Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Paul, I never read that poem so I don't know about that. But it does seem that God has a long list of his resume and it sure doesn't look good. It appears that the door to heaven will not be opened. Oh dear. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Ulla. Patrick will be back.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Patrick McKee's Phone Call to Go
by Paul McFarland

Funny poem, Paul.

Check your subtitle....

Patrick McKee's Phone Call to (Go) do you mean "God"?

Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks, Gypsy. The title box in the entry was one space short. Yes, it should be God.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 04-Oct-2021

I suggest you write it this way...

Patrick McKee Phone Call to God... It will make more sense

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021

You are right. Thanks.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I do remember Patrick McKee from your earlier poem. He does have a little repenting to do or it is probably a little to late. LOL Your poem read smoothly and was humerus. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks for your review, Barbara. You will find out what happens to Patrick in the near future.

Comment from Robert Zimmerman

Excellent

Hello Paul.

I've always believed that a good poem should tell a story and should rhyme. You've done both. I enjoyed the read and I was amused by the circumstances and the final, almost resolution.

The poem is clever and funny.

Robert

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thank you, Robert. There is another chapter coming.

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 03-Oct-2021

You're welcome.

Comment from Sandra Barlow

Excellent

Cleverly written and funny too.
For Pat McKee was you know who.
He hasn't a hope in Hell
Of hearing the sound of that bell
That rings in Heaven when
Death strikes at seven.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Yours is far superior.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review. There will be another one about poor old Patrick.

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

Ha ha ha. I absolutely love this poem. This is my kind of humour. The last line is hilarious. Just one thing. I think that you should have chosen more of a cartoon type artwork.
Thanks for the laugh. Jen.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks, Jen. I'm new to the site and haven't figured out how to put a picture with the poem. FS just throws something on for me.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

I haven't read the previous one, but it sounds as if I should! This one is witty and humorous, and also having a dig at many traditional beliefs, and showing up the folly of a "works based" entry into heaven, even if there are no "good works" in poor Patrick's case. Seems everyone still wants to go to heaven, regardless of whether they wanted God in their lives previously! Well written, nice rhyme and flow, and leaves readers of course wanting to find out his outcome!
Wendy

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Wendy. Hope you find the first one. The outcome will be forthcoming in awhile.

Comment from nandimandisa

Exceptional

Perfectly stated! The rhymes are excellent. The beat and flow are superb. The subject matter is extremely purposeful, what a great message... don't unleash all hell on earth then expect to go to heaven. I absolutely love this! Great job!

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review. Wait until you see the next one.

Comment from Sherry Asbury

Excellent

LOL... funny stuff. Up to a point, when we turn and examine our own sins. Is it so hard to be good? Well, for some of us - yes. Some of us are good because God's judgment scares us. Then some of us holier than thou's behave because he loves us...

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Sherry. We're still not through with Patrick.

Comment from Mrs. KT

Exceptional

Cheers, Paul!
What a delightful and creative rendering of meeting "the Big Guy!"
How my grandfather would have loved this tale!
And how I smiled throughout as you carefully orchestrated so many foibles and actions people have committed for centuries.
Loved every morsel!

Thank you!
diane

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2021

Thank you, Diane. I even left out a few verses from the original poem.