Boot of the day
fishing story14 total reviews
Comment from January L'Angelle
I like the story, It's clever. There are a number of grammatical errors in it:
You often change tenses, going from present tense to past tense and vise versa.
"What they have not told me" should be: "What they had not told me"
"I tried and almost drown" should be "I tried and almost drowned"
"The lobster bites my hand," should be "The lobster bit my hand,"
"I run out of the water screaming" should be "I ran out of the water screaming"
"You supposed to stay quiet and watch like a lunatic the hook." should be: "You're supposed to stay quiet and watch the hook like a lunatic."
"I notice that my fishing pole started to move." should be:
"I noticed that my fishing pole started to move."
"Excited I run out of the water " should be: "Excited, I ran out of the water"
I know it seems like a lot but it's really just that the tenses are a bit off. Stay in the past tense. It happened a while ago (in the past) so keep the story there. Best of everything to you. I hope this helps. God Bless. -January L.
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reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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I like the story, It's clever. There are a number of grammatical errors in it:
You often change tenses, going from present tense to past tense and vise versa.
"What they have not told me" should be: "What they had not told me"
"I tried and almost drown" should be "I tried and almost drowned"
"The lobster bites my hand," should be "The lobster bit my hand,"
"I run out of the water screaming" should be "I ran out of the water screaming"
"You supposed to stay quiet and watch like a lunatic the hook." should be: "You're supposed to stay quiet and watch the hook like a lunatic."
"I notice that my fishing pole started to move." should be:
"I noticed that my fishing pole started to move."
"Excited I run out of the water " should be: "Excited, I ran out of the water"
I know it seems like a lot but it's really just that the tenses are a bit off. Stay in the past tense. It happened a while ago (in the past) so keep the story there. Best of everything to you. I hope this helps. God Bless. -January L.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2020
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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Thank you so much January for taking the time to correct my mistakes. It looks much better now.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a cute fishing story that should do well in the contest.
I've never heard of catching lobster by letting them bite you. I would have reacted like you.
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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This is a cute fishing story that should do well in the contest.
I've never heard of catching lobster by letting them bite you. I would have reacted like you.
Comment Written 17-May-2020
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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Yup these are sweet water lobsters. delicious but hard to get.
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Very interesting.
Comment from LisaMay
Hahahaha... this is so funny. You must drive your sister and brother-in-law crazy when they want to fish and you want to swim... scaring the fish. I would be screaming underwater too if a lobster nipped me.
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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Hahahaha... this is so funny. You must drive your sister and brother-in-law crazy when they want to fish and you want to swim... scaring the fish. I would be screaming underwater too if a lobster nipped me.
Comment Written 17-May-2020
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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yes you are right, when i see water all I want to do is play in the water.
Comment from ESOSTINE
Nice story; left me reminiscing over my own child hood fishing experience. It was all fun and no dull moment. The ending of the story was beautiful, making the readers smile. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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Nice story; left me reminiscing over my own child hood fishing experience. It was all fun and no dull moment. The ending of the story was beautiful, making the readers smile. Thanks for sharing.
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Comment Written 17-May-2020
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
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thank you