Morning Alarm
Sweet dreams... (true story flash 100 words)26 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
The Surprise Symphony, is the nickname of Haydn's Symphony No. 94 in G Major. It was so named for the "surprise"--a startlingly loud chord--that interrupts the otherwise soft and gentle flow of the second movement. A bit like this old cockerel tale of yours really
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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The Surprise Symphony, is the nickname of Haydn's Symphony No. 94 in G Major. It was so named for the "surprise"--a startlingly loud chord--that interrupts the otherwise soft and gentle flow of the second movement. A bit like this old cockerel tale of yours really
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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I don't think any of us like loud surprises. That chord was probably put in to wake up dozing concertgoers... the composer getting some revenge.
Comment from Wendy G
Poor Lily. No, I agree with her that the sounds of other birds would be nicer to wake up to. You've written a fun story with skill and humour- and I am sure it will do well. Best wishes for it.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Poor Lily. No, I agree with her that the sounds of other birds would be nicer to wake up to. You've written a fun story with skill and humour- and I am sure it will do well. Best wishes for it.
Wendy
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thanks for your comments Wendy.
Comment from humpwhistle
I can think of a few birdcalls I'd rather wake up to than the crowing of a rooster. I guess I'm just not of an agrarian bent.
I suspected your companion was a cat early on. But the mention of a birdcall, I was certain.
Best of luck with the Committee.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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I can think of a few birdcalls I'd rather wake up to than the crowing of a rooster. I guess I'm just not of an agrarian bent.
I suspected your companion was a cat early on. But the mention of a birdcall, I was certain.
Best of luck with the Committee.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thanks for reviewing. I guess you are very familiar with flash stories and can see what's coming through experience.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love this double-meaning surprise story! I am imagining this sensuous female body when all of a sudden your wonderful cat, Lily jumps out behind the covers and runs for the hills hearing the sound of a rooster for the first time! My cat, Sunny wouldn't like to hear the sound of a rooster either! Both of them being city kitties they haven't had the pleasure of waking up to the early morning sound of a cock a doodle doo rooster.
I grew up in the suburbs but had the annoying 'pleasure' of waking up each morning to the sound of a neighboring rooster. I got used to it as did the other neighbors. Only visited a farm once or twice.
Yet I loved the taste of fresh milk and butter and the other special tastes of farm life.
Anyway, I loved your flash non-fiction tale!
This is a great way to start my morning!
Jesse
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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I love this double-meaning surprise story! I am imagining this sensuous female body when all of a sudden your wonderful cat, Lily jumps out behind the covers and runs for the hills hearing the sound of a rooster for the first time! My cat, Sunny wouldn't like to hear the sound of a rooster either! Both of them being city kitties they haven't had the pleasure of waking up to the early morning sound of a cock a doodle doo rooster.
I grew up in the suburbs but had the annoying 'pleasure' of waking up each morning to the sound of a neighboring rooster. I got used to it as did the other neighbors. Only visited a farm once or twice.
Yet I loved the taste of fresh milk and butter and the other special tastes of farm life.
Anyway, I loved your flash non-fiction tale!
This is a great way to start my morning!
Jesse
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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I appreciate your thorough review very much Jesse. I didn't like the rooster call either - Lily nearly shredded me as she exited the bed.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent, perfectly executed True Story flash, that surprised me and made me smile - both on first and second reading. As always, I think the minimal twist in the tail of the tale (the last sentence here) should be further separated from the rest by white space to increase impact.
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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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This is an excellent, perfectly executed True Story flash, that surprised me and made me smile - both on first and second reading. As always, I think the minimal twist in the tail of the tale (the last sentence here) should be further separated from the rest by white space to increase impact.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thanks for your helpful review - I took your advice and put the last line separately.
(Someone else critiqued the story by saying it ended too abruptly.)
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Tell them a flash is supposed to end abruptly!
Comment from tfawcus
A real cockadoodle do for the contest! The disguised beginning makes the turn at the end quite delicious. I hope this one does well in the contest. It deserves to!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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A real cockadoodle do for the contest! The disguised beginning makes the turn at the end quite delicious. I hope this one does well in the contest. It deserves to!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thanks for your supportive words, Tony.