a thing. If I were still teaching dance and drama, I might use this as a basis for and improvisation.
Comment from samandlancelot
Lisa May,
This is the first time I've seen a script for a stage show. I can tell you like poetry. "I did not know I was a lightning rod." (my favorite line)
I think you need at least one more scene to show something. You hint at how he broke her heart, which seems like a fine setup, but there's no story. Where is She and where is He after the first scene? Are their lives tragic, only one tragic outcome and one success? I want to read more about this broken heart and what became of it.
Patricia
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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Lisa May,
This is the first time I've seen a script for a stage show. I can tell you like poetry. "I did not know I was a lightning rod." (my favorite line)
I think you need at least one more scene to show something. You hint at how he broke her heart, which seems like a fine setup, but there's no story. Where is She and where is He after the first scene? Are their lives tragic, only one tragic outcome and one success? I want to read more about this broken heart and what became of it.
Patricia
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. I wonder myself what happened to them. I do not write scripts - I just did this one to see what it's like, and did not particularly enjoy the experience (which is why it is so brief). It needs to be fleshed out, at the moment it is merely a hint of a relationship gone wrong.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
This script that you have written has the potential to be a very good on stage drama performance! I really liked your detailed direction of every action that was happening there! It was a puppet show where you were masterfully pulling the strings! :-)
Best wishes for the contest and have a good day!
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This script that you have written has the potential to be a very good on stage drama performance! I really liked your detailed direction of every action that was happening there! It was a puppet show where you were masterfully pulling the strings! :-)
Best wishes for the contest and have a good day!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
Comment from Patty Palmer
How cool is this>>> You did a great job on this scene!
Shows girl smiling. Sad scene. Too bad she lost her honey!' God bless! Have a great day!
Patty
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How cool is this>>> You did a great job on this scene!
Shows girl smiling. Sad scene. Too bad she lost her honey!' God bless! Have a great day!
Patty
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent script for a tragic romantic performance featuring music, dancing and acting! Her heart is truly broken. He starts out practically clueless, which doesn't make his behavior excusable, but more understandable. Interesting study of human nature and well written.
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Excellent script for a tragic romantic performance featuring music, dancing and acting! Her heart is truly broken. He starts out practically clueless, which doesn't make his behavior excusable, but more understandable. Interesting study of human nature and well written.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020