What Would You Like to Do Today?
Dr Seuss type poem for kids ~let the comma guide the rhythm30 total reviews
Comment from harmony13
The author's words were enjoyable to read and my grandson would love
this poem. The author's words are fun, interesting, rhyme well, and
are creative. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes
well with the theme and words of this poem.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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The author's words were enjoyable to read and my grandson would love
this poem. The author's words are fun, interesting, rhyme well, and
are creative. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes
well with the theme and words of this poem.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Harmony, I love you!!! And if you think your grandkids would, I would love to share with you someday, some that my grandkids made up. You make me smile, and my heart feel good! That's about the best treat I have had in a long time, and it didn't even come with calories.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Dr, Seuss came to visit you in your sleep? Sounds utterly familiar. Betcha dollar to donuts the kids enjoyed this piece. As for comma, Grammarly and friends analyse writing as composition whereas poets have a license to parse the sentences as they see fit. Myself, I lean twards ,,, elipsises.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Dr, Seuss came to visit you in your sleep? Sounds utterly familiar. Betcha dollar to donuts the kids enjoyed this piece. As for comma, Grammarly and friends analyse writing as composition whereas poets have a license to parse the sentences as they see fit. Myself, I lean twards ,,, elipsises.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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You, crack, me, up, Tom! Hahahahah,.?
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Just so you know, it took years to develop the macabre sense of humor I claim as my own.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I love this children's poem!!!
It's light, whimsical, humorous and Dr. Suess (esque). I have loved his poetry since I was a little girl. You captured his style but retained your own voice. Very well done! Thanks for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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I love this children's poem!!!
It's light, whimsical, humorous and Dr. Suess (esque). I have loved his poetry since I was a little girl. You captured his style but retained your own voice. Very well done! Thanks for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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KL. You have made my day! I love it when I find another Dr Seuss lover. My grandbabes had "Wocket in my Pocket" memorized and they would shout out the words as they knew them. Then we always made up ones about each other and had more giggles from them. Thank you again my friend!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
You are right, if one allows the commas to guide the reading, it does sound Seuss-like. The rhyming and silliness help too. I imagine any child reading or hearing your poem would be delighted!
Good luck with this fun contest.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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You are right, if one allows the commas to guide the reading, it does sound Seuss-like. The rhyming and silliness help too. I imagine any child reading or hearing your poem would be delighted!
Good luck with this fun contest.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Pam, Thank you for the lovely comments and kind review. As always you are so very sweet. So much appreciated.
Comment from nomi338
You wrote a poem that pleases, you wrote a poem that teases.
The poem you wrote was fun to read, the poem you wrote was fine indeed.
You wrote a poem that made me laugh, I was already tickled before I'd read half.
The poem you wrote should win the contest, the poem you wrote may prove to be best.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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You wrote a poem that pleases, you wrote a poem that teases.
The poem you wrote was fun to read, the poem you wrote was fine indeed.
You wrote a poem that made me laugh, I was already tickled before I'd read half.
The poem you wrote should win the contest, the poem you wrote may prove to be best.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Nomi, Thank you for the lovely comments and kind review. As always you are so very sweet. So much appreciated. I love the poem you wrote
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You are welcome.
Comment from Wendy G
A fine poem, and your grandchildren doubtless love all the special poems you make them for them, even if you have to adjust the metre slightly. It's a fun one. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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A fine poem, and your grandchildren doubtless love all the special poems you make them for them, even if you have to adjust the metre slightly. It's a fun one. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Thank you for the lovely comments and kind review. As always you are so very sweet. So much appreciated,
Comment from Whitewave
Yes, Dr Seuss is a ton of fun and so is your poem. The sometimes-missing rhyme or rhythm is what makes it a genuine example of spontaneous child-like creativity. And, what kid wouldn't love that picture?
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Yes, Dr Seuss is a ton of fun and so is your poem. The sometimes-missing rhyme or rhythm is what makes it a genuine example of spontaneous child-like creativity. And, what kid wouldn't love that picture?
