Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Genius in Love, Scene 17"In Search of a Soul
32 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
It seems like a long time since we've seen Cornelius, Jay. This is a wonderful chapter showing his emotional growth, with the help of Cililla. It's nice that he is able to comfort Jennie. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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It seems like a long time since we've seen Cornelius, Jay. This is a wonderful chapter showing his emotional growth, with the help of Cililla. It's nice that he is able to comfort Jennie. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Judy. From the writer's standpoint, having one scene follow another with someone whose self-expression is limited is exhausting ... enervating, really. Yes, he is growing and I'm glad that is coming across and that his growith is outstripping Cililla's prompts. Oh, Girl, I am so happy you are enjoying this! And to give me a six on top of it! Thanks for that!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Wow!! Cornelius is jumping leaps and bounds here. I like it because you still showed us the struggle. I am glad Jennie is understanding of him. This is a good write.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Wow!! Cornelius is jumping leaps and bounds here. I like it because you still showed us the struggle. I am glad Jennie is understanding of him. This is a good write.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Barbara, when a good writer says it's a good write it makes me smile. Thank you so much! It looks like I'll be able to bring down the final curtain with the next scene. I keep picturing a "Victory for Rock and Roll" Hollywood ending with the sock hop that has the Mayor and his wife on the floor doing the bop! I want Genius in Love to end with more dignity and less pap than that, but I want it to be a feel-good ending. Thanks for reading and for the stupendous sixer!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, this is a very moving scene. Young love is blooming and Cornelius is both receptive and as outgoing as he's capable of. Will Jennie stand next to him when is playing at the graduation. We also learn in this scene that her father has died, but we don't know what happened. I loved this scene, you really showed their tentative, timid and loving interaction. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Hi Jay, this is a very moving scene. Young love is blooming and Cornelius is both receptive and as outgoing as he's capable of. Will Jennie stand next to him when is playing at the graduation. We also learn in this scene that her father has died, but we don't know what happened. I loved this scene, you really showed their tentative, timid and loving interaction. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Ulla, so very, very much for your continued reading of Genius in Love. I'm getting near the end of it. When it began, I had no idea of how it would end. It's the joy of creation. I hope to work out some difficulties and present the final scene in a couple of weeks. Your six stars is the validation I needed to launch me into that final scene.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for sharing another fine scene that gives us a glimpse into the thoughts of a delightful character and the effects he has on those around him.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thanks for sharing another fine scene that gives us a glimpse into the thoughts of a delightful character and the effects he has on those around him.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Ric. You've been here the whole time. I thank you for that.
Comment from Senyai
Jay,
I wasn't sure what this scene would hold for all characters involved per that dreadful phone call ending the last scene. Mr. Jax is deceased but do not know for sure how that happened but if I may venture a guess, it was suicide over losing his son. Not positive but thinking maybe that's the case. By Jennie's actions and manner, I don't think she knows this either and was just told her father died out there in Socorro, New Mexico. Since Jennie wasn't there when he died I am thinking it wasn't a shootout with police or along those lines. Maybe he dropped off Jennie with Aunt Fawnelle and went back to their old house and did this? Not sure. Very sensitive subject if this is the case.
But Cornelius is speaking to Jennie at recess by the large flat rock with their sack lunches laid out untouched while they talk of why she was gone and why she returned. Jennie needs Cornie's tenderness and even as Cililla coaches Cornie, Cililla notices Cornie is doing much of this on his own. He offers Jennie his hand and listens to Jennie pour out her time in Socorro... or as much as she knows about her father's death. Cililla continues to coach and finds Cornie keeps second guessing her with little nuances and emotions toward Jennie.
So touching, Jay! And inspiring to watch Cornie grow. He even tries to cheer up Jennie with a joke.... with Aunt Fawnie's name lol. It also seems that Phyllis told Jennie she missed her daughter and so did Cornie and wanted her to return home. Jennie is comforted and Cornie is happy.... Both children seem undaunted by Mr. Jax's death or at least unaware of the scope of this tragedy.
I am so interested in where you will take this next, Jay. But am buoyed by the fact Cornie is growing, even being asked to play the piano at their graduation.
