Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 3a"Can a broken heart be mended?
22 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
The title is becoming clearer as I continue to read. There is one sentence that doesn't flow as smoothly as the rest. It is in the section that starts with, "
see you later mom."
"Cordero grabbed his hat and placed Alexandra's on her head
place (ed) his hand in ( on) the small of her back.
Otherwise, the flow was smooth and I want to keep reading.
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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2022
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The title is becoming clearer as I continue to read. There is one sentence that doesn't flow as smoothly as the rest. It is in the section that starts with, "
see you later mom."
"Cordero grabbed his hat and placed Alexandra's on her head
place (ed) his hand in ( on) the small of her back.
Otherwise, the flow was smooth and I want to keep reading.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2022
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I fixed that area. Thank you. I took some words out as I posted and still got it wrong. I appreciate the help.
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I am looking forward to finishing football.
Comment from lancellot
A good chapter.
notes:
"Whoa boys! I'm excited to see you, too, but you know jumping on {humans} isn't allowed."
- should this be: people. You don't really hear us referring to each other as humans.
Cordero adjusted a gel seat cushion. "This is so your rear end doesn't get sore." He handed her gloves. "Put these on. They'll help your hands and those fancy fingernails." As she did, he stood on Dolly's side. "We mount horses on the left, so stand here." He held out the stirrup. Place your left foot here and pull yourself up by the saddle horn. As you do, swing your right leg over the horse."
- add spaces
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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2022
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A good chapter.
notes:
"Whoa boys! I'm excited to see you, too, but you know jumping on {humans} isn't allowed."
- should this be: people. You don't really hear us referring to each other as humans.
Cordero adjusted a gel seat cushion. "This is so your rear end doesn't get sore." He handed her gloves. "Put these on. They'll help your hands and those fancy fingernails." As she did, he stood on Dolly's side. "We mount horses on the left, so stand here." He held out the stirrup. Place your left foot here and pull yourself up by the saddle horn. As you do, swing your right leg over the horse."
- add spaces
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2022
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I changed 'humans' to people. I don't understand your suggestion for spacing. Cordero is the only person speaking. I did notice a missing quotation mark and added it. Thank you for the suggestions and reading.