Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Genius in Love, Scene 11"In Search of a Soul
29 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
Chilla is really having quite a session with Cornelius to get him ready to meet his friend. This has to be very hard to write, but you are doing a great job with it. Congratulations on winning book of the month.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
  |
Chilla is really having quite a session with Cornelius to get him ready to meet his friend. This has to be very hard to write, but you are doing a great job with it. Congratulations on winning book of the month.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Thank you for your kind congratulations. Yes, this scene was the hardest for me to write. It it was too abbreviated to show his actual progress over that short period of time.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's nice to see Cornelius and his story back. Or should I have said, to see Jay back with Cornelius's story? But either way, it's all good. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
It's nice to see Cornelius and his story back. Or should I have said, to see Jay back with Cornelius's story? But either way, it's all good. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Thank you, Ric. This was certainly a much more up-close view of Cornelius, alas, but with perhaps too much progress too soon for reality. I wanted to squeeze in one more "failed" practice attempt but I feared it would stretch it out too long.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, this was an exceptional piece of writing. It was also a journey into an autistic mind, which is afraid of the unknown, and as I understand it has difficulty being outside the box or entering an unknown area. What's more, you managed to show how Celilla achieved just that. I was mesmerised. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
 |
Hi Jay, this was an exceptional piece of writing. It was also a journey into an autistic mind, which is afraid of the unknown, and as I understand it has difficulty being outside the box or entering an unknown area. What's more, you managed to show how Celilla achieved just that. I was mesmerised. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Ulla, your mesmerism is what I shoot for! LOL, thank you for hanging in there. I know this was long in detail, but it had to be (should have been longer, with one more failed attempt by the lad, but unfortunately, it was already going too long.
-
Please don't make excuses. The interaction of two was delicate and so very well portrayed. :)))
Comment from amahra
Cornelius sees himself as a problem because he's different. And Cililla is like a little psychologist in Cornelius's head. I'm glad to see that she gets him to focus at the end. I also like the way Cililla celebrates when Corny has a breakthrough.
There is one thing that puzzles me. I don't get the shiny ear thing. Does she have a shiny earring in her ear? I've never seen a shiny ear.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
Cornelius sees himself as a problem because he's different. And Cililla is like a little psychologist in Cornelius's head. I'm glad to see that she gets him to focus at the end. I also like the way Cililla celebrates when Corny has a breakthrough.
There is one thing that puzzles me. I don't get the shiny ear thing. Does she have a shiny earring in her ear? I've never seen a shiny ear.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Thank you, Amahra. No, no ear ring. Say, would you do me a favor and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
-
The original ending didn't bother me, but I see what you mean. But her last bit of dialogue does sound more natural. I'm a Hitchcock fan so I'm used to abrupt endings. lol
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I am slowly getting the hang of the scenes. Did you research autism prior to writing this play? The details of the behaviour of Cornelius is amazing. You move the story forward with expertly written dialogue. A very unusual story with intense moments. Thanks for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
I am slowly getting the hang of the scenes. Did you research autism prior to writing this play? The details of the behaviour of Cornelius is amazing. You move the story forward with expertly written dialogue. A very unusual story with intense moments. Thanks for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Thank you, Seshadri. No, I did no research. They had an animated commercial of tv about an autisic child that was informative. Also, I patterned the verbal and visible cues, a lot, from the tv series, The Good Doctor. You should Goggle it and watch a sample episode if you haven't seen it before. Say, would you do me a favor and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Jay, that was amazing. I was holding my breath at the end when he was staring at her face and he said he was looking at the eyebrows. I wanted to give him a hug, too!! This is such an incredible story, I totally love it. Cililla is doing a magnificent job, which means you have some knowledge about such things. I can't praise this script enjough and would love to be in the audience if you could get someone to look at it and appreciate what you have done here. I can't wait for the next part, my friend. Well done. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
Oh, Jay, that was amazing. I was holding my breath at the end when he was staring at her face and he said he was looking at the eyebrows. I wanted to give him a hug, too!! This is such an incredible story, I totally love it. Cililla is doing a magnificent job, which means you have some knowledge about such things. I can't praise this script enjough and would love to be in the audience if you could get someone to look at it and appreciate what you have done here. I can't wait for the next part, my friend. Well done. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
You don't know how much your enthusiasm means to me, Sandra. Please do me a favor, though, and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in ... to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
-
I've just been and read it again. That is perfect, Jay. Yes you did right adding that little bit. What I want to know is, where did this story come from? It's so amazing, you should
well deserve BoM every month! xxx
Comment from Theodore McDowell
This scene and the dialogue is masterful. So many things stuck out--the broken pickle jar, the discussion around looking her in the eyes, and especially the first piano lesson. So well done, Jay!!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
This scene and the dialogue is masterful. So many things stuck out--the broken pickle jar, the discussion around looking her in the eyes, and especially the first piano lesson. So well done, Jay!!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Coming from you .... a thrill to hear! Say, would you do me a favor and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStunning. I have no clue as to how credible this would seem to an expert in sundry forms of autism; regardless, you desssssserve extra credit for your brilliant rendering of this unique, intense, gripping, interaction. Cheerssssss. LIZ
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
SSSSSStunning. I have no clue as to how credible this would seem to an expert in sundry forms of autism; regardless, you desssssserve extra credit for your brilliant rendering of this unique, intense, gripping, interaction. Cheerssssss. LIZ
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
Thank you so much, Liz. An expert would probably (and legitimately) laugh. But I must be faking out a lot of readers, LOL. Say, would you do me a favor and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in ... to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
-
Looks good!
Comment from AliMom
I think Clarina's last line is implied before she says it by her looks and actions. The question here is whether the line is for the audience or reader or is it for Cornelius and Cililla? Is it to make clear and apparent the growing relationship between the two? for them? for the audience?
Happy to re-read your work all the time. Thrilled that you think I have worthwhile comments to contribute. Love Cililla's name.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
|
I think Clarina's last line is implied before she says it by her looks and actions. The question here is whether the line is for the audience or reader or is it for Cornelius and Cililla? Is it to make clear and apparent the growing relationship between the two? for them? for the audience?
Happy to re-read your work all the time. Thrilled that you think I have worthwhile comments to contribute. Love Cililla's name.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
-
I love your thoughtful review. Say, would you do me a favor and reread the few sentences from when Clarina sticks her head in to the end? I am so mad at myself for dropping it off where I did.
-
Sure, with pleasure