Wonderful treatment of all the characters with sensitive issues all around and keeping everything in a 1950's mode!
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Jay,
I wasn't sure what this scene would hold for all characters involved per that dreadful phone call ending the last scene. Mr. Jax is deceased but do not know for sure how that happened but if I may venture a guess, it was suicide over losing his son. Not positive but thinking maybe that's the case. By Jennie's actions and manner, I don't think she knows this either and was just told her father died out there in Socorro, New Mexico. Since Jennie wasn't there when he died I am thinking it wasn't a shootout with police or along those lines. Maybe he dropped off Jennie with Aunt Fawnelle and went back to their old house and did this? Not sure. Very sensitive subject if this is the case.
But Cornelius is speaking to Jennie at recess by the large flat rock with their sack lunches laid out untouched while they talk of why she was gone and why she returned. Jennie needs Cornie's tenderness and even as Cililla coaches Cornie, Cililla notices Cornie is doing much of this on his own. He offers Jennie his hand and listens to Jennie pour out her time in Socorro... or as much as she knows about her father's death. Cililla continues to coach and finds Cornie keeps second guessing her with little nuances and emotions toward Jennie.
So touching, Jay! And inspiring to watch Cornie grow. He even tries to cheer up Jennie with a joke.... with Aunt Fawnie's name lol. It also seems that Phyllis told Jennie she missed her daughter and so did Cornie and wanted her to return home. Jennie is comforted and Cornie is happy.... Both children seem undaunted by Mr. Jax's death or at least unaware of the scope of this tragedy.
I am so interested in where you will take this next, Jay. But am buoyed by the fact Cornie is growing, even being asked to play the piano at their graduation.
Wonderful treatment of all the characters with sensitive issues all around and keeping everything in a 1950's mode!
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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You got from Jennie's brief, incomplete dialogue precisely what I wanted the reader to get. Yes, it did sound planned, having Jennie spend the night at her Aunt's house, and her rush that same night to get Jennie in the car and shuttled off to California. It's unlikely that Fawnelle would have left when she did with Jennie unless she was called in the middle of the night. There was urgency in it, or she wouldn't have convinced Jenny by saying her dad wouldn't be mad. There was irony in Fawnelle's words, don't you think?
My question is this: Given the scant information the reader was conveyed through this scene, do you think the reader will need to know the full background? I'm wrestling with that.
"Cililla notices Cornie is doing much of this on his own." I am so glad you are picking up on aspects of Cornelius's growth. He wants so much to crash through the glass ceiling of his limitations and so he only follows Cililla's direction and expanding on it.
"Both children seem undaunted by Mr. Jax's death or at least unaware of the scope of this tragedy." Unaware, is the keyword. I've already had one person mention the strangeness that Jennie seems uncaring.
Once more, Senyai, you are showing anyone who reads your words here what a review should do, and the depth that the reviewer should go in her/his reading. I thank you for that. If I hadn't already given you the nomination, you'd be getting it now.
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Jay, oh thank you for this honor! I really appreciate your generous response to my review. I?ll contact you in private message here on FanStory about any further details.
Thanks again, Jay ❤️
Comment from Cogitator
I have to study dialogue. It makes it so much easier for me to present ideas when two or more people discuss a topic as a group. Great job, Jay...John
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I have to study dialogue. It makes it so much easier for me to present ideas when two or more people discuss a topic as a group. Great job, Jay...John
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you, John. I haven't got a full grasp of dialogue, either. Its value is in what is not said, but what directs the reader/audience to intuit about the speaking character. But I'm not there yet. Thank you for the six stars, john. It's humbling.
Comment from chatterbox1
Hi Jay. So, I overlooked the stage direction (?) and just concentrated on the dialogue and setting. I think I got it. The children are twelve?
How much time passed between Jennie's dad's death and this scene? It doesn't seem to have affected her.
Do you have experience with Special Needs children?
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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Hi Jay. So, I overlooked the stage direction (?) and just concentrated on the dialogue and setting. I think I got it. The children are twelve?