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Thank you so very much! You have no idea what that means to me!
Bless you!
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
Cute poem. The repetition and rhyming should be something children would love to read. Thank you for sharing your talent with the group. Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Cute poem. The repetition and rhyming should be something children would love to read. Thank you for sharing your talent with the group. Good luck to you.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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I thank you so very much Rachel. It's always scary doing something different, but my grandchildren always loved to hear my versions of Dr Seuss, as he is my favorite kids author
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
I see now this is an entry to a rhyming kid's poem. What makes it hard to read is the set-up. Typically, with end rhyme poems. the last word of each line is a rhyming word. This isn't done so it's hard to see the rhyme scheme. It makes the reader think the rhyming is internal but not end rhyme. Only the first two lines are set-up as end rhyme lines.
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reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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I see now this is an entry to a rhyming kid's poem. What makes it hard to read is the set-up. Typically, with end rhyme poems. the last word of each line is a rhyming word. This isn't done so it's hard to see the rhyme scheme. It makes the reader think the rhyming is internal but not end rhyme. Only the first two lines are set-up as end rhyme lines.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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It accidentally got saved before the editing was done, so I feel bad that you had to see it then, as my fingers jerk and it wasn't right yet. Lol, you really aren't catching me on a good day today.
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Okay, I understand.
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Dearest Sandra, once again I welcome you to our family of wonderful authors and dearest of friends. I wrote you a review last night on your poem about your life and somehow when I pushed save, it disappeared so not sure you got it. I will go on and do it again, or at least look if it shows up, as your poem was beautiful and must have been very difficult to write, I know all too well how that feels. I would like to ask you a favor and please look at the end result of my poem after all edits were done and I had my notes in there?
I am not asking for you to change your review, but hate to have anyone view my poems before they are finished, which wasn't your fault that my finger jerked and saved it. Be very careful when you submit a poem cause if you hit anyplace on the site accidentally it is saved. Thank you my friend and I am sure we will be crossing paths many times here on FS
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I will return to your poem and see what you have done to it. Thanks, for your note to me. Please click on my profile and read some of my poems. Leave a review if you like.
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I most certainly will, as I loved what I already read, but cannot find the review I wrote, so I will be writing a new one for that as well. Thanks Sweetie, and I also wanted to tell you that you and I grew up with much of the same history. We didn't have water or a bathroom in the house until 1966. My mother would heat a tub in the Summer and us 7 kids would take turns bathing, from cleanest to dirtiest in the same water. I also relate my fear of spiders to the outdoor bathroom, : )
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Yes, we used the washtub on Saturday nights in the same manner. Great to make your acquaintance on this site. Thanks for redoing the review.
Comment from royowen
I'm not completely sure I would like my grandchildren read this, but despite rhythm problems it was extremely clever, with multiple mono rhymed, different in each stanza. I found it unique, (which is uncommon) so for being adeptly clever, well done, and good luck, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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I'm not completely sure I would like my grandchildren read this, but despite rhythm problems it was extremely clever, with multiple mono rhymed, different in each stanza. I found it unique, (which is uncommon) so for being adeptly clever, well done, and good luck, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Roy, I guess I was thinking of a little older kids, past 10 years old. I think I will go in and change it, as I really respect your opinion, and since I no longer have any younger than 11, I was thinking about what makes them laugh.
Not younger kids!
Thank you Roy!
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Even the older kids, back in my swearing days, even then I was aware of the influence I would have, not only on the young, but the ?older? kids. It?s a long story how I came to that conclusion, but we are sentinels for others, whether one believes it or not. You are a thoughtfully kind and gracious person.
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Roy, I sometimes feel like a reincarnated Dr Seuss
Not thinking how it might sound or look to kids, while trying to be comical. Would you mind taking another look at it? I love your honesty.
It's what I admire most about you.
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It wasn't right until a minute ago, but I think I have it fixed now, and I do feel better about it. Thank you again my friend