How much time passed between Jennie's dad's death and this scene? It doesn't seem to have affected her.
Do you have experience with Special Needs children?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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No, I don't have direct experience with Special Needs children, but I feel for them. Just a few days since her father's death. I hope the reader/ audience gets the feeling that there was more in the details of her father's death than what was revealed to Jennie. I'm sorry I misinformed you about the stage direction: It's certainly not supposed to be "overlooked". They are more for the director's use in getting the most out of his actors, but they are essential for the reader in order to have a full understanding.
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When I said "overlooked," maybe I should have said skimmed. It helped me limit the distraction (I'm easily distracted).
The reason I asked about your experience is that I'm not feeling Cornelius. Autism does not necessarily equal mental delay or deficiency. Autistic people are rarely shy; outspoken to rudeness is more the norm. They are usually intelligent, just have their perceptions wired differently, thus their struggle to meet our expectations.
Hope this helps,
Carol
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Thank you, Carol, for that clarification. I have been watching a Netflix series called "Life on the Spectrum" that follows a number of Autistic young adults in their dating relationships. Some of them are withdrawn while some are very social. There is a whole spectrum on the Spectrum. I have created Cornelius to be of the withdrawn type. That is why I created Cililla to be the expression of his deeper mind (I hesitate to call it Unconscious mind). Without her in the play, there would be very little communication between Cornelius and those in his environment. She keeps him stretching ... and now he is stretching beyond Cililla's expectation.
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That's great. You've introduced me to something new. I might check out that series. Always open to learn more. I spent 16 years driving school bus for special kids and loved it. My job allowed (required) me to interact with the families so I could do my best work. Plus 2 autistic grandsons. I tend to soak up information wherever I go--
Keep writing, Jay. I may never write a script, but with your direction I plan to learn appreciation for the work you do.
Carol
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We all struggle to express the truth that's within us, and often have to settle for a "close to" and a "sounds right"!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Jay Squires,
Nice scene of Romance Script having impressive as well as natural phraseology, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Description of Setting, persons, situations, and style of dialogues is particularly noteworthy.
I'm gradually reaching the main stream of this script.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Hello Jay Squires,
Nice scene of Romance Script having impressive as well as natural phraseology, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Description of Setting, persons, situations, and style of dialogues is particularly noteworthy.
I'm gradually reaching the main stream of this script.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you, RP. I've always felt grateful to have you along for this play's ride (to mix a metaphor). It's almost over now, my friend.
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Jay Squire, Most Welcome!
[ Nothing is over. I won't let your next work slip...]
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aww, love is in the air!! Bless her. I see now why Phyllis fainted, and why Jennie was brought back, just in time. Cornie and Jessie need each other, and I think Cornie is going to ask Jennie to stand with him while he plays. But, being so shy, I wonder if she will. I bet I've got it all wrong, but it would be so lovely for that to happen. What a big improvement in Cornie! Just shows what love can do, even at that young age. Loved this, my friend!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Aww, love is in the air!! Bless her. I see now why Phyllis fainted, and why Jennie was brought back, just in time. Cornie and Jessie need each other, and I think Cornie is going to ask Jennie to stand with him while he plays. But, being so shy, I wonder if she will. I bet I've got it all wrong, but it would be so lovely for that to happen. What a big improvement in Cornie! Just shows what love can do, even at that young age. Loved this, my friend!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Your enjoyment of this scene means so much to me, Sandra. And I think it would be great to have Jennie right there on the piano bench with him. Yeah, I think I have to work that out. Thank you, Dear Sandra, for the six star and your heartfelt encouragement.
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You are most welcome, I have to thank you for writing such a delightful story for us to read. I've just noticed I gave Jennie a new name!! Sorry! xxx
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I didn't even notice. LOL, That's good!
Comment from Giftedone.Eric Wallace .
Very nice very nice it grab me from the beginning kept me lingering on I like more from the character I think it was very beautiful written keep up the good work
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Very nice very nice it grab me from the beginning kept me lingering on I like more from the character I think it was very beautiful written keep up the good work
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you, G.G., I'm glad to have you aboard. If you liked this scene, I think you'll enjoy the next.